Big Bad Thursday: All Work And No Play? Not These Two

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Bad was three weeks ago. I talked about how he and Jordan worked to find balance between their personal and professional lives and how it was serving them well in their relationship.] Read Big Bad Thursday posts.

Another thing they do that makes them so awesome and strong is they they really make time for the pleasures large and small in life. The biggest example of this was the second weekend of August. It was the weekend of my engagement party.

They both had finals during that time. Papers, projects, tests galore. Yet they made time to come out to the party and really seemed to let their hair down and have fun. The next day, Easy and I invited them along to amazing seats at a White Sox game. They came to that too. We all had a really good time. Personally, I love having adult friends who understand responsibility but also understand how to have fun.

More recently, they went on vacation. They set the timing so they could go right after finals. They go on vacations and have fun. I kind of envy their vacationing. Easy and I haven't been on vacation yet. Travelling for two days to go to an out-of-town gig of his doesn't count. But back to Bad and Tia. I can't wait to hear about their vacation. I know it was great.

Big Bad Thursday: Finding Balance Is Key

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Quick Recap [In my last post about Bad, I was really looking forward to having them as neighbors. I envisioned something very Honeymooners. I also complimented Bad and Jordan on their low-maintenance relationship] Read Big Bad Thursday posts.

It's been a while since I posted about anyone on this blog, but I've been super busy and haven't really had time to catch up with my friends since they're all super busy too. Bad is working full time and in grad school, so he's close to one of the busiest of my friends.

But I did catch up with him and I actually remembered to ask about the status of his love life. Things between him and Jordan are good, great even.

They're both in grad school and they both work full time. That is not a recipe for lazing away nights on the couch simply being a couple.

So how do they keep their relationship happy and strong? They make time for each other. They treat their relationship as a priority.

Going out to dinner isn't going to preclude finishing up work on a work or school project that didn't get finished on schedule. They have similar priorities. Their careers are important to them, so neither of them will be upset if the other has to change plans.

Having said that, they do make sure not to change relationship-centric plans to often. They don't have a set date night, but they take full advantage of mutual free time to nurture their relationship.

Moving on to the Honeymooners thoughts I was having. Yeah... that hasn't happened. Easy and I are super busy, just as busy as Bad and Jordan are. They haven't been to our house since we moved in, only Bad came by to help us move. We haven't been to their house since they moved in, only I have been by to help them move.

I'm hoping we can work out more activities in the future, but there just really isn't time. Maybe after they finish finals or something. In fact, I don't expect we'll see them in the next few weeks other than at our engagement party. There's only so many hours in the day.

But I'm glad that I have a close friend with a solid relationship because I still get sad when I think of the demise of <a href="http://quitethelovelife.blogspot.com/search/label/Lion">Lion's</a> relationship.

Big Bad Thursday: Living and Loving in Hyde Park

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Bad was back at the beginning of June. I talked about the weekend they moved into their apartment, I got engaged, and they hung out with my family for Memorial Day. Good times.] Read Big Bad Thursday posts.

Since then, they've been doing well in their new apartment. They already lived together, so there wasn't any co-habitating adjustments to make. They have more room in their current apartment, so that probably just makes things better.

Bad and Jordan don't really have room for their current dinette set in their apartment, so Easy and I will probably buy it from them once we get our place setup. We did get a Hyde Park apartment, not too far from Bad and Jordan, and we are moving in Friday-Saturday.

I'm so looking forward to having them as neighbors. They are both grad students while working full time. My fiance Easy and I both have ridiculous schedules as well. But I'm looking forward to some time hanging out, maybe having dinner somewhere on 53rd street or grabbing a drink one evening, somewhere we could both walk to.

About Bad and Jordan's love life: they are both extremely busy, but also very independent. They set what I think is a good example of a low-maintenance relationship. They love each other very much and are fully committed to making their relationship work. But they don't do neediness and neither of them is demanding. They give each other room to handle their business and make time for each other so their relationship doesn't get lost in the mix. Take notes people, take notes.

Big Bad Thursday: Moving In and Growing Up and Having Fun

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Read Big Bad Thursday posts.

Last week, I talked about Bad and Jordan starting their new lease for a new apartment. I also talked about a job interview Bad had recently. Lastly, I talked about a double date my fiance Easy and I went on with them.

So, now for an update.

Their new apartment is great. It's so great that it has me re-thinking my anti-Hyde Park stance. I know moving there would do nothing to shorten my commute time to work, but it would be so great.

Their apartment is on the second floor of a walk-up in a great location (meaning relatively good parking for Hyde Park). The building has a courtyard that's so fantastic looking. They have a nice size bedroom and bathroom. Their kitchen has soooo much counter space. The closet is huge. And since Jordan is an interior designer/set designer, it will be amazingly set up as well.

Their neighbors are all really nice. I went over there the day they moved in to hang out and help set up a bit. While we were walking to and from the car, we could hear strains of jazz coming from the window of one of the neighbors. It felt like a montage scene from Love Jones.

