Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: After The 10 Steps

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [My last post for Michelle was two weeks ago. In that time, I talked about her 10 cyclical steps of dating men. It covered her trends of how she usually responds to these guys along with how things usually turn out. I felt I had gotten it pretty much right and was looking forward to what she thought of the post.] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

This week, I want to talk about her reaction to it. It's been a pretty love-life-less week for Michelle. It happens when your a single girl in a small town getting ready to graduate from college in a month. Her priorities aren't exactly on finding some new guy to flirt with.

Michelle didn't really read the post right when I first wrote it. I read it to her while we were hanging out at our friend Gloria's house because she hadn't had a chance to read it. She said it was pretty darn accurate and was laughing because it fit her with Michael, Terrence, and Darren. Basically everyone that I've mentioned by name on this blog.

Here's what she had to say: "It's pretty accurate and sad at the same time, which brought me to the conclusion that I don't want to handle my relationships like that any longer. I'm ready to start leaving my past where it is so it won't complicate my future or present. Allowing these people to continue to come in and out my life keeps me from getting close to someone new. I'm ready for a fresh start!"

I was happy to read that but a bit worried because I didn't want the post to be negative or an admonition, I wanted it to be funny. But if she changes her behavior and ends up with better results, that's cool. I figured she was doing a good job of keeping her priorities and right now a relationship isn't one of them. But I guess if the right guy came along, she'll be happy to be in a position to break her cycle with him.

By the way, I got a comment on the post that made me think some people don't know these blogs posts are about real people. I changed their names and the names of their guys, but I haven't made up anything about their lives. Trust me, I'm not that creative. My creativity only goes as far as me making the cartoon pics at the top of each blog post.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Apologies And Hope For The Future

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***
Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.


Last week, I wrote about this crazy story that happened to Michelle last semester when she accidentally ended up with a boyfriend. It was pretty funny to me, and I hope that funniness was conveyed through the blog post.


I was hoping that this week, I could just link to some post for a single girl deciding whether or not she wants to put herself in the market for a serious relationship. That meant nothing dramatic would be happening in Michelle's love life this week. Well, I won't be linking to anything because something did happen.


Two somethings happened actually. In a way, I'm glad they happened because they provided Michelle with a chance to focus on some bad things that happened and take the first step towards truly getting past it instead of just getting over it.


The first thing happened with Darren. I wrote a post about how terribly things ended with him and Michelle, which you can read here. Darren's relationship ended as predicted. That's what happens when you jump into a situation simply for the sake of being able to say you have a girlfriend. Darren called (or maybe texted, whatever) Michelle to inform her that his relationship was over.


He also apologized for what happened between the two of them back in December. I'm so glad he apologized, it took guts to do that. And even though they were good friends before all this went down, I'm glad that jerk got the karma that was coming to him. Maybe Darren and Michelle can be friends again after this, I don't know. I guess time will tell.


The second thing that happened was eerily similar to the first. Terrence reached out to Michelle just two days after Darren did. You can read about the demise of Terrence and Michelle here. It was even worse that what happened with Darren because Michelle had real love for Terrence. I think that made her feel even better when he reached out to her to apologize for what happened. I think he is still with his girlfried. Michelle didn't ask, and he didn't volunteer any info about the chick.


If he's still with her, maybe they'll work out. I'm hoping they don't. I guess that sounds mean, but whatever. If Michelle can't have him, but still kind of wants him, I don't want anyone else to have him. And they still have time to break up. If Terrence follows Darren's schedule, things should be falling apart between him and his "girlfriend" in about a week.


Michelle still has hope that things could possibly work out between her and Terrence eventually. I don't know how long she'll wait for eventually, but I'm all for hope. After how well things have turned out between Easy and me, I can only have hope that two people who truly love each other can work through anything.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Another Crazy Single Girl Story

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Last week, I finally got around to telling what happened between Terrence and Michelle. I'm glad to be past that for a while.


Michelle is still single. I guess I could tell the story I never told from last semester about how she had a boyfriend temporarily. I think I will tell the story. I mentioned this guy waaay back in September. He only got a paragraph in a long post that mentioned a couple of guys. Here is the paragraph.

There was this other guy too, who happened to be the fraternity brother of the first guy. He likes Michelle; she sees him as just a friend. She's been enjoying the attention, but not wanting to encourage it by spending too much time with him.

