Friday, December 31, 2010

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Free And Clear In The New Year

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

What.The.Fuck?! Why is it when men make a choice, and that choice isn't you, do they feel the need to keep some interaction?


That is a sentence in my last post about Michelle. That was two weeks ago.
 
In that post, I was happily explaining how all the worthless men in Michelle's romantic orbit had run their course.
 
They were not to be mentioned again, except in footnotes of unwelcome text messages.
 
Even the ones who would stay friends don't get full mentions because this blog isn't about her friends, it's about her love life.
 
I was looking forward to Terrence's return home for the Christmas holiday.
 
And it seemed like things were looking up. They hung out when he first got home and he was really laying it on thick.
 
He was talking about his idea for their near and distant futures together.
 
But Terrence wants a girlfriend.
 
Michelle doesn't want a boyfriend, especially not one who's about to be guaranteed away from home 99% of the time for the next four years.
 
What was the result of that? It didn't end well.
 
Which brings me back to the quote above.
 
What.The.Fuck?! Why is it when men make a choice, and that choice isn't you, do they feel the need to keep some interaction?
 
Terrence is not that kind of man.
 
He met this other girl at some point before he shipped off to boot camp.
 
When he came back, she was more into the idea of being his girlfriend than Michele was.
 
Apparently, the idea of dating one person at a time is foreign to Terrence.
 
It's just ridiculous because some of the things he was saying would suggest she wasn't so easily replaceable.

I guess acting neglectfully or acting completely interested to the point of making plans for years in the future might as well be interchangeable.

It netted the same result.

This is twice in a month that this has happened now. Michelle keeps attracting these guys who claim they want a serious relationship with her.

But it turns out is all they want is a serious relationship with someone. I'm not even sure the word serious applies here.

They just wanted a girlfriend. Any old chick could apparently fit into that slot.

If they ask one chick to be the girlfriend and she says no, somehow less than a week later, they have another girlfriend?

And not just any other girlfriend, it's some chick they also were talking to the entire time they were trying to make Michelle the girlfriend.

Somehow, they end up looking something other than genuine or sincere. They just look full of shit.

These guys are looking for an easy route, a girlfriend without the trouble of building a connection and relationship first. Yeah, that's gonna end well.

I have no idea what to expect for Michelle in the new year, but I hope there's nothing to do with guys who don't know what they want or guys who know what they want but don't take into account what Michelle wants or guys who are just generally full of shit.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: The Mystery Man Is Still A Mystery

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

Yes, the mystery man is still a mystery.

I keep hearing more about him, but there have been no moves made to actually introduce him to Camille.

When I decide I'm going to set up two friends, I certainly don't go about it this way.

I don't mention one to the other and then talk about that person for weeks.

I would tell each person about the other to assess whether they have an interest in meeting each other.

But I guess Camille's friend is working on letting this guy know about Camille.

I hope she shares good stories, cause Camille is great.

I expect I'll have something concrete to report by next week because by then the friend will be back from Christmas vacation.

Christmas vacation was when she was supposed to assess his level of interest.

This has to be one of the longest setups in history, lol.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Tip Top Tuesday: When Will The Men Learn?

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Top was a couple weeks ago. There was talk about Dan and talk about her work life. Nothing else worth mentioning was really going on in her love life] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

In the last couple of weeks, something interesting happened with Dan.

I'm not really sure how to explain it, but let's just say some people can't handle their alcohol.

They were out for drinks one night and he started expressing himself.

If you remember, Dan has a lot going on in his life right now, and he is not in a position to pursue her.

She's also not a position to be pursued. The last few months of blog posts, should tell you that. Top doesn't want or need a relationship with anyone right now.

So how do most men respond to this lack of desire for a relationship? Why, they get liquored up and declare they'd like a relationship with Top!

It never fails. Eventually, they all get to this point. I'm not sure what makes these guys think that liquid courage will make everything alright.

They think this in spite of the fact that they would have kept those thoughts to themselves while sober.

So Top let him know that he was asking for something that wasn't ever going to happen.

I think he got the picture. Since that happened, he hasn't been saying anything else about wanting to be with Top.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: Musings On A Mystery Man

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

Last week, I was happy to report about the pseudo-official exiting of many useless men from Camille's world.

I did introduce a new fellow, the athlete. He won't get a name though until Camille actually meets him.

We've learned more about him in the last week.

This mystery man come from a two-parent household.

His mother is a bit over-bearing, but has a huge heart and really loves her son.

He has plans to go to divinity school (maybe) after his current career is over.

He has no children. That's really rare for a young black man in his position.

He grew up with a friend of Camille's from California. She's the one who's working on setting this guy and Camille up.

She's been telling Camille all these wonderful things about this man.

But she hasn't brought Camille up to him yet. That seems weird, I know, but it's coming.

She will see this guy during the Christmas holiday, and she will be telling him about Camille the, face to face, just like she told Camille about him face to face.

I don't know when they will get a chance to meet seeing as how he's very busy and will be until February.

But Camille is super busy too, so I guess it's not that big of a deal.

Hopefully, I'll know more about this mystery guy next week since Christmas is in a few days.

Maybe there will have been some contact. A phone call or e-mail or something.

This guy looks great on paper. He's actually pretty good-looking as well (I've seen his photo). I'd love to give him a name on this blog.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Test Blog

I'm trying to setup my mobile blogging. This is a test e-mail to see how it will turn up on a blog post.
CeCe Savage

Noni's Stargazing Saturday: Heading Down The Roller Coaster Again

***Noni is one of my really good friends from college. We were even roommates for a year and some change. But she's done with school (for now). She's starting a family with a baby boy and working on herself and her relationship at the same time. Things won't always be easy, but they're usually always interesting.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Noni was about a month ago. I was talking about how things had improved between her and Eric concerning their home life. I also spoke about how he was finally showing some consistency on improving his behavior.]Read Stargazing Saturday posts.

Since that time, Eric has been screwing up again. When Noni asked him why he had stopped helping.

He told her he didn't see why it was a big deal because she was doing it all before, why couldn't she do it now?

He intended to help, but I guess he didn't intend to do it every single day for the rest of their lives together.