Moving on to the next thing. Bad is still waiting to hear back from the job, but they have just completed their interview period. They told him they'd let him now yea or nay, so hopefully he'll hear something soon. I hope he gets this job because it would be more money and less stress. That can only make life easier for his relationship and his status as a grad student.

Also, Easy and I have spent more time with Bad and Jordan. I got engaged on Sunday and I told them when they came over to my parents' house for Memorial Day. We had a barbecue that grew larger as the list of attendees expanded.

They were excited to hear the news and really happy for us. Jordan was there not just as a guest, but also to work. She took a look around the first floor of the house and took notes and pictures and talked to my mom about what she wanted in terms of redecoration. I think she will come up with something great for the house. I tried to put in a good word to get her to fix the gold tiled fireplace first, but she said that wasn't the biggest concern.

Bad, Jordan, Easy, and I, along with one of my younger cousins, played the Wii. We played the Michael Jackson game and Rock Band 2. Good times. Hanging out and laughing together is good for the soul, you know?

My parents bought champagne and had each of us give a toast to the newly engaged couple (yay for us!), and I'm pretty sure I think Bad gave the best toast. It was a great moment because it really solidified in Easy's eyes how much Bad cares about me and my well-being.

I talk a lot about working on friendships with the girls of my close guy friends, but it's nice to be on the flip side of that and know that these two men who are both so important to me are working on a friendship themselves.

Oh and Jordan and Easy had each other cracking up. They have a pretty comparable sense of humor. If we move to Hyde Park, being near them will certainly be a big bonus.

I wish I had taken a video of Bad and Jordan doing the dance from one of the songs. I don't even remember which song it was, but she did the girl's part and he did the guy's part. They were just so cute!They'd kill me for saying this, but I can't wait til they have kids cause those kids are going to be gorgeous.

Just one more thing, I was so glad they were able to come over and really hang out with my family. Jordan's family lives in St. Louis and Bad's parents just moved to Florida. So having that family time is something not so easily accessed for them these days. Bad is already like a part of the family, and now it really feels like Jordan is too.

Lion's Life Saturday: Reaching Back The Hand of Friendship

***Lion is my best friend from college. He's a very focused young man working on getting his MD. This focus makes having a love life a very difficult undertaking. But he's making it happen somehow.***

Read Lion's Life Wednesday posts.

Last week, I talked about how both Lion and Rudy have big changes coming up in their life. I don't really have any specific updates about that, so I'll leave it alone for now.

But I've been talking a lot on Lion's day, and Sonny's day and Bad's day, how it is important to me to have working relationships with the women who are with my close guy friends. Those three men are some of my closest friends, and doing everything I can to ensure our friendship will be around for years to come is high priority.

This high priority feels very one-sided sometimes, so it's really nice when it feels like the thoughts and intentions and actions are reciprocated.

When Lion and I were down in Florida in April, Rudy was very nice to me. We've always been friendly (except when we first met, but that's a long story about an ex and a lap dance), but she went above and beyond last month. She was playing the perfect hostess even though I wasn't staying at her house. I really appreciated it and it made me that much more invested in her relationship with Lion.

Recently, she added another brick to the foundation of what I hope is a future genuine friendship. There have been a lot of storms around the Midwest. Not a whole lot right in the Chicago area, but the weather has been pretty crappy all around (seriously, 40-something at the end of May?).

Rudy sent me a text making sure I was doing okay and checking to make sure no one I knew was injured or harmed. It was such a sweet thing for her to do to reach out to me like that. Knowing that she's such a caring woman with a good head on her shoulders really has me wishing even harder that something shifts to allow for more of a possibility of a long-term relationship between her and Lion.

Okay, I'm done with my Rudy love fest. Hopefully next week, I'll have more to share about her move back home or his decisions on residency programs.

Big Bad Thursday: Moving and Double Dating And Growing Up

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Bad was back at the beginning of April. I think I've explained enough about the PC issues, so hopefully this is the last time you'll have to read it. I was talking about them looking for a new apartment and starting to muse on the next step for them in terms of living life] Read Big Bad Thursday posts.

Since that time, they still haven't moved. Bad extended his lease for one month to give them more time to apartment hunt. They did find a new apartment and they move in this weekend. I have this whole weekend off so I offered to help them move if they need it. Their new lease starts tomorrow! I can't wait to see their new place. I know it will be great. They both have such good taste.

By the end of this summer, both Bad and Jordan will be halfway done with their Master's programs I believe. It's a nice time to start to figure out what comes next. I wonder if they are planning a trip to San Diego to assess how it fits the two of them together.

Bad also had a job interview recently with a new company. The company isn't actually new, but it would be new to him. It would use the experience he's gained at his non-profit and be a big boost up the career ladder. And the best part is it's a national organization, so he wouldn't be tethered to Chicago if he gets this job. Here's hoping!

