Monday, February 28, 2011

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Knowing He's The One

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Last week, I talked about Gloria's Valentine's Day with Gregory. There wasn't much to that. But I did get to spend a whole day almost hanging out with Gloria last week and so I got a more in depth view to how she viewed her relationship.

She agrees with me that you don't need years to figure out you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. Makes me feel less like a crazy person for my feelings about Easy. But enough about me. Gloria does indeed feel that Gregory is the guy for her and the man she wants to marry and spend the rest of her life with.

That's not new news; I've discussed it in the blog before. But this was the deepest insight I got into it. Not only does Gloria feel like Gregory is the right one. He's The One. And she's already convinced that if things didn't work out between them, she'd just be done. She would give up and date no more.

I told her that was dramatic because she was only 25. And people start over at ages like 50 and 60, so 25 or 30-ish wasn't so terrible. But she explained that she just couldn't imagine going through the work of finding someone who could even possibly make her feel anything like Gregory made her feel. He landed in her lap without much effort and actually looking, really looking, for that person, would be unbearable.

Well, that sentiment I understood. When things with a person are so much easier and better than you ever thought possible, it's hard to imagine going to back to how it's been with everyone else. Work, drama, and the payoff isn't as intense.

So the question is what comes next? Deciding to spend the rest of your life is was easier than planning. Where will you live? When will you get married? What about kids? What happens if you can't pursue both people's dreams at the same time? Gloria and Gregory don't agree on the answers to all those (and other) questions. But they have agreed to find the answers together.

Even though I had a lot to write in this post, I still wanted to link to an online article that might help. I googled "he's the one" and the very first link was a WikiHow article entitled How To See If He's The One. I find some of these a bit ridiculous (I have a bad memory, sue me), but I will see how they match up with what I know about Gloria and Gregory. I want to warn that there is a lot of paraphrasing coming.

Step 1: Naturally Remember Important Dates  Um, Gloria did just tell me she doesn't know their anniversary, but that's because they don't actually have an official day. I'm gonna give half credit for that because she knows his birthday.

Step 2: No Pressure To Become Intimate This may not be the best judge cause Gloria isn't a prude with some icky three month rule about sex. But, no Gregory didn't pressure her before she was ready. This counts.

Step 3: Do You Compliment Even When He's Not His Best Oh yeah, she does this. He was growing his hair for a reason I won't repeat here. Everyone knows there is a rough patch whenever you grow your hair out, male or female or black or white, it's just rough for a while. He has no idea how rough it was for her to have to look at him and swear he looked good during that time.

Step 4: Are Your People Liking Him All of Gloria's people like Gregory. Except, of course, Rufus, her son's father. Meeting him was a joy for all the people, family, friends, offspring.

Step 5: Who Wins The "I Love You" Game I don't know if she initiates saying I love you a lot. That is some lovey dovey crap that we don't talk about. I guess I could ask her or whatever. They get a maybe.

Step 6: Talk About The Future Without Prompting Yes, they talk about their future without having it forced upon them.

Step 7: Do You Want To Exchange Keys If she lived alone, he would totally have a key. They don't spend that much time at his place, so she doesn't have a key. But they talk about living together. Some people move in for the money benefits. They only live apart because of money issues. I'll give them a half.

Step 8: Comfortable Being Completely Yourself This one's easy. Yes.

Step 9: When He Thinks You're Not Listening, Does He Still Say Great Things I don't know about this one. They get a maybe.

Step 10: Is He Controlling? Cause If So, Run! Gregory isn't the controlling type. He would never try to tel Gloria what to do. I'm sure he's sure that would be one the worst decisions he could ever make.

After all of that, they ended up with two maybes, six positive answers and six half positive answers. Not bad I'd say. Especially considering, I don't know the whole story about the all the answers. I'm so doing this quiz for Easy and I on my main blog.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Sonny's Sunday: A Slice of Life As An Engaged Couple

***Sonny is an old friend of mine. We went to elementary, middle, and high school together. He's also my friend who's doing the super-adult thing. He and his new fiancee Cher just bought a house. They're working on planning a life together. Even with all that stability, their love life is still interesting.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Sonny was two weeks ago. In that post, I was relaying what I knew about their wedding plans. There was not much to report. They really haven't been able to nail down the details of their upcoming nuptials. But they have been having other life changes which I didn't post about, but I will now.] Read Sonny's Sunday posts.