It's frustrating to Noni because she thought that maybe this time he had actually changed. Unfortunately, he hasn't.

I don't know what's going to happen with them. Maybe they'll constantly fight about what she wants from him that he's not willing to provide.

It seems as if he wasn't really prepared for the life they built. They didn't plan on Noni getting pregnant, but they also didn't take precautions to keep it from happening.

All I know is, Noni isn't getting what she wants from him. She's tried talking to him, she's tried yelling at him, and she's even tried leaving him.

But she still loves him and still wants to be with him. It will be interesting to see where their relationship goes from here.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: It Seems These Men Will Never Go Away

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Last week, I was happy to discuss Darren's demise, even though I had been rooting for him before that happened.

That's usually how things go. Things are great with a new guy, until it falls apart. Then inevitable questions arise.

Whose fault was it? Is this worth fighting for? Do I want to keep this person in my life in some capacity?

I don't know if Michelle is asking herself these questions about these men or not.

It's not like she's had very much time for self-reflection. They won't stay gone long enough for that.

Darren has reached out to her via text message. What did the text say? "Hey buddy."

What.The.Fuck?! Why is it when men make a choice, and that choice isn't you, do they feel the need to keep some interaction?

It's like a deleted scene from Bill Bellamy's "How To Be A Player".

I guess he figured they could keep doing their will-we-be-friends-or-not dance until he sees how things work out with that other chick.

All I can say is that I'm super happy Michelle didn't respond to his text message at all.

Moving on the waste of time that is Michael. He has also reached out to Michelle.

If this guy wants her in his life, why can't he be more proactive about it. Blackberry Messenger IMs talking about how you feel can be useful.

But not when the bulk of your conversation is about how the other person doesn't talk to you as much as they used to. Stop complaining, be proactive!

If you want to see the girl, ask her out dumb ass? But what if she says no? Your punk ass should be able to take the risk if you like her like you think you do.

Would it be better to just sit in the wings and occasionally IM and make yourself seem less and less desirable because you can't take a firm position or consistent behavior?

Michelle has decided that she and Michael are going to be "just friends". She said she's sick of making plans with him only to be stood up or cancelled on at the last moment. I think that's wise.

And moving on to Terrence. He gets back to town today. I can't tell if Michelle is super excited or just regular excited.

I think that she's regular excited for now because she doesn't actually expect to see him today. I believe his plans are to spend this first day back with just him family.

But they've been texting back and forth and he's laying it on pretty thick. So I figure she's well on her way to super excited.

Which is perfectly acceptable. After all, they have quite a history. He's the first boy she ever loved.

And I love that moment, before any concrete interactions have ruined it, when everything is shiny and new and full of potential.

They aren't shiny and new because they have so much history, but because it's been so long since they've seen each other.

They've been in contact while he was away and now they get to see where all this talking and reconnecting will lead.

I'll be glad to report next week how it's going between Michelle and Terrence. And I'm hoping I'll have nothing to add about either Michael or Darren.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: Getting Rid of Useless Baggage To Make Room For Worthwhile Possessions

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

So in the past week, Camille has managed to not meet any super questionable men she had to get rid of.

She did, however, get contacted by worthless men from her past.

I don't know that these men are all-around worthless. They are just worthless when it comes to Camille.

One doesn't even have a name on this blog because he's relatively ancient history.

But I will give a brief history in Camille's own words.

She told me he called but that she didn't call back and was worried she was being rude.

I told her she shouldn't feel bad because this particular guy wasn't good enough for her.

She said,
"Just bc he had a hidden child for 10 years, smokes weed EVERYDAY, plays video games EVERYDAY, never took me out, ad has gucci mane as his idol means he's not good enough?"

She was being funny by asking the question because she agrees with me.

Camille says she'll return his call after her finals are over. I hope he was just calling to wish her a belated birthday.

Of course he didn't leave a voicemail cause that would take too much effort. Moving on.

She has decided to give up on King. I suppose that's for the best.

Camille thinks he doesn't like her the way he used to. That's a very good reason to move on.

And then she received a belated birthday call from Malik. They had a three minute conversation in which she acted as uninterested as possible.

From the content of the convo, it seems as if he was feeling her out for the possibility of picking things up where he'd last carelessly left them.

I'm glad she made it pretty clear that wasn't an option.

We decided she would no longer put up with any kind of just-not-that-into-you behavior. I think it's a good rule to follow for myself as well.

Once a guy starts acting up, he's out. That's a luxury those of us without lifelong bonds like marriage and children can do.

And she's gonna try and stay away from guys that are of different religions. It's not something to even be concerned about.

But in Camille's case, these guys come from these religions that have such strict views that dating someone of a different religion is more a hindrance than anything else.

There is a guy that has been brought up that could be interesting.

All I'll say for now is that he comes from an easygoing religion. He's also reported to be a gentleman, from a nice family, and a genuinely good person. And he's an athlete.

I'll leave it at that until there's something more concrete to go on. Such as actually meeting him. He's a friend of a friend.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Tip Top Tuesday: Poetry And Work, Oh And Men Too

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Top talked about how the reason Dan has become an important part of her world is because he wasn't easily dismissible because of circumstances. I also introduced a new guy I called No Name Date Guy. He seemed to be providing a bit of spontaneous fun for Top.] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

Dan still holds his place of importance. He and Top are still good friends. From the outside looking in, it seems as if he's been very instrumental in getting her to feel safe about opening her heart again.

She's writing poetry again. Other than the other poetry she wrote last month, it had been years since I heard her say she wrote a poem.

She was feeling inspired and Dan had a lot to do with that. But this poetry writing has shown me that there's still this wall up.

Top has no intention of ever letting Dan see the poems. I think this is a wise decision because it might be the catalyst to push things farther than they need to go.

But that means there is still this limit of how close they can get.

I don't have anything new to report about No Name Date Guy. Maybe he's gone, maybe he's not. He really was just a blip on the radar.

I'm thinking he was only mentioned because the story connected to picking out clothes. I do love clothes.

But on to other interesting things. I've said that Top is a girl who focuses on her career a lot. And she has really made some strides.

Her job has evolved to where she's now in charge of coordinating events for the next calendar year. I try not to talk too much about work here, but it's just really exciting.