Also, on a more romantic note, my boyfriend Easy and I went on a double date with Bad and Jordan the last time Easy was in Chicago. We had so much fun. We went to the wine bar Bad, Jordan, and I all love (now Easy loves it too). It's called Vintage 338. If you live in Chicago and know your way around up north, you've got to go to this place.


After that, we went to The Wild Hare. They are closed now. When we went, it was the night before the last night. We danced and laughed and had a really good time. There was all type of hugging and kissing. The type that doesn't usually happen on a group outing, but since it was a double date, no one was ashamed of their PDA.


I tell you, I never thought I'd see the day when Bad and I were out at a club and there was all type of kissing, on the mouth!, happening out in public. But I guess that's what happens when you fall in love. Bad and Jordan were kissing and dancing and all that. Easy and I were doing the same near them on the dance floor. Seriously, had you told either Bad or myself sometime five years ago or so that we would spend our last night at Wild Hare that way, we wouldn't believe you. Never would we have believed it. But it happened. I have pictures as proof, but I didn't ask permission to post them, so sorry.

Big Bad Thursday: Finding A New Place To Live

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Bad was two weeks ago. In that post, I talked about how integration as a couple into each other's lives was relatively painless for Bad and Jordan (as far as I know) because all their people are in support of their relationship and them being together. I pointed out that even his extended family and friends, like my mom, were into it. I was very happy that they had this hurdle covered, or rather, it wasn't even a hurdle.] Read Big Bad Thursday posts.

This week, I want to talk about what's going on currently in their lives. First, I want to say the lunch with Jordan, my mom, and me went great! We all had fun and made plans to spend more time together in the future. She and my mom seemed to really click. Jordan doesn't have family here as far as I know, so I'm hoping she can begin to build those family-type relationships so while she's in Chicago (and when they come back to visit in years to come), she'll feel like she's coming to visit family, instead of just her guy's people.


But on to life right now. Their lease is up on their apartment this month. They've been apartment hunting, but as far as I know, they haven't found the perfect place yet. They were considering buying, but their loan officer lady had a bit of a family/personal crisis and it kind of put the brakes on that venture. So now they're looking to rent for a year, and save to possibly purchase next year.


Neither of them is committed to living out their lives in Chicago. They'd prefer to be somewhere warmer, as long as it had the right schools and career opportunities. Bad recently went to a conference for work/school in San Diego. And now San Diego is at the top of their list of places they could theoretically move to. But for now, they're looking in neighborhoods in Chicago that are near the lake, whether north or south. They also want it nearby things like restaurants, bars, clubs, etc. They want to enjoy what's left of their 20s and the convenience of not having to drive everywhere is starting to increase in priority. Right now, they're close to the lake, but that's it. They have to drive even for a run to the grocery store to buy a bottle of wine.


I'm hoping they find something fabulous, but as time runs out, their options get limited. I know they would never want to let their lease expire and have nowhere to live. I'm hoping that's not what happened. I love their current apartment, but Jordan smartly wants something with more space. I do wonder how all their stuff fits into those closets. They just have so little storage space. And the kitchen counter space is literally nonexistent. So there's ways to improve without breaking the budget. If they'll allow me to, I'll post up some pictures of their new apartment once they've chosen one.


Apartment hunting with the one you love has to be interesting unless you have completely identical tastes. Luckily, Bad and Jordan are both laid-back and only have a few non-negotiables each. that has to make life simpler.

Big Bad Thursday: Everyone Around You Supports You, Yay!

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***
Read Big Bad Thursday posts.


Last week, I linked to an article that sort of describe Bad and Jordan. I thought it pointed out an interesting trend that even though they were cohabitating, they weren't on the fast track towards marriage. At least, I don't think they are. They're focused more on enjoying each day and enjoying each other without always thinking about the logistics of where they stand and where they're going.


This week, I want to talk about integration. One of the hardest things to do when you're in a relationship is learning to mix and match your lives when you've got such active lives in existence before each other came along. Bad and Jordan both have full lives, so making an effort to combine those lives was probably no easy task.


Bad is a good friend and always there for his people. But spending time with friends at the drop of a hat isn't a priority anymore once you've made a commitment to someone, to living with them and sharing your lives. But Bad did good. He's with a woman who can roll with him. I would never think of inviting him to something and not inviting her too. Jordan is just a joy to be around and she is a perfect compliment to Bad, and she's great all by herself as well.


Because Bad chose very well in the woman he's partnered with, it makes it that much easier for the people in his world to join in in support of the relationship. I know of a couple (none of the ones I write about on this blog) who have difficulties when it comes to choosing where to celebrate holidays. Where ever then end up, it causes problems for the other person's family.


Bad and Jordan don't have that problem. They plan their celebrations around their own two schedules and then they work their families into it. I know they spent time with both her family and his over the Christmas/New Year's holiday, and I didn't hear anything about any struggles or feelings of neglect because both their families welcome their person's Significant Other (SO) with open arms.