Sonny quit his job. He just gathered his shit and left because he couldn't take it anymore. He's currently studying for the GRE and choosing which grad schools to apply to. And he's also searching for a new job. What possessed him to quit his job? Well, Cher recently got a job that paid twice what his job did. So they went from one income and surviving to one income that is double what they used to have. Their mortgage and financial obligations are being handled.

That being said, the dynamic in the house has shifted because now Cher is the breadwinner. It's made for some interesting new developments in their arguments. I'm not going to get into specifics, but let's just say things end worse for Sonny than they have in previous arguments. I hope he gets a job soon so his joblessness doesn't get tosses at him like an insult meant to bring him down.

Here's the most interesting thing: two weeks ago, I posted about upcoming wedding plans, but right around that time, they called the wedding off. Literally two days after he's sharing with me the plans, he was saying they weren't getting married. I felt like there was no way they could not get married. No one else wants either of them. Plus, they have a mortgage. Those aren't good reasons to stay, but they're certainly good reasons not to walk away hastily.

After the fight was sorted out, they were back on track. But I do wonder what Cher thinks Sonny tells me about their relationship. I'm all for presenting a united front in public, but not a bullshitty one. They picked me up from the train the last time I came back from St. Louis. I thought it was going to be just Sonny. We were supposed to go for coffee and he was gonna talk (vent) out his issues. Kind of pressing reset on his wound up emotions. But that didn't happen. Cher was, for whatever reason, not at work and out with him for the day.

They talked of their upcoming wedding, the Chicago elections that day, and his plans for grad school. I didn't mention that they had recently called things off and neither did they. I guess it's something we'll keep pretending doesn't happen. In public, Sonny and Cher do not have huge fights that lead to weddings being called off, phones needing to be replaced, and holes in the wall.

Moving on. The reason they have so many wedding details not yet figured out is because Disney only takes reservations one year in advance. They are going to pick some tentative dates in June and at the first available date (one year in advance), they will make their reservations and get things underway.

There will be a lot to do. They have to figure out pricing for their wedding guests, they have to finalize their wedding party, pick food, flowers, etc. It will be a lot of work. But they really can't sort anything else out until they've made their reservations and picked a wedding package. Like I said, I'm really looking forward to a Disney cruise boat wedding. I just recently saw a commercial for the Disney Cruise Line. I'm going to have so much fun on that cruise!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Noni's Stargazing Saturday: Dismantling A Roller Coaster

***Noni is one of my really good friends from college. We were even roommates for a year and some change. But she's done with school (for now). She's starting a family with a baby boy and working on herself
and her relationship at the same time. Things won't always be easy, but they're usually always interesting.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Noni was back in the first half of January. I talked a bit about a toxic relationship Noni had in college and I compared that to her relationship with Eric. They have tumultuous ups and downs, earning the title of my "Roller Coaster Couple".  I talked about how around the new year, Noni was considering leaving Eric. She ultimately decided against leaving him because she wasn't ready to take such a big step only to take it back. She wanted to be sure. I was saying I felt like she was on the precipice of a full-blown quarter life crisis.] Read Stargazing Saturday posts.

Since that time, Noni has been super busy. She's still with Eric and they are still raising their son and living their life. They don't spend all their time working. I know this because the were at a dinner party last weekend. How grown up of them, right?

Well, I unfortunately cannot report on their Valentine's Day because I don't know how it went. Like I said, Noni has been super busy.  But I can find another blog post with interesting info that would relate to their relationship and focus on that for the week.

But before I get to that, I want to talk more about Noni's impending quarter life crisis. I don't know that she's definitely going to have one. I think she may even be too busy to have one. But I want to go on record saying right now that I hope is she does hit age 25 and fully freak out, that it won't be too terrible. She has a son to think about. That little boy goes a long way in keeping her sane and from making rash decisions. That is my prediction for this May and the six months after it.

Now, on to The Frisky. I'm heading to their parenting section. I can honestly say I've never clicked that button before. Noni and Gloria are the only two in The Medley who have children, so while I may spend more time there in the future, I won't be making a habit of it. Easy and I are years from kids, so that button has third party purposes only.