She's reached out to some pretty big name music artists to help promote events. Her job is non-profit, so they do a lot of fundraising.

Being able to raise that money makes such a difference in the lives of the community they serve. I wish they knew who was solely responsible for the boost they will get in revenue next year.

I'm feeling really hopeful that things will work out and a couple of the people she's reached out to will be able to accommodate her request.

A tip for people who are single and like it that way: be like Top and have other things going on in your life. Other important things that really matter in the world around you. That way your life can still be complete.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Goodbye Darren, Hello Terrence

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [It's been a couple of weeks since I've written about Michelle. It's been a couple of weeks since I've really written about anyone. But that last post was a hopeful one about a new guy, Darren. He'd actually been around for a while, but that was the first time I had mentioned him. He was this person shoe had a great chemistry with and she was finally starting to explore that, even though they had an interesting history] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

Well, since that time, Darren has proven himself unworthy. It happens with every guy until it doesn't, so I guess I'm not surprised.

What happened with them is actually very similar to what happened with Easy and me.

After dancing around and toward each other, he managed to break down some of her barriers to the idea of them.

He was, after all, involved with her cousin (although only for a couple weeks) before setting his sights on her.

But they hung out like they were supposed to that Friday night. Things went well. Michelle found herself leaning towards getting over her issues about his history with her cousin, Thing 1.

Sidenote: I've finally searched through my blog posts and figured out which twin cousin I had labeled Thing 1 and which one was Thing 2 aka Chocolate Thunda (please get the Cat in the Hat reference, please).

What happens next was quite a surprise. Michelle ended up not hearing from Darren for a couple of days.

She didn't think too much of it because she's in the full swing of working on projects for finals right now.

She happened to be on Facebook and saw that his status update indicated he was now in a relationship.

Darren texted Michelle a few days after that to tell her he missed her and ask how she felt about their time together the previous Friday evening.

She took that opportunity to ask him about his new status. He immediately apologized.

His response was something like,
"I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want you to be upset. You always have your guard up and seemed so unsure about us. I was talking to this other girl too. She seemed to really want to be with me. So I took a chance on her."

After hearing that, Michelle was floored. She was definitely having a what.the.fuck. moment.

What do you even say to that? Good luck on your relationship? Nah, that wouldn't be an honest response.

She let Darren know that he sucked for jumping into a relationship without telling her. And also for being in a relationship and continuing to behave as if he were pursuing her.

I think it's a pretty universal rule that once you have a girlfriend, you shouldn't be sending other girls texts about how you miss them and want to kiss them again etc.

I liked Darren from what she had told me about him because he seemed sweetly persistent.

Michelle does have a short wall up, but he seemed ready and willing to work to get it down.

But then the first girl who comes along who suggests a relationship can get him? He's an idiot as far as I'm concerned.

Who even jumps into a relationship anyway these days?

You don't just say, "I like you, be my boyfriend." That's high school behavior.

Adults date. They work toward a relationship. They see if mixing their two lives is something that can work.

And before he was in this "relationship", he was talking to and texting Michelle almost everyday.

There aren't enough hours in the day to do that with multiple people, so I just really doubt the validity of this new girlfriend.

I don't expect they'll last long because they have no foundation. And when they are done, he'll probably be back to Michelle, trying to explain how he made a mistake.

I hope she tells him to go suck an egg. Well that's not fair. It will depend on how she feels about him at that time. But still, that would be funny if she did.

Moving on to the next. There is this guy who I will call Terrence. He is Michelle's ex. He is due home next week I believe.

Where has he been? In the Armed Forces. She is very much looking forward to his return home. I"m sure that will make for some interesting stories because they have a very intense relationship.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Big Bad Thursday: Drama Free Is Their Signature Style

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***
Quick Recap [My last post about Bad was at the beginning of last month. It was mostly just a status update because things are going well for them. They have a happily drama-free relationship] Read Big Bad Thursday posts

Since my last post, not much has changed. I love that Bad and Jordan are my drama free friends. No crazy fights, no suspicion of breaking up around every turn. They are an inspiration.

But being drama free doesn't make them boring. They go out and they definitely are fun to be around.

Something else I love about them is that they can be separate from each other. Unlike Sonny and Cher, I see Bad without Jordan. They are still their own people.

Bad has finished his school semester or quarter rather. Jordan's semester will be done soon. So now they are working on holiday plans. She's going back to St. Louis to spend Christmas with her family. I believe he's staying here in the Chicago area with his family.

But New Year's Eve, they will be together. Hopefully, they'll be with me and my friends, but I guess we'll see.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: One Wrong Guy After Another

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

I don't know if people read my quick intros about each person each day. Since they don't change much, I figure people don't.

I'd like to draw your attention to Camille's intro above. I say she has in-my-20s-dating-follies. Today's post is partly dedicated to just that.

You may remember my story about the time Camille gave her number to the butcher she met while running an errand for Malik. If not, read it here.

She had to get rid of that guy. And now she has another guy to get rid of. This guy approached her because he saw her bag with the name of her law school on it.

He asked questions about the school and expressed a desire to go there. She ended up giving him her card in case he had more questions.

And of course he began calling and texting because he "wants to be her friend." Camille attracts some weird guys, and this one is no different.

After I stopped laughing, I was able to get the whole story. He has a problem with texting her at inappropriately late times. Like 11:46 pm on a weeknight.

She told him she was available to answer more questions about law school but that she wasn't looking for any new friends.

Camille attracts... persistent... men. So of course, he didn't take the hint. To him that must have meant, "try harder stupid."

Since that time she's gotten rid of him. And now there's no one.

Except that cute law student she has the crush on. The one who can't remember her name.

During her winter break from school, I want Camille to meet some men who are not lame or just not that into her or forgetful or creepy. A nice guy who is genuinely interested in who she is as a person. Where is Hitch when you need him?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Tip Top Tuesday: More About Dan... And A Mechanical Bull

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***
Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Top was last month. I finally gave the guy who I'd been referencing a name and it was Dan. I didn't want to give him a name because he's not really in a position to ever end up in a relationship with Top. But he is kind of important in her romantic journey, so he gets a name. He's certainly more important than all the other guys I've mentioned in her life] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

This Dan guy is important. And what's better is that he's safe. By being unavailable, there is no chance she can get her heartbroken. They could never ever be together.