A great example of this welcome is that Jordan is going out to lunch with my mother and me this afternoon. We're all meeting downtown to have lunch in the Walnut Room at Macy's. I mentioned before (maybe on my main blog) that my mom likes reaching out to people. My mom sees Bad as family, he's like an extra son to her in addition to Lion, so reaching out to Jordan is pretty much the same as her reaching out to my brother's fiancee.


I bet that having the approval and support of your friends and family makes things easier. It doesn't make the internal stuff of a relationship easier, but it has to help the overall stuff.

Big Bad Thursday: A Little Bit Married

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***
Read Big Bad Thursday posts.


Last week, I linked to a post that talked about housewarmings. I figured it was appropriate since Bad and Jordan are only a number of months into co-habitating. And they are planning on moving to a place with more space soon, so they have a lot of room to work with in terms of celebrating having a home together.


But I don't really have anything to update about their relationship right now. I will hopefully have something next week. I'm trying to get to go out with Easy and I and some of our friends for St. Patrick's Day. Observing them together as a couple always gives me something to blog about. And you tend to get more detailed updates when it is face to face.


But since I have nothing right now, I'm trolling the internet looking for something. Headed to Google to see what new links I can find. The question is what to Google? Bad and Jordan have been together for a while, and it doesn't seem like they're in any rush to get married. So I will google "dating, but no marriage in sight" and see what that gets me.


I thought I might get a whole bunch of self-help or whiny articles about women who were frustrated at not getting married, but I found a really interesting article. It's on CNN.com and it was posted up last June. It's an interview with a woman who wrote a book about couples who are "a little bit married." They have never tied the knot and yet they still make long-term life decisions around each other without the rush to the altar. You can read the article here.


I love this article, especially in terms of Bad and Jordan. I don't know what will happen with them and marriage, but I'm not too worried about it because it seems that they are good where they are. They have each decided the other person is the person they want to be with and they make life decisions together and with each other in mind. She moved to Chicago to be with him (and go to grad school), so they are the exact type of couple described in this article.


And this article does not pass judgement, it simply points out a trend. I'd be interested in reading this woman's book to further explore her reasoning she sees behind the trend other than financial independence and availability of birth control.

Big Bad Thursday: Growing Up And Growing Together

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***
Read Big Bad Thursday posts


I mentioned in a post on my main blog that Bad and Jordan came to this gig of Easy's last weekend. Jordan and my mom really hit it off, which makes me happy. I feel that it's important to the long-term prospects for my friendships with men that their women be integrated into the family as well. I really like Jordan because she's so sweet and fun, but if she likes me and my family and enjoys spending time with her, we may avoid that point in life where a couple pares down their friends to only their mutual friends. I don't know if Bad would ever do it, but embracing Jordan will help me make that cut just in case.


It's just something to think about as you get older. I love all my friends and would love for the folks I write about in this blog to still be my closest friends in a decade. Whether or not that's possible cannot be known. But that is the inspiration for today's hunt for a link. Bad and Jordan seem to be doing well blending their lives but still maintaining their own personalities.


A google search for "mixing friends in a relationship" yielded several things about business, but then I saw this cute website with stuff for couples called Q and A section for Couple Issues to see if anything stuck out. Something did. It was a question about housewarming parties.


Here is the question. The question was how late was too late to have a housewarming party. The answer was "no, six months isn't too late. But two years is."


Bad and Jordan have been living together since August, so they're right around 6 months now. They are still furnishing and decorating their apartment. And I'm pretty sure they are planning on moving somewhere else when Bad's lease is up in June. So maybe they shouldn't have a housewarming in this place if they'll be moving so soon and theoretically having a housewarming in that new place. I already have an idea in my head for a great gift, so I can't wait til they do this.


I just had a thought, what if they're waiting until the house they'll live in as a married couple? I hope they don't do that because I imagine they'll be homeowners before they're married, at least from the way Bad discusses real estate. Either way, the good news is they have a whole range (according to etiquette) about when they could have a housewarming.

Big Bad Thursday: You Are Committed, But That Doesn't Always Affect Those Around You

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***


Last week, I talked about an article from The Frisky. I didn't have much to say about what was going on in their relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love my drama-free couple. They just don't have constant changes and things in their relationship that would go into a blog. Being in grad school and working full time makes that happen. It's no biggie.


This week I have a story to tell that doesn't involve Bad and Jordan. This story is just about Bad. Which is totally okay since I pride this couple on having facts about each of them singly and not just facts about both of them as a couple.


The story about Bad is the type of story that happens to men when they are in committed relationships. Just because they've decided to be committed doesn't mean the women of the world get that and have agreed to make that commitment successful.


The story started like this, "I forgot what 24 was like." I agreed with him completely cause 24 year olds are... not 26 year olds. You will only get that if you have a very intact memory of the differences between who you were as 24 versus 26. But back to the story.


Bad had to go to this fundraiser party thing for work. He ended up there with two 24 year old women. They were there representing two women who are two of Bad's bosses. Anyways, Bad is charming and good looking and tends to attract more than his fair share of women. Apparently, these two decided they were part of that share.