Here are some interesting articles I found (disclaimer: it's hard to find parenting articles that bother to include reference to the romance between mommy and daddy):
Miranda Kerr: I Intend To Breastfeed For As Long As I Can
Gwyneth Paltrwo Opens Up About Post Partum Depression
Do You Have A Backup Baby Daddy?
Why I'm Happy I Don't Have Daughters

I chose the first article because Noni breastfeeds. For how long she intends to, I don't know.
I chose the second article because it's something that she and I never discussed, but I always thought was a possibility because of how horrible things went for her around the time her son was first born.
I chose the third article because it asks an interesting question. From some perspectives, her involvement with Eric was timed as such that he was the backup for the toxic relationship for college.
I chose the fourth article because Noni only has the son and I've never heard her say she can't wait to have a daughter.

So which one to focus on... I choose... Door #...3! It's the only that gives me a chance to speculate on the state of Noni's and Eric's relationship. Haven't you noticed that's the point of this blog anyway? The actual Frisky article is single women sharing who their baby daddies would be if they, for whatever reason, were still single and the biological clock was approaching the 12th hour.

After things went south with toxic college relationship guy, she was alone for a very short period of time before she and Eric got going. And one they got going, things sped up pretty quick. We all know that just because you start something with a new person doesn't mean things are resolved with the old person. I think in a way, Noni saw Eric as a better alternative than the situation she just left.

Imagine if the women in that article also happened to be attracted and interested in dating the men whose genes they covet? That article would be titled "How I Ended Up Having A Child Out Of Wedlock With The Guy Who Was Supposed To Be My Backup". Well, maybe not, but I think there's a possibility of that being what happened between Eric and Noni.

There was a period in their relationship where so much of it was being compared with their recent pasts. He had just broken up with the mother of his older son. That baby was about 6 months old when Eric and Noni got going. Noni had just left toxic college relationship guy. When you have the influence of your past so heavily involved, it's hard to focus on what's right in front of you.

I don't know whether or not that has anything to do with Eric and Noni's roller coaster relationship. But I wouldn't be surprised if it did.

A Blog Introduction

I already write two blogs. The first one is A Researcher of Life, which is basically a personal blog that talks about my life that I'm trying to build for myself in my 20s. The second one is My Life's Love Medley, which is a lovely amalgamation of the love lives of 8 of my closest friends.

So why do I need a third blog? I'm not sure I do. This may end up being absorbed into my main blog, the narcissistic one, in a few posts because I find I have not enough to say to fill an entirely separate blog. But for now, I feel that I have enough to say about the world around me to fill a separate blog.

I feel pretty often like writing a blog post about Egypt/Tunisia/Bahrain/Libya or Chicago's mayoral race or Obama's stance on gay marriage. I also want to write about books I read, like Spousonomics and all the Charles Dickens classics. And yes, I even want to write about the upcoming announcement of the next cast of Dancing With The Stars.

But I feel like writing about that on my other blogs would take time away from something else I love discussing: me and my friends. Talk of Easy and my nonexistent career are consuming that blog. So I need somewhere else to talk about politics and economics and the media and the weather.

That is what I hope this new blog will be. Will anyone bother reading it? I don't know. I do know I don't have the desire to go searching on the web for people who are interested in reading the types of things I like to say. That's why my first two blogs only get a couple hundred reads per month. But that doesn't matter. Because I have things to be said. And I'm far too wordy for Twitter.

So begins Rants About The Real World. I may split up the days based on the different topics I may want to discuss, but for now, I'll just let it be and see what comes pouring out of my mind on a variety of subjects. Check it out if you'd like. At least for the week I'm promising to give it before deleting it and absorbing it into the other blog.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Another Story, Another Fuck Up

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Last week, I told an interesting story about Michelle from New Year's Eve in an effort to avoid talking about Terrence. I'd love to avoid it again by linkng to some article from The Frisky, but there is information about her love life that I need to go ahead and post about so it's done and recorded.

I wrote a post about Darren being out of the picture back in December. I was glad to welcome in Terrence because Darren had been so terrible. What he put Michelle through was very similar to what happened between Easy and I back in August, but they were very unlikely to have a happy ending.

Believe it or not, the same thing has happened with Terrence. Seriously, the same thing. He had this other chick he was talking to because he and Michelle were not exclusive. But in the meantime, he was talking to Michelle about the future he saw himself having with her. He expressed to her that if she were into it, they could be together and be so happy and blah blah blah.

Terrence told Michelle he wanted a girlfriend. He didn't want to be the only guy in his Army unit without a girlfriend/fiancee/spouse. While she was considering entering a long-term relationship with this guy and weighing the pros and cons, things didn't end well.  I wrote a post at the beginning of last month about what happened with that. Long story short, he had a girlfriend, he didn't, he expressed an interest in sorting things out with my girl Michelle.