And also, she wasn't able to ignore him like she could most guys. Once the guys try and get to close, Top would just be done with them.

But Dan isn't some friend of a friend. Top sees him quite often, so she couldn't just pretend he didn't exist. And that fostered a friendship that had nothing to do with an attraction or desire.

Oh, and Dan isn't really her type physically. He's not the type of guy she'd normally be drawn to. She sees that as a good thing because if something hasn't worked before, why keep repeating that behavior?

But there is another guy I want to mention. This other guy does not get a name. He's just some guy she's been dating. By dating, I mean going on dates with.

This guy is there for fun purposes only it seems. But I'm amused by him and I wanted to mention him only to tell a funny story.

Top has work things in the evening occasionally. It's either for her job or for networking or whatever. But this guy she's dating is super spontaneous.

He'll just call or pop up and suggest they hang out. Top is pretty spontaneous, so she'll just go with is usually.

But one evening, she had a work thing to get ready for and No Name Date Guy pops up wanting to hang out. She figures she has time to spend with him and still get ready so she says yes.

Then suddenly it's time to get ready for the work thing. Top tells No Name Date Guy his time is up and suddenly she has less than an hour to get ready and on her way.

The work thing she was going to had an odd theme. She could either wear Western clothes or cocktail clothes. She and I were on the phone for like 35 minutes trying to sort it out.

Normally, Top would have that sorted much sooner and been on her way. This No Name Date Guy is a bit of a distraction, but in a fun way.

I know what you're thinking, did she go cocktail or Western? Even though the lure of riding a mechanical bull was strong, Top ended up going cocktail.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Gloria's Romantic Monday: A More Appropriate Man To Date

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***
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Quick Recap [My last post about Gloria was back at the beginning of the month. I've only written two posts about her, so I suggest you re-read them to get more familiar with her again. I haven't written in three weeks because of a number of reasons, but certainly not because things haven't been happening with her. Unfortunately she only has one day a week, but I should be able to catch up in the next couple of weeks. So back to this last post. I wrote a brief history of Gloria and Rufus. Long story short, he sucks, but he is her son's father and that means she does what she needs to in order to make that work.] Read Romantic Monday posts.
Now I get to do something fun and explain her history with Gregory. Gloria and Gregory work together at a job they both are not fans of.

Originally, it didn't seem as if either were interested in the other. But a hilarious incident at work (Gloria is good at laughing at herself while everyone else is too) led him to want to get to know her better.

There was some instant messaging back and forth. I remember when Gloria first mentioned Gregory. She didn't describe him as "my future husband". It was more like "he's cool so far".

But over time, their romance really blossomed. She started speaking of him with little twinkle lights in his eyes.

When she shared stories, the super single ones in our group were like, "ugh," so I know the stories were sweet and possibly romantic.

Some details about Gregory: he's sort of a quiet person, he also has a son, he has a great sense of humor.

He has these moments where he doesn't say much, especially when around new people or when upset. But when he does open his mouth, things worth listening to come out.

Gregory's son is older than Gloria's son. They spent the majority of their relationship not mixing their families. The sons spending time around each other is a very new phenomenon.

Like a lot of one-parent homes, Gloria has her son with her most of the time. Gregory only has his son with him part of the time. So Gregory got very familiar with Gloria's son, but she wasn't so familiar with his.

But to fast forward a bit, they are totally happy with each other and planning their future together. Gloria and Gregory are discussing marriage and having more children.

That child will be a part of the most blended family ever. It would have two half brothers who each have a half brother. Gregory's son's mother has another son too. Birthday parties will be quite interesting once they're older.

So, in future posts, I will get more into what's going on currently in Gloria's love life. I'm pretty sure she will be the first one down the aisle of everyone I write about in The Medley.

Yes, she'll even beat already-engaged Sonny and Cher. They aren't tying the not until 2012 I think.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sonny's Sunday: Happy Happy Happy Birthday To You!

***Sonny is an old friend of mine. We went to elementary, middle, and high school together. He's also my friend who's doing the super-adult thing. He and his new fiancee Cher just bought a house. They're working on planning a life together. Even with all that stability, their love life is still interesting.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Sonny was two weeks ago. I was excited for his upcoming birthday celebration. Sonny and Cher have celebrated my birthday with me a couple of times over the years, but I haven't done anything with them yet. I also said how I was a bit concerned about how the family portion of that celebration would go because I've heard that Sonny's family isn't really a fan of Cher's family.] Read Sonny's Sunday posts.

One worry was alleviated. I didn't go to Sonny's family dinner thing on Friday. I didn't want to miss bowling twice in two weeks.

And it ended up not mattering because it wasn't a whole family thing. It ended up being just Sonny and Cher having a nice dinner at Maggiano's.

Michelle went with me, so that was fun. After the get together, we headed up north to see a friend of hers play in his band. I'll tell that story on my other blog.

There was one moment when literally everyone in the room was chatting with someone. All except Cher. But there was an odd number of people and all the convos were two people.

But it was still a good get together. There was even less tension than last time. I think Sonny has a very good grasp on living with Cher and vice versa.

I really feel like they've acclimated to each other and gotten past the basic living-with-someone adjustment period.

They had a lot of fun on their cruise. They've got great pictures, good food stories, and a big bottle of Mexican tequila with a worm in the bottom.

We had a toast/took a shot with the tequila which led to a lot of laughs. It had a weird after taste though. Kind of like canned meat.

I for one am feeling more optimistic about their future though. I was really very happy to see that tension fade.

I do still want to see them apart from each other. Bad joined Michelle and me for drinks later that night without Jordan. It's not a crazy notion to go places without your SO, it really isn't.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Noni's Stargazing Saturday: Things Just Keep Getting Better

***Noni is one of my really good friends from college. We were even roommates for a year and some change. But she's done with school (for now). She's starting a family with a baby boy and working on herself and her relationship at the same time. Things won't always be easy, but they're usually always interesting.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Noni was two weeks ago. I expressed concern about how she was adjusting to a love life that could no longer be described as perfect. But she was doing okay. I also spoke of her staying on track with her plans to start school back in January. She really wants to put herself in a position of stability for herself and her son.] Read Stargazing Saturday posts.

