Melody's Monday: Second Year of School, And She's Doing Fine

***Melody is my little sister for all intents and purposes. She has just begun her second year of college. She's learning the ups and downs of relationships, as well as what she's looking for in a relationship as a young adult. Her ideas of romance are informed by the Bible, parents, romantic comedies, and friends. Take that, add in some newfound freedom, and you've got a recipe for interesting tales.***

Last week, I was talking about how Melody was newly single and that she was hurt and moving on. And she is; moving on, I mean. The last time I spoke to her, she was talking about trying to change the type of guy she attracts. I was so glad to hear that from her because it meant she wasn't about to slip into self-pity, miss-my-man, woe-is-me mode.

Melody is sometimes reserved and so she attracts the kind of guys who like that. She's also expressed an interest in dating men outside her race. I don't know how I like that as an actual goal, but I think the change could be good. Anyone who's honest with themselves will admit that overall, there are some cultural differences that make dating white men or Latino men very different from dating black men. This is just a generalization, and she could very well find herself a Latino guy who is culturally exactly like every guy she's already dated.

I would prefer if she just wanted to expand her horizons and be open to dating whatever kind of guy as opposed to just black men. But I'm less concerned because she's not an aggressive woman. So I know she won't wake up to the nearest cute white guy and ask him out. Therefore, she won't have to explain in a few weeks that she like him cause he's not black. That would be bad. But I don't think that's gonna happen.

What I do know is it would make for an interesting set of stories if she gets involved in an inter-racial relationship. It would be very new territory for her.

Melody's Monday: The Fall Brings A Fall

***Melody is my little sister for all intents and purposes. She has just begun her second year of college. She's learning the ups and downs of relationships, as well as what she's looking for in a relationship as a young adult. Her ideas of romance are informed by the Bible, parents, romantic comedies, and friends. Take that, add in some newfound freedom, and you've got a recipe for interesting tales.***

Quick Recap[The last time I wrote about Melody, she and Tweety were getting ready for the next school year to start. He had decided he wasn't transferring schools and things were all good. Melody seemed really happy and I was happy for her.] Read Melody's Monday posts.

Since that time, they've broken up! And it was about such bullshit. Tweety isn't a virgin, Melody is. Anyone who's ever dated a young college man who is used to having sex may share her pain. It was a slightly difficult decision for Melody about how to handle it. She ultimately decided to focus on her goals she had in place before she had the boyfriend. She intends to stay a virgin until she's married.

I talked with her about it before they broke up and she was asking if she was right to make this decision. That let me know it was based so much on the things her parents told her should be. I told her to pray about it and think about it and she did decide it was something that mattered to her and not just because her parents said so or her church says so. And when she told Tweety this, he said he could handle it, but it was basically a countdown to him deciding he couldn't handle it.

He broke up with her and ended up leaving town to go to a school in Tennessee somewhere. I say good riddance. It would be more difficult for her to be at school if he was there because they had started to blend friends. And now they'll just be her friends.

Melody is feeling hurt by the breakup, as well she should. He knew this about her when they met (through church friends, no less), and he said it was okay. He was full of crap and I'm so happy that she got out when she did, even if it wasn't her decision. She would have regretted it if she had sex with him just to not lose him. No guy, especially a 19 year old guy, is worth that depth of compromise.

Melody's Monday: Tweety Is Staying In Town

***Melody is my little sister for all intents and purposes. She just finished her freshman year of college and her love life is filled with all the wonderful things that brings. She has new found freedom mixed with ideals of romance informed by parents and romantic comedies. She is currently involved in what will probably go down in her history as her first adult relationship.***

Quick Recap [Last time I wrote about Melody, her boyfriend Tweety was contemplating transferring to a college down south so he could play in their band. He wanted Melody to go with him down there. This was in spite of the fact that her major was at the college they were currently attending, her family was close to the school, and she was more interested in him than the school. I was hoping he wouldn't go so it wouldn't be an issue for her to have to decide whether or not to follow him.]

Tweety isn't leaving! Thank God. I wasn't going to tell her not to go with him, but I was sooooo against it. The problem was solved for me. He missed his audition for the band and wasn't able to schedule another one. He still loves that school and may try to apply again next school year. That would make me feel better because if they're still together this time next year, they'll have another year of relationship built up to make a major move like that more feasible.

Melody and Tweety are getting ready for this next school year to start. Now that's she's settled into the being-a-college-student-thing, it should be a great year. She has class, work, a boyfriend, and friends. Sounds like the ideal college situation to me. At least it's ideal for Melody. She loves having a relationship and friends. She needs to have a job to help support herself while she's in school. And she loves her major. Things are looking fantastic for her in the near future.