So what happened next? Well, he was full of shit! He didn't have a girlfriend then, but he has one now. That other chick is his girlfriend. After expressing some seriously nutty behavior, he decided that she wasn't crazy per se, she was just crazy for him.

He didn't even tell Michelle he had made this decision with the other girl. He just disappeared. I mean, he had already headed back to his unit, but he was suddenly unable to be reached. And then there was the unfortunate repeat performance of her seeing on Facebook that he was now in a relationship.

So now... they are just friends. Or something horrible like that. And Terrence has a girlfriend. And it's not Michelle. Boy do I know how she feels. Man after man comes to her and tells her all these wonderful things. And even though she fights against the possibility, as soon as she begins to consider it, the rug is pulled from beneath her and they turn out to be full of shit.

And it really sucks that this happened so soon. A guy she was kind of into doing it sucks. A guy that she has loved for years doing the same thing only a month later is even worse. But Michelle is resilient and she will bounce back.

It will be interesting to see exactly how she does that though. She has complained about how there's no one of worth to date or whatever else in Charleston. But she recently decided to stay another year. Yes, Michelle will graduate with her Bachelor's Degree in May, but then she will join a one year Master's Program and stay until May 2012.

I don't know what that means for her love life. But she certainly gets into enough situations even with that fact of graduating soon. But now you know the whole basic story with Terrence, and hopefully we won't hear much about him for a while.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Big Bad Thursday: A Tip For Those Planning On Forever

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Last week I talked about Bad and Jordan's Valentine's Day. There really isn't anything new to report that I know of. So I'm headed to The Frisky to see what they have to say about a co-habitating couple that isn't doing a countdown to a wedding or even a proposal.

This article I found isn't at romantic, but it's appropo for any relationship Bad is involved in. And I think it's sound advice since marriage is where Bad and Jordan are headed eventually.

Cash & Coupling: Seriously, Ladies, Get A Damn Prenup!

If Bad saw that title, he'd be more concerned about how a prenup would protect him, not her. He's said numerous times over the years that we've been friends that there's no way he'd ever get married without a prenup. His stance on it tends to come off as the pessimistic cynical statement most people worry a prenup lends itself to.

And yes, you can blame his parents. I'm not getting into it here, but it's their fault he feels so much of a need to protect himself before getting married. Don't just to conclusions, his parents are married and happily co-habitating in the same house.

But about this article. It's pretty interesting, right? I think that if Jordan ever had hesitations about whether she wanted a prenup with Bad, this might help convince her that it's an amazing idea. I know he's already convinced.

For the record, I think these two are great together and I can't imagine them with anyone else. So their prenup would be collecting dust in the file cabinet of some lawyer, only to be noticed when the will next to it gets pulled out in 65 years whenever one of them passes. Yes, I'm a hopeless romantic, but that's just my realistically optimistic way of looking at things.

And I really like how this article doesn't get too preachy. It lays out the facts and offers tips on how to make it work. But like I said, Jordan wouldn't need those tips, Bad is already on the prenup train. Now, if only they'd get engaged, this article would make even more sense.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: Enough About The Mystery Man, Completely Single Is Better

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Camille was back at the beginning of January. I was still looking forward to there being more do to about this mystery man Camille's classmate told her about. Well, since that time, I've heard nothing of this mystery man. So I'm shelving his existence until something more develops.] Read Wishful Wednesday posts.

There needs to be more to Camille's love life than the possibility of a man. Although, I did meet one of Easy's friends who I think might be pretty great for her. He's awesome and seems to have no bum-tendencies. Not that Camille dates bums, she just doesn't seem to attract the right element all on her own. I mean the butcher? Law school guy?

If I'm going to set Camille up, it's going to be a long setup. I haven't even mentioned this guy to her, though I did mention him to Gloria. I'd rather just get to know both of them and their interests in the opposite sex, see if they match up, and then have a dinner party and invite them both to see if there's interest. That's way better than a traditional setup, at least in my mind.

But since Camille is single, she's is embracing being single. Well sort of. There was that incident last weekend when we all found out this chick from our church is getting married. She's younger than all of us. Camille didn't respond well. But other than that, she's fine.