As lyrics from "One More Drink" played in his mind, he informed the ladies he wasn't available for them to fight over that night. They chose not to listen to him. So while Bad was representing his company at the event, he was also dealing with these two chicks. Bad and I are close enough where he would tell me the whole true story, and I'm glad it ended well since I'm blogging about it.


Here's how it turned out. Even though it was an open bar and Bad took full advantage of it, he still maintained to the women that they didn't have a chance for him. I love when the important men in my life are men that can be counted on. Even though Jordan wasn't with him, she had nothing to worry about.


Bad recounts the event in a way that shows he was flattered by the attention. Even though he and Jordan lead lives that can be separated, he doesn't spend much social time without her. This evening was like a yeah-I-still-got-it moment. A guy (heck a person) needs that every so often. And he got flattered and then went home to the woman he loves.


I hope every story I'll ever tell about him ends that way.

Tip Top Tuesday: Multiple Stories That Would Only Happen To An Independent Single Girl

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Top was back at the beginning of February. I discussed how men from her past just won't stay away. The latest was a resurgence of CG He was making all the rookie mistakes when wooing a woman who's just not that into you. But he had changed his tactics and was giving it another shot. Top was trying to figure out how to get him to be done with her once and for all, without being a complete jackass about it. That is easier said than done. In today's post, I'll follow up on that, but first I have other stories to tell.] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

So I mentioned in Friday's post about Michelle how Bad's friend Mellow had an encounter with Top before Michelle. I figured I'd tell that story here now. Top and I had planned out a pretty good evening. It made us feel like we were being adults. I think we were circling 24. Maybe she was already and I wasn't yet.


Bad decided to join us and he brings his close friend who I always had fun with named Mellow. Bad is almost exactly my age, but Mellow had just made 21, so he didn't quite fit Top's idea of what being grown-up looked like. But the four of us were out there nonetheless. Good food, good live music, seats at the bar, two attractive men joining us to keep us company. And then the flirting began.


For a while I thought it might go somewhere, but it didn't. There was just flirting. A few times, Mellow closed in on Top's personal space and she shut that down. But we still kept a festive mood and we all had a great time that night. At the end of the night, there was no exchange of phone numbers, definitely no incriminating photos, and no super sexy dances. But Top did mention that she thought he would be pretty desirable if he weren't so obviously a fresh 21.


Moving on to the next story, another guy from the past popped up while I was in St. Louis. This dude has it bad for Top. I think of him as waste-of-potential-guy, so his name will be Wop Guy. Looks, background, personality, but somehow it doesn't add up to a date-able guy. At least not when it comes to Top. But he calls her not too long ago to tell her that he's in love with her. They've never been a couple or had any involvement that lasted more than a few months here and there over the years. To Top, that means he couldn't possibly be in love and is projecting onto her.


How did that turn out? Well, we spent a while on the phone trying to figure out the best way to let him know they weren't ever going to be involved ever again. Before she could do that, he pleaded his case, accused her of being unfair, and threw a pretty classic tantrum. But then Top let him know that she wasn't interested and wasn't going to be interested.


How did he take it? He offered his willingness to relocate and wanted to come visit NYC to show her how things could be before she gives up. They went back and forth until Top just gave up and got off the phone. So Wop Guy will be back. Even though Top has decided they will no longer be friends, he will be back. Back to bring laughter into my life. Hopefully not for at least a few months. But who knows. "Love" makes you do crazy things.

And moving on to the update of the last post. The CG (college guy) man was plotting on her uterus and advising her about adoption, birth control pills, and other things one shouldn't discuss with a women he isn't even dating. He also needed to be told that Top wasn't interested. She just attracts the most persistent guys. It's kind of funny. Well, it's very funny. If only these guys knew how embarrassed they should be for their behavior, I'm sure they would act differently.


This CG man is out. Top hasn't spoken to him. I guess he crossed a line criticizing her life choices while spouting bullshit about his open-mindedness towards her free-spirit nature. That means whenever he calls again, they will have "the talk". Hopefully CG is a better listener than Wop Guy. Because I don't want Top to have to deal with this Rolodex of men who can't take a hint. Even when you're saying, "I'm Not Interested In Dating You".


Other things happened, but this post is getting super long, so I'll just write about it next week. It's like a soap opera cliffhanger. Well, not really.

Big Bad Thursday: A Tip For Those Planning On Forever

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***


Last week I talked about Bad and Jordan's Valentine's Day. There really isn't anything new to report that I know of. So I'm headed to The Frisky to see what they have to say about a co-habitating couple that isn't doing a countdown to a wedding or even a proposal.


This article I found isn't at romantic, but it's appropo for any relationship Bad is involved in. And I think it's sound advice since marriage is where Bad and Jordan are headed eventually.


Cash & Coupling: Seriously, Ladies, Get A Damn Prenup!


If Bad saw that title, he'd be more concerned about how a prenup would protect him, not her. He's said numerous times over the years that we've been friends that there's no way he'd ever get married without a prenup. His stance on it tends to come off as the pessimistic cynical statement most people worry a prenup lends itself to.