In the two weeks since that post, things have remained good. If anything they've improved. Which is fantastic news.

Before Eric didn't stay... well-behaved... for very long periods of time. But this time seems to be different.

Last week, he and Noni had a talk about him doing more to help her out around the house and with their son.

Both Eric and Noni work long hours. But when they get home at night, that's generally Eric's time to relax and unwind.

Noni usually spends that time putting the baby down, sterilizing bottles, washing clothes, cooking dinner, etc. She hasn't expressed too much frustration about doing all this alone because she's a very domestic type of chick anyway.

But out of nowhere, Eric offers to do more. He volunteers to put the baby to sleep or help with laundry, or whatever it is Noni needs from him so she is able to relax and unwind a bit before the night is over as well.

She was very much impressed by his offer and his follow-through. There is a part of her that is a bit wary of everything because things have fallen apart between them before, right around the time there started being more demands on Eric's time.

I certainly can understand her apprehension. That's why I'm so happy for her that for now, things are going well. Eric is doing more around the house. They are spending this new free time she has during the evening together.

Eric and Noni are strengthening their relationship and their home. Nothing like raising a child in a stable home. At least that's what I hear.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Introducing Darren

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Michelle texted or IM'd or had some sort of conversation with Michael last week. She let him know she was coming to Chicago for Thanksgiving.

She gets a whole week off from school, so she drove up last night. Did Michael make plans with her when she told him she was coming? Of course he didn't.

And what is likely to happen is that sometime after Thanksgiving, he will be upset with her that he didn't see her all week. As if somehow that was able to happen outside of his control.

After my usual discussion of how much Michael sucks, I'm going to move on to someone I don't despise yet. His name is Darren.

Darren and Michelle have an interesting connection. From the time they met, there was something there. Something that drew them to each other. But it wasn't that simple. It's never that simple.

They went to different schools, but Darren has recently graduated and moved back to Chicago. And then there's that other thing besides long distance. He used to have an involvement with her cousin.

I've mentioned Michelle's cousins before. I call the Thing 1 and Thing 2 on my blogs. They're twins. Darren's involvement with one of the Things was brief, but it happened.

And it's enough to make Michelle hesitant about getting involved with this man who she finds so interesting.

She was supposed to hang out with him today. Because they get along so well, they are trying to be friends. I'm hoping that enough time will pass that eventually Michelle will get over the couple of weeks he spent talking to her cousin.

Next week, I'm hoping to have an interesting story to tell next Friday about their non-date. Either that or something else interesting that's bound to happen between now and then.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Lion's Life Wednesday: Outside Support Adds To A Relationship's Stability

***Lion is my best friend from college. He's a very focused young man working on getting his MD. This focus makes having a love life a very difficult undertaking. But he's making it happen somehow.***

Last week, I posted about Lion's life on a Thursday. He doesn't have an official day because Wednesday belongs to Camille. So that's how he ended up on a Thursday again. I had a post for Camille yesterday, but nothing for Bad today.

But while I was in St. Louis visiting Easy, I got to spend more time with Lion than I expected and we talked more about him and Rudy.

One sign of a great relationship? All your friends are in support of it.

Rudy is down in Florida and she spends a good deal of time around Lion's fraternity brothers. They all love her.

A great example of that is last Wednesday, she had a car incident. Not exactly an accident.

Rudy's tire blew out while she was driving on the expressway. She called a bunch of people to come help her, but people weren't answering her phone. One person finally answered who's in Lion's fraternity.

He's this guy who calls Lion his uncle. I guess it's because of their close relationship and difference in pledge lines or whatever. But he also calls Rudy his aunt. How cute is that?

But he showed up and changed her tire and calmed her down and got her on her way. Lion knows that his girl is well taken care of even though he's far away. But I do think he should be teaching Rudy how to change her own tire the next time she comes up here to visit.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: Completely Single Is The Assumption

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

Last week, I talked about Camille's crush. That has been fun, but it's not the substance that makes a love life.

What does make a love life? Dealing with dates and triumphs and disappointments.

You do all that so that one day, you'll end up with the love of your life and live happily ever after. Or whatever.

Camille isn't at the point of happily ever after yet. She did call Malik back. She left a message simply stating she was calling him back.

That was over a week ago. She hasn't heard back from him yet. I'm not going to say yet. I doubt she will hear back from him.

He may call just to say what's up in a few weeks. But that doesn't count because it won't be a reconciliation attempt. It'll be guy stupid-ness and habit.

But it's okay because Camille did say she was over their situation. I wasn't sure her over-ness was going to stick, but it has.

I'm glad to hear that because Malik wasn't right for her. At least not while he was behaving the way he was. So. On to the next.

There is this other guy who I mentioned waaaay back when I first started writing about Camille on this blog. You can read the post here.

His blog name is King. Camille described him as the "like of her life". She ran into him last week. It kind of rekindled some thought possibilities for her.

She suggested they do lunch, but nothing has come of it yet. She has a super busy daytime schedule because of school though. So maybe I'll have something interesting to say about that in a few weeks.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Girls Night Out Will NOT Be Cancelled For A Man

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Since I was super busy earlier this week and didn't get around to writing a post about Camille or Gloria this week, I'll write about our girls' night out on Michelle's day.

We had dinner at Grand Lux Cafe downtown. I love that restaurant so much! We had a lot of fun talking and laughing and catching up.

We discussed plans for this upcoming New Year's Eve. Gloria let us know that she and Gregory were doing a family thing with their boys that night. Another of our friends and her boyfriend and doing a couples thing too.

The rest of us booed them and continued making our plans. We've got to figure out something. Michelle in particular expressed a desire to have a fun New Year's Eve because she's hasn't had one in a while.

After dinner, I wanted us to go out somewhere for drinks and maybe dancing so we could attract some men. But everyone was so sleepy that we just headed home. There used to a time when we never wanted to go home. Now everyone is concerned about a good night's sleep. I guess we're getting older and that's natural...

Michelle did hear from Michael last weekend though. He was upset that she didn't tell him she was coming to town. She told him she didn't think she had a reason to when he couldn't manage to make time for her the last weekend she was in Chicago which was her birthday weekend!