I think her Valentine's Day is a good example of her embracing being single. She spent most of the day in the library studying. And also she got her teeth cleaned. And also, she bought herself something from Tiffany's. So I think that worked a distraction plus getting something for herself instead of lamenting not getting something from a man.

But in an effort to stick with my new plan for when there's not much to repost for a friend, I am linking to another blog post that fits her situation. The Frisky is one of my favorite sites to stop by and check out and they always have something for the single girl.

Here are four interesting articles:
I've Taken Responsibility For My Singlehood, Now What?

Mind of Man: Why You're Not Married"
Do We All Need To Learn How To Date?
4 Tips For Women Who Want To Make The First Move"

If I had to pick one, I'd pick the second one. That's based on discussions I've had with her about marriage and her largely negative reaction to the news of an associate's engagement.

So if you're single and wondering why you aren't married, let Mind of Man on Frisky give you the answer.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Valentine's Day, What Else Matters In February?

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Gloria was in early January. There was drama in Gloria's life, particularly her romantic life with Gregory. But most of that drama came from outside the relationship between the two of them. That happens when children come into the picture. But it was the reality for them for a while.] Read Romantic Monday posts.

Since that time, Gloria has decided to stop begging Gregory to try and build this family unit with both their sons. She hasn't stopped permanently, she's just looking to not have that constant source of conflict. So she's laying off bringing it up all the time in hopes that maybe he'll take some initiative on the solution.

When it comes to Rufus, things still aren't great. Gloria has cut him off until he decides to step up and take care of all his responsibilities. It's been weeks since he's seen his son and even longer since he contributed anything to the cost and time and process of raising him. I certainly hope he treats his other son at least a little better.

Aside from those updates to the drama, I have to talk about Valentine's Day. It's always a big deal for couples who don't have some grand stance against the entire holiday. Because of their schedules, Gregory and Gloria ended up deciding to celebrate V-Day after the fact. They decided Wednesday, the 16th was their day.

Gloria didn't even expect to see Gregory on Valentine's Day. But he surprised her. He showed up at her house that night with flowers and a card. She thought it was really sweet of him. Nothing like a surprise V-Day gift to make the day feel special, even if it isn't the day you picked to be special.

Wednesday, they did get together. They had dinner, the Chicago Auto Show, ice skating, and they spent the night downtown at the Sheraton. It sounds quite lovely and pretty close to the evening Easy had planned for him and I for our V-Day celebration.

Gloria said it was nice, but said she thought the night would be more romantic than it turned out to be. I guess just from the list of activities it could or couldn't be romantic, depending on your take. But at least they spent the whole night together, doing something fun and new. I've never heard her say they've gone ice skating before.

I haven't heard much talk recently about their long-term plans. I know they talk about them, I just haven't talked to Gloria about them. Perhaps I'll do a bit of inquiry and have more to day about that next week.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: A Story From Recent History

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***
Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Michelle was back close to the New Year. I was giving an update on Terrence. At that point, he had just disappeared into thin air for a couple of days. It was to sort things out with that crazy chick without Michelle clouding his mind. It was a fucked up thing for him to do and it really hurt Michelle. I'll explain (not this week) what happened next with that. It ain't pretty.] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

But for this week, I will talk about something more fun. Random flirting beats depressing involvement with an ex any day!

I forgot I never did tell the story about Michelle picking up one of Bad's friends the night we all went out for New Year's Eve.

I've already explained in various posts here and on my main blog how amazing New Year's was for Michelle and I.

Instead of spending the night watching The Blind Side drinking our respective hot cocoa or egg nog, we were out having tapas and dancing the night away.

But Michelle had even more fun than I did. While I was e-mailing Easy, thinking how much I wish I had a spare $600 to hop a plane to Spain, she was making a new friend.

This friend is one of Bad's best friends who's been around for years. We'll call him Mellow.

A lot of the time I've spent around him is from an era before Bad and Jordan were committed and exclusive, so I didn't really bring around a whole bunch of my friends, since it was just "friends of Bad" hanging out.

But there are moments when it's just Bad, Mellow, and I. I didn't want that because for a long time, Mellow and I weren't... close. When we're at Bad's house, whatever.

But when out on the town, gotta have backup. So one night, Top comes out with the three of us. Or rather, Bad brings Mellow to a night out that Top and I already had planned.

The point is, the four of us end up there together. There was an interesting dynamic. Something off to the left of a double date. I'll explain that in a post about Top so I can get back to Michelle.