And yes, you can blame his parents. I'm not getting into it here, but it's their fault he feels so much of a need to protect himself before getting married. Don't just to conclusions, his parents are married and happily co-habitating in the same house.


But about this article. It's pretty interesting, right? I think that if Jordan ever had hesitations about whether she wanted a prenup with Bad, this might help convince her that it's an amazing idea. I know he's already convinced.


For the record, I think these two are great together and I can't imagine them with anyone else. So their prenup would be collecting dust in the file cabinet of some lawyer, only to be noticed when the will next to it gets pulled out in 65 years whenever one of them passes. Yes, I'm a hopeless romantic, but that's just my realistically optimistic way of looking at things.


And I really like how this article doesn't get too preachy. It lays out the facts and offers tips on how to make it work. But like I said, Jordan wouldn't need those tips, Bad is already on the prenup train. Now, if only they'd get engaged, this article would make even more sense.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: A Story From Recent History

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Michelle was back close to the New Year. I was giving an update on Terrence. At that point, he had just disappeared into thin air for a couple of days. It was to sort things out with that crazy chick without Michelle clouding his mind. It was a fucked up thing for him to do and it really hurt Michelle. I'll explain (not this week) what happened next with that. It ain't pretty.] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

But for this week, I will talk about something more fun. Random flirting beats depressing involvement with an ex any day!

I forgot I never did tell the story about Michelle picking up one of Bad's friends the night we all went out for New Year's Eve.

I've already explained in various posts here and on my main blog how amazing New Year's was for Michelle and I.

Instead of spending the night watching The Blind Side drinking our respective hot cocoa or egg nog, we were out having tapas and dancing the night away.

But Michelle had even more fun than I did. While I was e-mailing Easy, thinking how much I wish I had a spare $600 to hop a plane to Spain, she was making a new friend.

This friend is one of Bad's best friends who's been around for years. We'll call him Mellow.

A lot of the time I've spent around him is from an era before Bad and Jordan were committed and exclusive, so I didn't really bring around a whole bunch of my friends, since it was just "friends of Bad" hanging out.

But there are moments when it's just Bad, Mellow, and I. I didn't want that because for a long time, Mellow and I weren't... close. When we're at Bad's house, whatever.

But when out on the town, gotta have backup. So one night, Top comes out with the three of us. Or rather, Bad brings Mellow to a night out that Top and I already had planned.

The point is, the four of us end up there together. There was an interesting dynamic. Something off to the left of a double date. I'll explain that in a post about Top so I can get back to Michelle.

The point is on NYE, I saw that same vibe between Michelle and Mellow, except it was just the two of them.

There was his cousin and me, who were both behaving like single chicks trying to stay that was for the night.

Bad and Jordan were doing the couple thing. And there were the two of them.

I'm not even sure who started flirting first, but suddenly, they were posing for pictures with their faces pressed all close together. It looked a lot like Michelle with Lion's cousin during our birthday weekend actually. I don't know if I've told that story or not.

But back to Mellow. They were dancing and flirting the night away. They seemed genuinely attracted to each other, but I'm not sure what the purpose was of all the interaction when he was just headed back to Florida in a couple days and neither one had the resources (and one of them didn't have the will) to have a one night stand.

But it became clearer. After we were all headed home, Bad texts me to say Mellow wants Michelle's number. I ask if I can give her his too. I ask her if it's cool, then we make the numbers exchange. Then I head to bed because I do not care for a while what happened next.

It turns out they texted back and forth, flirted some more, made plans to see each other before he left town, then both flaked.Sounds like they both wanted someone to flirt in the New Year with.

Michelle knows that since we've become closer, that closeness includes time with Bad and Jordan (who she loves), but who are in a solid happy relationship (which she lives with). Having a built in-flirty-boo-type is probably a good idea for her.

Mellow is probably just happy I brought a friend around who was closer to his age so there's a chance she won't treat him like a cute puppy while he's putting on the moves.

If you look at my recap from the last post, Terrence is still in the picture. There are updates with him, but I just wanted to talk about something fun this week. This shit with him is pretty depressing. I'll talk about it next Friday.

Big Bad Thursday: A Sweet And Simple Valentine's Day

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Bad was back at the beginning of the year. It was a recap of Bad and Jordan's Christmas and New Year's Eve. Oh, how I wish I had taken a picture of their adorable Christmas tree with the lights and the one ornament! But yeah, NYE was a great time. They had fun together as a couple and managed to save my and Michelle's NYEs too.] Read Big Bad Thursday posts

After New Year's, it was pretty much back to the grind for the two of them. They are both working (in charge of people, so that's added stress) and in grad school. But all is happy on the home front.

Since it's that time of year, of course I will be talking about how they spent their Valentine's Day. Three words: dinner, wine, fondue.

They had a lovely dinner which was romantic and full of good food. I tell you, whenever they get married, that is one reception dinner I am definitely looking forward to. Those two love good food.