He was genuinely upset that she wouldn't change her plans to hang out with him or to include him in our girls' night. I don't know if she ended up seeing him before she left on Sunday, but I doubt it because we weren't done at church until almost 7 pm.

Why is it that men feel justified being upset when a woman behaves inconsistently when that inconstancy is a reaction to the man's fucking up in the first place??

The only reason Michelle didn't tell Michael she wasn't in town is because he was MIA her birthday weekend and then she didn't hear from him for weeks after that. And then he wanted her to change her plans to see him when he wouldn't do the same for her on her birthday weekend?! I just don't get it.

I'm all for second chances. But you have to draw the line when it's more like a sixteenth chance. I guess we'll see what happens. But when I pray for Michelle, one of the things I pray for is that she finds another guy to be her main focus. One who's not inconsistent, or engaged, or weird.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Lion's Life Wednesday: Special Thursday Edition Because They're In Love!!

***Lion is my best friend from college. He's a very focused young man working on getting his MD. This focus makes having a love life a very difficult undertaking. But he's making it happen somehow.***


Quick Recap [My last post about Lion was way back in August. He and Rudy just don't spend that much time together because of their school work and her job. So there wasn't much to post. But I was talking about their future and how I was worried that they didn't have one. I was definitely more concerned about it than Lion was.] Read Lion's Life Wednesday posts

Since that time, there have been some new developments. Lion has actually acknowledged that they may have an expiration date. They've had more talks about the differences in what they want out of life. He doesn't see how Rudy could ever give up on wanting children. And he doesn't see how he could ever want children.

But he does say that just is about today. They're still years away from making any decisions like that. They won't even have a chance to consider what's next until they both finish school. Maybe things will change by then. Maybe he will want children. A few years ago he didn't consider marriage as a good idea for him and that has changed.

But on to the more sappy sweet stuff. He went to visit our college and Rudy during homecoming two weekends ago. Right before he went down, he and Rudy reached a different level in their relationship. They discussed some very personal things and got closer as a couple.

And when he was down there, he told her he loved her. And she said it back of course! The story is sweet and fits them. They were just hanging out at her place and she was working on homework or something. And he just said it, no build up, no fuss to the situation. And then they moved on with their day.

That will never be a scene in a romantic comedy unless it stars that chick from Juno, but I couldn't imagine Lion and Rudy saying I love you in any other way.

Now that there's officially love involved, I'm hoping that means they're each more invested in the relationship and will work that much harder to make things work in the long term.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: A Schoolgirl Crush is Still Fun

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

Last week, I wrote about Camille's new crush. Well, he's not a brand new crush, but he was new to this blog last week. This is something I find incredibly fun for a couple of reasons.

I just think crushes are cute to begin with. And Camille is one of my friends who is usually pretty serious. By serious, I don't mean boring, I just mean she's not very silly, she's mature. But I like the silliness that comes along with a crush. Silliness suits her in this situation.

Since Malik isn't completely out of the picture, I suppose I should update. Camille had a school event last week. Malik called her during that event, I'm assuming because he didn't expect that she would be busy at that time. She didn't answer the phone right then.

I suggested she text him to see what he wanted since he didn't leave a voicemail. She said that was rude and she would call him later. I haven't asked her about it in a couple of days, but she hadn't called him back yet. If she does, I'll let you know next week if he had anything important to say. Don't hold your breath.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Sonny's Sunday: Cruising Into A Birthday Celebration

***Sonny is an old friend of mine. We went to elementary, middle, and high school together. He's also my friend who's doing the super-adult thing. He and his new fiancee Cher just bought a house. They're working on planning a life together. Even with all that stability, their love life is still interesting.***

Quick Recap [It's been quite a while since I wrote about Sonny. My last post was in late September. In that post, I wrote about attending a game night he and Cher threw at their house. I talked about them settling into a home life and how I was pleased that they didn't seem to have the tension I noticed the last time I saw them before that. I did express concern that Cher was a bit controlling, but that if any guy could work with that situation it would be Sonny.] Read Sonny's Sunday posts.
 
Since that post, I haven't really had much to update simply because Sonny has been so busy. But from what I can gather, he and Cher are doing well.

They are going on a cruise next week. I was supposed to take them to the airport, but now they're just going to park at the airport. I really hope they don't change their minds at the last minute, cause that would suck since I've decided to go down to St. Louis next week to visit Easy.

But I will see them soon. Sonny's birthday is November 19th. His family is doing a dinner thing that day. And he and Cher and doing a little get together at their house the night after. I'm invited to both, which is awesome. I love his family, and I haven't spent time with his sisters in forever.

The only concern I have about that family dinner is how my interactions with them will compare with Cher's. I've been around for 22 years, she's only been around for like 2.5 years. They like me, and from what I hear, they don't like her. I haven't seen proof of this, I've only heard.

But it would be horrible if Sonny's sisters were super nice to me (like they usually are) and kind of rude to Cher (like I've heard they can be). This is not an issue I've had to deal with because Bad's family loves Jordan. And Lion's family loves Rudy.

Maybe it'll be a great night for all since it will be his birthday. But I guess we will see in two weeks.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Noni's Stargazing Saturday: Who Ever Heard Of A Smooth Sailing Roller Coaster?

***Noni is one of my really good friends from college. We were even roommates for a year and some change. But she's done with school (for now). She's starting a family with a baby boy and working on herself and her relationship at the same time. Things won't always be easy, but they're usually always interesting.***


In last week's post, I expressed concern for Noni's love life. She described things as perfect. Usually that's a good thing. But for Noni, it wasn't.

She was so worried that things had no where to go but down. Perfect meant it couldn't get any better. And in Noni's world, when things go down, they go waaaaay down.

But I am happy to report that things are no longer perfect, nor are they horrible. She describes things with Eric as good. Good was the best word I could have heard from her mouth. Because things weren't perfect, there wasn't that worry that the rug would be pulled from under her at any second.

That also meant her desire to sabotage things was also gone. But her plan to gain independence and continuing to pursue her goals is still in place. That awful job she's working is giving her the money she needs to get back in school starting in January.