The point is on NYE, I saw that same vibe between Michelle and Mellow, except it was just the two of them.

There was his cousin and me, who were both behaving like single chicks trying to stay that was for the night.

Bad and Jordan were doing the couple thing. And there were the two of them.

I'm not even sure who started flirting first, but suddenly, they were posing for pictures with their faces pressed all close together. It looked a lot like Michelle with Lion's cousin during our birthday weekend actually. I don't know if I've told that story or not.

But back to Mellow. They were dancing and flirting the night away. They seemed genuinely attracted to each other, but I'm not sure what the purpose was of all the interaction when he was just headed back to Florida in a couple days and neither one had the resources (and one of them didn't have the will) to have a one night stand.

But it became clearer. After we were all headed home, Bad texts me to say Mellow wants Michelle's number. I ask if I can give her his too. I ask her if it's cool, then we make the numbers exchange. Then I head to bed because I do not care for a while what happened next.

It turns out they texted back and forth, flirted some more, made plans to see each other before he left town, then both flaked.Sounds like they both wanted someone to flirt in the New Year with.

Michelle knows that since we've become closer, that closeness includes time with Bad and Jordan (who she loves), but who are in a solid happy relationship (which she lives with). Having a built in-flirty-boo-type is probably a good idea for her.

Mellow is probably just happy I brought a friend around who was closer to his age so there's a chance she won't treat him like a cute puppy while he's putting on the moves.

If you look at my recap from the last post, Terrence is still in the picture. There are updates with him, but I just wanted to talk about something fun this week. This shit with him is pretty depressing. I'll talk about it next Friday.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Big Bad Thursday: A Sweet And Simple Valentine's Day

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Bad was back at the beginning of the year. It was a recap of Bad and Jordan's Christmas and New Year's Eve. Oh, how I wish I had taken a picture of their adorable Christmas tree with the lights and the one ornament! But yeah, NYE was a great time. They had fun together as a couple and managed to save my and Michelle's NYEs too.] Read Big Bad Thursday posts

After New Year's, it was pretty much back to the grind for the two of them. They are both working (in charge of people, so that's added stress) and in grad school. But all is happy on the home front.

Since it's that time of year, of course I will be talking about how they spent their Valentine's Day. Three words: dinner, wine, fondue.

They had a lovely dinner which was romantic and full of good food. I tell you, whenever they get married, that is one reception dinner I am definitely looking forward to. Those two love good food.

The wine I'm excited about since I know Bad has a well-rounded taste for wine, but Jordan has a slightly different palate for wine. I know they came up with something great.

And the fondue, well that just sounds sexy. Whether it was for dinner or dessert, I know it was a great experience. Nothing better than playing with your food!

Bad and Jordan had the V-Day I expected them to have. Romantic, simple, drama-free. I can't wait to see how normal their kids turn out to be. Of course, if either of them heard me say that, they'd freak out, lol.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Lion's Life Wednesday: A Close Call On Relationship Troubles

***Lion is my best friend from college. He's a very focused young man working on getting his MD. This focus makes having a love life with Rudy a very difficult undertaking. But he's making it happen somehow. Between love, patience, and a lot of text messaging, they make it work.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Lion was waaay back in November. Like the intro says, Lion is busy with school. So there aren't always any new updates to talk about in his relationship with Rudy. But the last post was just a story about a predicament Rudy got into. Her support system was pretty large because of her relationship with Lion. I felt it underscored a good part of their relationship. Everyone in their lives is in support of them being together and willing to go the extra mile to make things go smoothly.] Read Lion's Life Wednesday posts

That extra mile people will go is the subject of today's post. I can't go into too many details because Lion has requested that I don't.

But Lion, myself, and another friend of ours from college were all on the phone one night. The three of us were discussing relationships, specifically our own.

This other friend I'll call Rev. Rev and I spent some time catching up on each other's relationships. Both he and I met someone over the summer and we hadn't gotten a chance to just sit and chat about it.

Lion wasn't really in on that part of the conversation. He just passed his one year anniversary with Rudy. Plus, they've really been involved on and off since 2007, so he wasn't really feeling that less-than-a-year, still-in-the-honeymoon-phase conversation Rev and I were sharing.

But moving on from my own happiness, we spent the majority of the phone conversation discussing Lion's relationship with Rudy. Any couple that is involved for a long time invariably discovers things about each other that aren't as compatible as they would like.