The wine I'm excited about since I know Bad has a well-rounded taste for wine, but Jordan has a slightly different palate for wine. I know they came up with something great.

And the fondue, well that just sounds sexy. Whether it was for dinner or dessert, I know it was a great experience. Nothing better than playing with your food!

Bad and Jordan had the V-Day I expected them to have. Romantic, simple, drama-free. I can't wait to see how normal their kids turn out to be. Of course, if either of them heard me say that, they'd freak out, lol.

Noni's Stargazing Saturday: A New Year's Spent Looking To The Future

***Noni is one of my really good friends from college. We were even roommates for a year and some change. But she's done with school (for now). She's starting a family with a baby boy and working on herself and her relationship at the same time. Things won't always be easy, but they're usually always interesting.***

Quick Recap [In my last post about Noni, which was three weeks ago, I expressed concern for Noni that the improvements in her relationship with Eric had basically gone away again. I wasn't exactly surprised, but I had been hoping that things would have improved for her. She works so hard to keep their home and kid together, I was just hoping that he would help her out more.] Read Stargazing Saturday posts.

Since that time, some interesting changes have occurred with Noni.

She's on the precipice of a full-blown quarter life crisis.

Pretty much all my friends have been through this around their 25th birthday. I may write a blog post about it on my main blog.

I want to tell a quick story about Noni from college.

She was dating this guy in our group of friends and they had a series of what should have been epic crashes and burns.

But over the years they were involved, they never actually officially ended things.

One day, she just decided she was done. She gathered her things and left.

She did this while he was away from the apartment. And she never looked back.

They are friends now (years later), but they will never again be romantically involved.

That was then.

At this point in her life, with this roller coaster she's on with Eric, she's considering gathering her things and leaving him.

Without warning. Just deciding to be done and leaving.

Things are more complicated now though. They have a son together. She's about to start back at school Monday after next.

This feeling she's been having reads a lot like a quarter life crisis. Her 25th birthday is in May.

For Noni, this could be a quarter life crisis, or more of the same. But that doesn't matter.

What matters is she is finally starting to realize that if your long-term happiness in a relationship depends on the person you're with changing, something is wrong.

After a pretty detailed discussion, I found out that things are still good with Eric. Sometimes.

But there are times when things are so frustrating that she just wants to gather her things and leave.

I told her about how Bad and Jordan are my drama free couple and she and Eric are my roller coaster couple.

I told her that I felt that even if she did leave Eric, her next relationship would be just as dramatic.

She agreed that she is drawn to the feeling of being with a person who is unpredictable and can't be controlled.

She likes a man who is his own person and is a bit mysterious.

The only problem is guys like that stay that way. Even in the middle of a serious relationship, they stay unpredictable.

They become the guy you can't count on for consistency. They are the guy you fight with and then make up with several times a month.

Noni would like to find the one guy who starts out unpredictable and then magically become dependable and consistent.

So after all of that, what happens now?

Well, for now, the good still outweighs the bad.

Noni doesn't like the constant drama with Eric. At least not as often as it happens.

She doesn't like fighting with him about him doing things that should come natural to a grown-up raising two kids.

But she's staying. She's expecting to reach that point of no return where he comes home to find all her stuff gone.

She wants more than what Eric is offering. Well, she wants what he is offering, but not what he actually delivers.

She just still has hope that one day things will turn around for them.

She still loves him and wants things to work out so she and the man she loves can raise the child they made together.

I don't know where they are going from here. I know they are still together.

I do find myself wondering how he feels about all this. Is he as frustrated with their relationship? Is he feeling that they are near their end?

But I'm not friends with Eric. I'm friends with Noni. So I guess those questions will never be answered.

Big Bad Thursday: Bringing In The New Year Like Every Couple Should

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Quick Recap [My last post was about a month ago. I was saying how much I love that they are the drama free couple in my life. I also briefly discussed their plans for Christmas and New Year's Eve.] Read Big Bad Thursday posts

They are still my drama free couple. They're just happy and enjoying their relationship.

I wonder if people who always have some type of drama going on really prefer it that way.

Well Bad and Jordan ended up spending Christmas together in the Chicago area at Bad's parents' house.

Jordan was going to go home to St. Louis, but she ended up having to work, so she couldn't leave.

Since they were going to spend Christmas together, they got a Christmas tree.

I liked their lights they had on the tree, but they only had one ornament, which was hilarious.

They have this plan now where each time they have a special thing happen, they'll get an ornament for it.

So for vacations, special events (like at some point whenever they get engaged), etc., they will have an ornament for that occasion.

I love that idea because I always see these really cute commemorative ornaments, but I hardly ever see them on anyone's tree.

They went down to St. Louis the week between Christmas and New Year's for a couple of days, but it was a very short trip.

We did all end up spending New Year's Eve together. It was a lot of fun. Tapas, champagne, dancing.

They are such a cute couple, and so much fun to be around.