Her plan has altered a bit. She's no longer planning on leaving town to go to school. At least not definitely. For right now, she has set herself up to enroll in a school that's where she and Eric now live and upstate where her brother lives.

If things are going well with Eric when it's time to start school, she will stay. I hope that works out for her because keeping her family together while also finishing school is the ideal situation. Eric never seems to stay "good" for long, but he really doesn't wanna Noni to move away for a year. He will probably be on his best behavior until she starts classes at least.

But even if he turns horrible halfway through January, at least she'll be living in the same city as her son's father, and he can help with the raising of that son while she finishes school. So either way, it's a win-win for Noni's plan.

She wants her son to be proud of her that she made a lot of sacrifices to give him the life he deserves. The way she's going so far, I think he will be very proud.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Be Careful What You Ask For

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

In last week's post, I expressed an interest in Michelle reconnecting with a guy from her past during the past weekend. There was a black student reunion at her college.

I figured there would be an interesting story or two to come out of it. I didn't want that story to be about bad shoes guy. The story definitely wasn't. It was completely about reconnecting with a guy from her past. Who's now engaged. And has a child with the fiancee.

Like I said, this is an interesting story.

So this guy comes to town for the reunion. And he's on Michelle. He wants to spend time with her and he wants some of that time to be alone time. This of course leads to a discussion of why he's messing with fire and temptation. His response? "I'm not married yet."

That's the worst thing he could've said. He made some idiot statements about how engagement is still so far from marriage, it's barely one step above dating. Michelle (and I) happens to strongly disagree with that.

Then a discussion begins of why he's even getting married if he feels so nonchalantly towards it. His response? He basically said the fiance deserves or has earned his hand in marriage cause of the kid and all the time invested thus far.

If your reason for getting married can be turned into an insult during divorce proceedings (i.e., I only married you cause we'd been together for so long already and plus you got pregnant), you should find another reason to be married.

All of this was pretty difficult for Michelle to hear because this is a guy she was really into. And he is giving all the perfect jerky statements that could make a chick throw caution (and concern for the future of his marriage) to the wind. But she didn't give in.

It's always a problem when the person more concerned about preserving a relationship is the one who could potentially be the other woman. But this man's shortcomings aside, Michelle definitely had an interesting weekend last week.

She'll be in town tomorrow and I'm looking forward to our dinner out. We're having a girls night with Michelle, me, Gloria, Camille, and two other women from our church we hang out with a lot. I'm sure that will produce and interesting story as well.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Big Bad Thursday: Smooth Sailing From Here To The Horizon

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Bad was at the end of September. I was talking about how things were sailing along smoothly with him and Jordan. I also expressed excitement about our upcoming birthday party (we celebrated our birthdays in a joint party with Michelle) on my main blog. And I said how I was missing spending time with him cause he was busy nesting, working, and being a student.]. Read Big Bad Thursday posts.
It had been a while since I've seen Bad and Jordan, and even longer since I've been to their apartment. I was looking forward to Jordan helping make it look lived in. And it finally is looking like a real apartment. They have a table with four chairs. And they have a desk. And they have lamps. There are even a few decorative touches.

And they seem very settled into being with each other. It was a concern in the back of my head how they would transition from living in different states to living together. They've spent the majority of their relationship long-distance. But they have transitioned well it seems. They don't have any tension under the surface that I could tell. And they have this comfort like a couple who's been together for while.

And they are so much fun together and alone. I didn't have any concerns about that though. If they had turned into one of those couples that finish all each other's sentences and can't go to the bathroom without each other, I would have been horribly surprised.

So now of course I'm thinking about what's next for them. I'm probably the only one of the three of us who are though. They seem to be very comfortable with where they are now and just interested in continuing to settle into and build this life as shacking up, working grad students.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Camille's Wishful Wednesday:How To Spice Up Your Time In The Library

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***


Camille has a crush on this guy at her law school. He's so dreamy. That's what she keeps saying about him.

And this is a true crush. Most of what she knows about him is info gathered from other people. She does extra little things to catch his attention. The bulk of their convos take place on the law school's library elevator.

I love crushes. They're a fun way to add some spice to an otherwise boring situation. Camille spends a lot of time in her law school's library, so having a crush there who also spends a ton of time makes for some interesting IMs throughout the day.

Here's one: "I was just in the library and that guy was in there :). I held the elevator for him twice and he commented on how fast I move. Lol. Then we has a mini convo as we walked to our lockers. He soooooooo dreamy, ;) lol."

I don't think this crush will be going anywhere, but it's still so cute. And the best part about those IMs? They weren't about Malik. Camille still hasn't heard from him. Good riddance, I say.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Gloria's Romantic Monday: You + Me + Baby Does NOT Make Three

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***


Last week was my first post about Gloria, though I've mentioned her a number of times in my main blog or in posts I've written about Camille or Michelle. In that post, I just wanted to introduce her. So now, I'll try and give some background on the men in her life. Because Rufus just sucks, I'll get him out of the way first.

Gloria met Rufus a few years ago. He was first described as this great guy who really had his shit together. He had a pretty good job and he was stable. He had his own place. And he had no kids. He was charming, good looking, funny, and sweet. The way Gloria made him sound, we all knew we'd love him.

They dated for a while and a lot of negative traits began to come to the surface. Rufus is a man that really doesn't know how to treat a woman. I'd like to place the blame for that at his mother's feet. And he has a scary temper. Gloria also has a temper, but it's really really hard to make her mad. But when those two are mad at each other at the same time, it's not pretty.

And then Gloria gets pregnant. During her pregnancy, she had a lot of animosity toward Rufus, mostly because of his shortcomings concerning the pregnancy. They made a decision that he would be an active father and help out where he could and he's stuck to that plan more or less. He spends time with his son and contributes something to the cost of raising him. He could do more, but he does do something.

Rufus also has another son who is very close in age to Gloria's son. Her son just turned 2. Rufus' other son is 1. I know what you're thinking. Overlapping pregnancies? You'd be right. And his other son's mother was living with him while she was pregnant and after she had the baby.