This guy and Michelle hung out a lot last semester. They got to be pretty good friends. He liked and and she liked him well enough. Let me put it this way, he was the only person around she could bear to spend time with. But he decided he really liked her.


He had a dinner party one night and some of his friends who Michelle doesn't really hang out with were there. At the party, one of those friends called her his girlfriend. She was like, "say what?" The guy explains to Michelle that neither of them are dating anyone else. Michelle thinks, "In this town." Then he explains to Michelle that he likes her and she seems to like him too. Michelle thinks, "but there's just no else else I like more, does that count?" Then he explains to Michelle that it feels right to him and no they haven't discussed it, but he thinks they should go with it. Michelle thinks, "what the hell? no discussion. You're a crazy person."


But Michelle says... nothing. At least not right then. I suppose it's not the best conversation to have with a guy in front of his friends that you really don't know well. I had fun joking that she had a boyfriend for a couple of days. It really was funny. But then she let his ass know that you don't just decide someone is your girlfriend, plus she's talking to other people who don't live in Charleston, plus the two of them will never have a serious relationship. Great story, right? I think so.



Now, for the rest of this post, I'm going to discuss what else has been going on with her.


There isn't much going on. Michelle still feels like the men in her world are next to nonexistent in Charleston and sucky everywhere else. She hasn't even mentioned Darren, Terrence, or Michael. That makes me happy because except for me mentioning them right now, they don't deserve to be mentioned.


So there's nothing really new to report. Perhaps next week, I'll link another article for a single girl who hasn't decided whether or not she wants it to be a long-term condition.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: It Seems These Men Will Never Go Away

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Last week, I was happy to discuss Darren's demise, even though I had been rooting for him before that happened.

That's usually how things go. Things are great with a new guy, until it falls apart. Then inevitable questions arise.

Whose fault was it? Is this worth fighting for? Do I want to keep this person in my life in some capacity?

I don't know if Michelle is asking herself these questions about these men or not.

It's not like she's had very much time for self-reflection. They won't stay gone long enough for that.

Darren has reached out to her via text message. What did the text say? "Hey buddy."

What.The.Fuck?! Why is it when men make a choice, and that choice isn't you, do they feel the need to keep some interaction?

It's like a deleted scene from Bill Bellamy's "How To Be A Player".

I guess he figured they could keep doing their will-we-be-friends-or-not dance until he sees how things work out with that other chick.

All I can say is that I'm super happy Michelle didn't respond to his text message at all.

Moving on the waste of time that is Michael. He has also reached out to Michelle.

If this guy wants her in his life, why can't he be more proactive about it. Blackberry Messenger IMs talking about how you feel can be useful.

But not when the bulk of your conversation is about how the other person doesn't talk to you as much as they used to. Stop complaining, be proactive!

If you want to see the girl, ask her out dumb ass? But what if she says no? Your punk ass should be able to take the risk if you like her like you think you do.

Would it be better to just sit in the wings and occasionally IM and make yourself seem less and less desirable because you can't take a firm position or consistent behavior?

Michelle has decided that she and Michael are going to be "just friends". She said she's sick of making plans with him only to be stood up or cancelled on at the last moment. I think that's wise.

And moving on to Terrence. He gets back to town today. I can't tell if Michelle is super excited or just regular excited.

I think that she's regular excited for now because she doesn't actually expect to see him today. I believe his plans are to spend this first day back with just him family.

But they've been texting back and forth and he's laying it on pretty thick. So I figure she's well on her way to super excited.

Which is perfectly acceptable. After all, they have quite a history. He's the first boy she ever loved.

And I love that moment, before any concrete interactions have ruined it, when everything is shiny and new and full of potential.

They aren't shiny and new because they have so much history, but because it's been so long since they've seen each other.

They've been in contact while he was away and now they get to see where all this talking and reconnecting will lead.

I'll be glad to report next week how it's going between Michelle and Terrence. And I'm hoping I'll have nothing to add about either Michael or Darren.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Goodbye Darren, Hello Terrence

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [It's been a couple of weeks since I've written about Michelle. It's been a couple of weeks since I've really written about anyone. But that last post was a hopeful one about a new guy, Darren. He'd actually been around for a while, but that was the first time I had mentioned him. He was this person shoe had a great chemistry with and she was finally starting to explore that, even though they had an interesting history] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

Well, since that time, Darren has proven himself unworthy. It happens with every guy until it doesn't, so I guess I'm not surprised.

