This post is about an interesting convo Top and I had last week, but it wasn't going to fit into what was already a long ass post. It was about her future children. Yes, Top wants to be a mother. Not anytime soon mind you. She doesn't even have "the itch". But she does want someday to have a child.
And she doesn't feel the need to be married to do that. She doesn't think she'll ever be married. Calm down all you traditionalists out there who think women like Top are destroying the fabric of families as they should be. Get over your damn selves! She's not a future statistic or a victim of not thinking things through. She's planning on a life that fits who she is as a person and what she wants. If more people tried that, the divorce rate would be lower. I'm just saying...
Her mother has expressed interest in her future grandchild, but also acceptance that Top may never marry. After you have a mother's approval, what else does one need? Certainly not the approval of some guy who can't even take a hint that he missed his chance at having something real with you.
On another note, she also had an interesting convo with her ex, but again, too much to post last week, so here's what happened there. He called and they talked. He apologized... again... for everything that went down between the two of them. You know you're fucking up when you're still apologizing over a year and a half later.
But their talk did serve a good purpose. It gave Top a better feeling about the whole situation. She spoke her mind without a filter and got some peace from it. He's not doing so well, but who cares about his ass? He screwed up his chance for sympathy a long time ago. I'm just glad Top is on the road to picking up all the pieces of herself. I think of it as breadcrumbs you leave on the ground while in a relationship. When you go back and pick them up, eventually you find the person you were before the tumult of said relationship. Being able to define yourself without including him is a great thing.
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