The craziest part of Rufus and Gloria's history? He keeps telling her he wants to be with her and make a family with their son. This is while he was still living with the mother of his other son. This is while he knows Gloria is dating Gregory. This is while he's still exhibiting a horrible temper that makes one think he should never engage in intimate relationships. This is all adding up to a conclusion that this man must have a loose grip on reality.

When someone says, "I don't want to date you. I don't love you. We will never be together.", only a crazy person would take that as, "try harder stupid." And let's say that's really how Rufus took it and he's not just being a contrary asshole. He's hasn't actually tried harder. He's just doing more of the same.

I'd love to move on to Gregory right now because he's awesome. But this post is getting too long as it is, so you'll have to wait until next week.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Noni's Stargazing Saturday: Back Up To The Top Of The Roller Coaster

***Noni is one of my really good friends from college. We were even roommates for a year and some change. But she's done with school (for now). She's starting a family with a baby boy and working on herself and her relationship at the same time. Things won't always be easy, but they're usually always interesting.***


Quick Recap [The last time I wrote about Noni, it was over a month ago. I wrote about how she was having a very difficult time in her relationship with Eric. Because of financial reasons, they were living separate and it wasn't going well. She had come up with a plan to keep her life on track and gain some independence.] Read Stargazing Saturday posts.

Things have improved for Noni. Right now, we're on a high of the roller coaster that is her love life. She's been back living with Eric for about three weeks now. He was finally able to secure them a place to live that works for him, her, and their son. Noni was able to get the job she wanted that would allow her to save a lot of money.

I'm so proud of her that she's sticking to her plan to gain some independence. And Eric is in with the plan. He likes that she's doing what she has to to finish school by the end of next year. He's supporting her. And things are much better between them. He's holding himself accountable for his whereabouts.

Noni and I have this thing we do where we describe what a perfect world would be for us in that moment. The perfect world she would describe is the one she has right now. It wouldn't be perfect for everyone, but she's really happy. And she's also terrified. She feels like things never stay good for long in her life. Experience has shown her that things never stay good, and when they go awry, they go horribly wrong. Since I've known her, that's been pretty much true. But I'm hoping that's not what happens now.

She has moments that I think a lot of people have when it seems like things are too good to be true. She feels like sabotaging things so they aren't so perfect. Because if you can describe a situation as "good, but it has it's problems" then you can handle it. But if everything feels perfect, there's nowhere to go but down. But she hasn't sabotaged anything yet.

For now, Noni has her schedule going where she wakes up in the morning, gets her son and Eric's other son to their day cares, and she heads to work. Then she gets home from work and has family time and then gets up and does the same thing the next day. I'm just glad she's happy right now. And I hope the next time I write a post about Noni, I'm still singing that tune.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Partying Alone? Not If She Can Help It

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***


I ended my last post about Michelle on a hopeful note. I was hopeful that soon, I would be able to write about something other than how much guys suck. That is not the case yet.

Michael sucks! He just does. I will be a much happier person when Michelle is done with him for ever and I never have to ask about him again. By not asking about him, I won't have to hear a disappointing answer. That will be a great time.

Michelle is coming to visit Chicago next weekend and we were discussing maybe going out to dinner and having a girls' night out. That sounds like fun, but we've got to find a party to go to as well.

I guess I'm not really looking for anyone for myself (I've pretty much decided it's much less stressful to only date one person at a time), but it will be fun to try and help Michelle find someone. So I have to figure out where we should go for drinks/dancing after dinner. Spontaneity is good, but to ensure a successful manhunt, there should be planning.

This weekend, Michelle's school is having this black student reunion. She's been looking forward to this for a while now. So maybe this weekend will yield an interesting story.

Michelle met this guy while out with a friend a few weeks ago. But she said he had horrible shoes, was kind of short, and acted a bit odd. I'm hoping she doesn't run into him again while she's out this weekend. What I'd like to see happen is for her to reconnect with some guy she had interest in who isn't on campus anymore. That would be more exciting, don't you think?

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Camille's Wishful Wednesday:Regression, Remorse, and Roller Coasters, Oh My!

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

Last week, I told a funny story about Camille accidentally picking up a butcher-man while running an errand for Malik. I'm pretty sure she has forbid him from reading my blog, so I'm thinking he still doesn't know about it. It's probably for the best. So butcher man is a person of the past.

So now it should be free and easy sailing with Malik right? Of course not. Because he can't manage to keep it together for more than a short amount of time. I'm not saying Malik is a horrible guy. I'm saying that perhaps he and Camille have very different ideas of how a courtship is supposed to go.

So here's what happened: last Saturday, Camille went to get herself some food, but it was enough for two people. Malik said he was hungry and had just gotten off work, so she offered to bring her food to him and share with him.

He kept talking about having to go to the gym and being off schedule. She figured since she drove all the way to him that he would wait a bit to spend more time with him. She basically was there only long enough to eat and watch him get ready for the gym. When she asked him outright to wait to go to the gym, he said no, citing the importance of keeping his schedule.

Camille was pissed. They're not at the point where she stays at his house when he isn't there, so she left when he left, even though he'd only be gone for an hour. He was trying to make conversation before he left, but she was pretty upset and didn't say much. She basically left while he wasn't expecting it. He was standing on the sidewalk watching her drive away (that sounds familiar...).

Camille sent Malik a BBM later to tell him she thought he was rude. He apologized, but they haven't spoken since. She hasn't even really had the desire to reach out to him to see what's up. That's a far cry from what was going on three weeks ago with her emotions regarding him.

Camille told me her usual pattern is to really like a guy when they first start talking and then for those feelings to fizzle out even before they end things. I can imagine if they all have see-saw behavior like Malik, that would be the case over and over again. Only two men have inspired her to still like them before things ever ended. Malik isn't one of them.

If Malik doesn't reach out to her, I don't know that she'll reach out to him. Maybe things between them will just fizzle out like her feelings seem to have. Which sucks because I like Malik when I met him, and I had hope for him. I'm just relieved that Camille will not be pining over this man who insists on engaging in I'm-just-not-that-into-you behavior.

Selfish ass! If he had to stick to his schedule, he should've got his own food instead of having Camille schlep all the way to him to share hers! I just got mad about that. Seriously, who the hell does that? Malik is officially a selfish ass in my book. A thoughtless, selfish ass. And Camille deserves better.

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