What happened with them is actually very similar to what happened with Easy and me.

After dancing around and toward each other, he managed to break down some of her barriers to the idea of them.

He was, after all, involved with her cousin (although only for a couple weeks) before setting his sights on her.

But they hung out like they were supposed to that Friday night. Things went well. Michelle found herself leaning towards getting over her issues about his history with her cousin, Thing 1.

Sidenote: I've finally searched through my blog posts and figured out which twin cousin I had labeled Thing 1 and which one was Thing 2 aka Chocolate Thunda (please get the Cat in the Hat reference, please).

What happens next was quite a surprise. Michelle ended up not hearing from Darren for a couple of days.

She didn't think too much of it because she's in the full swing of working on projects for finals right now.

She happened to be on Facebook and saw that his status update indicated he was now in a relationship.

Darren texted Michelle a few days after that to tell her he missed her and ask how she felt about their time together the previous Friday evening.

She took that opportunity to ask him about his new status. He immediately apologized.

His response was something like,

"I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want you to be upset. You always have your guard up and seemed so unsure about us. I was talking to this other girl too. She seemed to really want to be with me. So I took a chance on her."

After hearing that, Michelle was floored. She was definitely having a what.the.fuck. moment.

What do you even say to that? Good luck on your relationship? Nah, that wouldn't be an honest response.

She let Darren know that he sucked for jumping into a relationship without telling her. And also for being in a relationship and continuing to behave as if he were pursuing her.

I think it's a pretty universal rule that once you have a girlfriend, you shouldn't be sending other girls texts about how you miss them and want to kiss them again etc.

I liked Darren from what she had told me about him because he seemed sweetly persistent.

Michelle does have a short wall up, but he seemed ready and willing to work to get it down.

But then the first girl who comes along who suggests a relationship can get him? He's an idiot as far as I'm concerned.

Who even jumps into a relationship anyway these days?

You don't just say, "I like you, be my boyfriend." That's high school behavior.

Adults date. They work toward a relationship. They see if mixing their two lives is something that can work.

And before he was in this "relationship", he was talking to and texting Michelle almost everyday.

There aren't enough hours in the day to do that with multiple people, so I just really doubt the validity of this new girlfriend.

I don't expect they'll last long because they have no foundation. And when they are done, he'll probably be back to Michelle, trying to explain how he made a mistake.

I hope she tells him to go suck an egg. Well that's not fair. It will depend on how she feels about him at that time. But still, that would be funny if she did.

Moving on to the next. There is this guy who I will call Terrence. He is Michelle's ex. He is due home next week I believe.

Where has he been? In the Armed Forces. She is very much looking forward to his return home. I"m sure that will make for some interesting stories because they have a very intense relationship.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Introducing Darren

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Michelle texted or IM'd or had some sort of conversation with Michael last week. She let him know she was coming to Chicago for Thanksgiving.

She gets a whole week off from school, so she drove up last night. Did Michael make plans with her when she told him she was coming? Of course he didn't.

And what is likely to happen is that sometime after Thanksgiving, he will be upset with her that he didn't see her all week. As if somehow that was able to happen outside of his control.

After my usual discussion of how much Michael sucks, I'm going to move on to someone I don't despise yet. His name is Darren.

Darren and Michelle have an interesting connection. From the time they met, there was something there. Something that drew them to each other. But it wasn't that simple. It's never that simple.

They went to different schools, but Darren has recently graduated and moved back to Chicago. And then there's that other thing besides long distance. He used to have an involvement with her cousin.

I've mentioned Michelle's cousins before. I call the Thing 1 and Thing 2 on my blogs. They're twins. Darren's involvement with one of the Things was brief, but it happened.

And it's enough to make Michelle hesitant about getting involved with this man who she finds so interesting.

She was supposed to hang out with him today. Because they get along so well, they are trying to be friends. I'm hoping that enough time will pass that eventually Michelle will get over the couple of weeks he spent talking to her cousin.

Next week, I'm hoping to have an interesting story to tell next Friday about their non-date. Either that or something else interesting that's bound to happen between now and then.