The major issue for Lion and Rudy is, as I've mentioned before, she wants kids and he does not. Lion is starting to feel more strongly that this is a deal breaker. He mentioned that if he knows they have to break up at some point, why should they stay together now and continue to let feelings grow deeper?

It's a good question. One that Rev and I couldn't answer for him. But we talked to him about that and other issues he felt they had. After trying unsuccessfully to get him to come up with a plan for discussing it with Rudy, we tried another tactic.

We helped him plan how he would end things with her. It was a tricky situation because like I said, they were right around the corner from their one year anniversary.

But a plan is what we came up with. Then we basically had to wait to see what would happen.

I'll update on what happened next week.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Sonny's Sunday: Some Wedding Details

***Sonny is an old friend of mine. We went to elementary, middle, and high school together. He's also my friend who's doing the super-adult thing. He and his new fiancee Cher just bought a house. They're working on planning a life together. Even with all that stability, their love life is still interesting.***
Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Sonny was back at the beginning of January. I spoke about him and Cher spending the holidays together. I have them pegged as one of those couples that just don't like spending time apart. And that works for them. I also started having some questions about their wedding plans. When they were talking about getting married in 2012, it seemed pretty far away back in March 2010. But now almost a year later, it seems pretty close.] Read Sonny's Sunday posts.

I have asked some questions of Sonny regarding their upcoming nuptials.

They have picked a cruise line. They're doing a Disney cruise.

I love the idea of a Disney cruise. If anyone can do a romantic and fun event, it would be Disney. I can already see the cruise staff bending over backwards to make their wedding special.

They haven't settled all the big details though. Things like an exact date.

Or a wedding party.

But a lot of things come with doing the wedding on a cruise that they won't have to worry about. Venue, food, flowers, drinks, music. All that will be part of the wedding package. Since it's on a boat, that dictates certain things. That should make life easier for them.

I'm pretty excited for Sonny since he's the only close friend I have getting married soon.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Tip Top Tuesday: The Men From The Past Refuse To Stay There

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Top was back in early January. I was talking about how eventually every guy screws up and declares he wants something Top doesn't want. Something she always and consistently says she doesn't want from the outset of any involvement. They want a relationship. She doesn't. She had vague plans of being in the right situation to meet a man who could actually give her what she wanted.]Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

Since that time, she hasn't yet met this man. How could she? With the weather New York has been having, I'm considering it a feat for anyone to even leave their house, let alone meet a potential man.

But in spite of the weather, something interesting has happened recently. A guy from long-distance (i.e, not affected by NYC weather) has resurfaced with designs on Top.

Who is the guys I'm talking about? I've called him CG (short for college guy) in this blog before. You can read about his brief time in Top's life here.

This is a guy who Top describes as a true Southern-type guy. He's pretty traditional. He wants to be married. By age 30. And he just turned 28.

Anyone who knows Top knows that is a recipe for disaster. There will be nothing he can do that will make her feel at ease. She will always think he's plotting on her.

Right now, she feels like he's just changing his tactics to try and appeal to what he thinks she wants.

He's trying to figure out how they can spend time together. He has suggested coming to NYC, her visiting him in NC, or even them meeting up in Baltimore for a concert.

Now she's trying to figure out how to let him know she's just not that into him.

She's also confused as to how he came to the conclusion that they weren't done and still had potential left to pursue.

If you read the old CG posts, you know their last interaction was back in September. But yet, here he is again.

I guess we'll see what happens between now and next week.

Some Changes To The Medley

I know, I've been MIA for a very long time. I just didn't feel like blogging, but now I do again.

So what will I be changing about this blog? Not much.

But I notice that sometimes I go for days without blogging because nothing interesting or new has happened in my friend's love lives.

So to fix the problem of not having anything new to blog about for days at a time, I've come up with a new plan for blogging.

Each friend will still have their day. For now, Camille and Lion will share Wednesday. I think I may alternate weeks for them. I haven't sorted that out yet.

But I would like to post something each day of the week. So for now, when there is nothing new to report about a friend's life, I will talk about related subjects.

I read a lot of blogs and online magazines. Obviously the topic of relationships interest me, and so when I come across articles/posts that relate to a friend's current relationship (or lack thereof) status.

I've seen things online that make me think, "this would be great advice for Michelle" or "this would be a great idea to help plan Sonny's wedding" or even "this article makes me thankful Bad and Jordan aren't crazy people".

So I'll try that for a couple of weeks and see how it goes.


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