I love hanging out with Bad and Jordan, but I don't necessarily want to be the third wheel all the time, so I usually bring a friend with me.

When we grabbed lunch on Christmas Eve, Top was with us. The four of us had a blast.

And when we went ouf for New Year's Eve, Michelle was with us.

Michelle definitely had a good time. She picked up one of Bad's best friends who was in town for the holiday.

Well, they picked each other up. I'll tell that story on Friday.

But Bad and Jordan are just so much fun to be out with. We ended up at Leg Room at the end of the night to dance and have a couple more drinks.

They are the type of couple who can be out dancing without any hints of jealousy or craziness.

While Bad was off getting us drinks, we were all just dancing with random guys who came up to dance with us.

And while Jordan, Michelle, and I were joking about needing to come up with a "I'm done with this guy, get him away from me" signal, the guys came back and we just started dancing with them.

I doubt the situation would have gone as smoothly if I had been out with Noni and Eric. I'm just saying...

Tip Top Tuesday: A Plan For A Man Who Isn't Like The Others

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Last week, I was talking about Dan, who had made the fatal mistake that every guy Top dates (or never actually dates) eventually makes.

They decide they want this big grand relationship. Out of nowhere usually.

This comes after Top has expressed from the beginning that she's just not interested in anything super serious.

She has recently come up with a plan to avoid this craziness.

She's now looking for an older man.

She's already said she'd be interested in dating an older man because they would hopefully have lived long enough to avoid some of the constant mistakes men in their 20s make.

She's hoping with more experience behind him, a man age 35-45 will have learned to let people be themselves without projecting what you think onto them.

She described this guy for me. He sounds pretty great.

I need a more experienced guy. We can have like a mentorship/friendship/romantic thing. Nothing too serious. No marriage. He has his own space, I have mine.

He's educated, successful, talented, gives back, cultured, enjoys travel, and trying new things.

Hopefully his experience would have taught him a level of acceptance of people and to suspend the "fantasy fairytale" of who people should be and how they should live.
The last part is something I keep running into, so that's a must. He'll be older, so he can teach me some things about work and life.

My guy can even be divorced;  I can work with that.

So where will she find such a guy since she doesn't already know one like that?

Bad suggested she go to the Tribeca Film Festival in the spring in NYC. He said she's bound to meet a guy like that there.

I told her to go to a squash court at a gym. I honestly couldn't think of anything better.

This is new for Top. It's not like she's suddenly pursuing a man after 26 years of never really doing it.

It's just that she's considering placing herself specifically where she thinks she can find the type of man she wants.

This should be interesting to watch and see what happens.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Bringing In The New Year Family Style

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Gloria was forever ago. I wasn't trying to neglect my girl, but I have rarely had time to write a full post on a Monday. But that last post was about Gregory, her boyfriend. I just did a quick background of how they started dating and the particulars of their basic history. They each have a little boy and the other parent of their sons each has another son. And they are ready to move on to the next phase of their life.] Read Romantic Monday posts.

Gregory and Gloria have spent the last month or so discussing the serious possibilities of how they are going to make the rest of their lives work just the way they want.

They intend on getting married in the near future.

I thought they might beat Sonny and Cher down the aisle, but now I'm thinking they might not.

Gloria wants to have a traditional engagement even if they don't have a big fancy wedding.

That pushes things back because Gregory has to get her a ring, and he wants to get her a nice ring.

They are also discussing things like where they will live and how they will combine their families.

Gloria wants to move away from Chicago.

Gregory is okay with that plan, but he can't leave the Chicago area for at least another fifteen months.

So, it looks like they are at least on a fifteen month plan before they can start the life they've agreed they want.

But, they are still living in today's time and working on building their relationship and being happy together.

They spent a nice New Year's Eve together, at home, together. Well, they were at Gloria's home.

But Gloria, Gregory, and her son brought in the New Year together. It's actually the exact way I'd expect someone with a small child to celebrate the holiday.

Gloria and Gregory aren't as drama free as Bad and Jordan are, but their drama doesn't suggest that they may break up any day.

Their drama is more about regular life and how it may negatively impact their love life. But they are a strong couple and can handle it together.

Big Bad Thursday: Drama Free Is Their Signature Style

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Bad was at the beginning of last month. It was mostly just a status update because things are going well for them. They have a happily drama-free relationship] Read Big Bad Thursday posts

Since my last post, not much has changed. I love that Bad and Jordan are my drama free friends. No crazy fights, no suspicion of breaking up around every turn. They are an inspiration.

But being drama free doesn't make them boring. They go out and they definitely are fun to be around.

Something else I love about them is that they can be separate from each other. Unlike Sonny and Cher, I see Bad without Jordan. They are still their own people.

Bad has finished his school semester or quarter rather. Jordan's semester will be done soon. So now they are working on holiday plans. She's going back to St. Louis to spend Christmas with her family. I believe he's staying here in the Chicago area with his family.

But New Year's Eve, they will be together. Hopefully, they'll be with me and my friends, but I guess we'll see.