Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Tip Top Tuesday: The Ex From Hell

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [In my last post, which was a month ago, talked about her birthday and her annual birthday I'm-a-Cancer reflection on life. I also mentioned some stuff about her ex, specifically how I felt that she was emerging from looking at everything through that lens.] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

Since that time, some stuff has come to light about her ex. Long story short, he's even worse that we previously believed. Why he felt the need to un-burden himself with revelations to Top I don't understand. I can only assume it's because he's weak and selfish and a Grade A asshole.

Top began to think about all the nice guys she's met in the time since her relationship ended. She has considered how many of them she never even gave a chance to. Whether or not it was directly because of the ex (which I think it was not), the fact remains that she's been turning down nice guys who may actually be nice guys left and right.

This is all while her ex, Grade A Asshole, is walking around pretending he's a genuinely good guy. It's frustrating to think that there are women out there who don't know who he is or how terrible he can be. I wish there was some way, Scarlet Letter style, to mark him and let the world know he was not a catch.

If this were a sitcom, I'd buy a domain from GoDaddy.com and dedicate it to bringing him down. Get him fired, dumped, ostracized by his family. That would be some sweet-tasting revenge. The part of me that feels protective of my friends just wishes he would go poof.

Image via Uncyclopedia
But alas, this is real life. The mature thing to do is keep on moving on with life and leave it up to God/the universe/karma to kick his ass. I will be mature. I will be mature.

I will say this. If he doesn't lose Top's number, I will pretend like I'm on an ABC sitcom and take him down. Prepare the laugh tracks cause it's going to be legen---wait for it--- dary.

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