Melody's Monday: Summer Lovin', They're Having A Bla-ast

***Melody is my little sister for all intents and purposes. She just finished her freshman year of college and her love life is filled with all the wonderful things that brings. She has new found freedom mixed with ideals of romance informed by parents and romantic comedies. She is currently involved in what will probably go down in her history as her first adult relationship.***

Today's post is about enjoying the wonderful freedom that being a college kid with the summer off provides. There is no other time in life like it. You have ultimate freedom with minimal responsibility. And Melody is living it up. Tweety, who her boyfriend for a month now, is consuming a lot of her time. Every time I talk to her, they're at the beach, or they're headed to the movies or the park or a restaurant. When they're not working, that is.

It reminds me of being her age and wanting to spend all your time with this person just because you could. He seems to make her happy so far. She tells cute stories about how they just sit in the park and talk for hours about any and everything. Melody will be working this summer, but I imagine she won't let that stop her from seeing Tweety every chance she gets.

I still haven't heard the final verdict on whether Tweety will still be a student at their college next school year. He is talking about transferring to an HBCU down south. I want his college education to go well, but I also don't want Melody to get another broken heart. He is now trying to convince her to go down there with him. Every independent-woman bone in my is screaming for her not to do it. Luckily, there's not much chance of that happening because she really has no desire to do that. He says he expects to go down there for one semester, not like it, and come back. I definitely don't understand teenagers. If he won't like it, why go at all with such a terrible expectation??

But, that's not for me to say. I didn't offer any advice, I just asked that she keep me informed on the goings on because it's certainly making an interesting story, lol.

Melody's Monday: They're Learning How Difficult It Is To Mix Friends

I know everyone didn't go to college, but everyone passed by age 19 at some point. If you were trying to date anyone exclusively, if not seriously, you probably had this notion that your lives could end up perfectly if everything you wanted magically fell into place.

A person who's 19 thinks half like a teenager and half like a young-20s person. Either way isn't particularly clear (at least me and my friends weren't amazing at sorting out intricacies of relationships at that age). Melody is in the midst of spending a lot of time with Tweety's friends because she wants to be around him and the friends come as a package deal. They aren't her kind of people though.

She's never been a girl to worry too much about clothing or appearance. Coming from such a large family, focusing on fashion had no place in their finances. But Melody is such a pretty girl who genetically and healthily ended up with an amazing body. She could wear a burlap sack and still look good. But now she spends so much time around girls who are obsessed with clothing. Tweety isn't actually much better. She told me he once talked for thirty minutes about how a pair of shoes could work with different outfits of his.

I like those types of conversations, so she had to explain to me how that was out of the ordinary for her and something to get used to. Once I got it, I was amused because it seemed like she was sticking with a guy (yet again) who had some obvious traits that didn't match with what she wanted.

But I gotta hand it to baby girl. She's got some maturity when it comes to relationships. At her age, I would bail for the smallest reasons. I just stopped that shit about two years ago. I still want to bail, I just fight the urge. But she's a ride out kind of girl. I guess I can appreciate that because she is still so young and can afford to give a guy a bit more time to wait and be sure if what she thinks she wants is actually what she wants.

Re-organizing This Blog

I like writing about my love life and my friends love life. But I need to re-organize this blog so it doesn't feel so haphazard to me. The obvious solution is to make days.

So, I write about myself, Top, Bad, Lion, Noni, and Melody. If I split myself into a present day and a past day, that makes 7! I hadn't realized that. So each day of the week will be assigned to a person's story.

Retrospective Sunday- this will be my day to talk about past relationships and dating experiences.
Melody's Monday- this will be my day to talk about my little sister Melody and her lovely college dating follies.
Tip Top Tuesday- this will be my day to talk about independent Top's current "not-dating situation and (I hope) her eventual journey back to the land of dating.
Lion's Life Wednesday- this will be my day to talk about future doctor Lion. Med school takes up so much of his time, but certainly between the past and the present, I can find enough stuff for a weekly post.
Big Bad Thursday- this will be my day to talk about Bad. He seemed destined to be an eternal bachelor, but now he finds himself in love with a wonderful girl, so this will be an exploration of his new destiny.
Focus on Me Friday- this will be my day to talk about what's currently going on in my love life.
Noni's Stargazing Saturday- this will be my day to talk about my hopeless romantic friend Noni. She's dealing with a tumultuous relationship and a pregnancy at the same time. Should be interesting stuff I think.

And of course I'll need a new title since this blog is about way more than just my love life. I'm thinking "My Life's Love Medley". What do you think?

UPDATE!!! I've just re-connected with my friend from elementary, midde, and high school. His love life will be waaaayyy more interesting that retrospective stories about me. So, Sunday will now be Sonny's Sunday!