Gloria's Romantic Monday: Looking For Improvement

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.*** Read Romantic Monday posts.

In my last post, I talked about how Gloria and Gregory had broken up and how things seemed to be in such a state as not being able to improve.

I talked to Gloria about it again and they're trying to make it work. She's found the root of their problems to boil down to neither of them ever wanting to be wrong. Little disagreements escalate to a point and it seems too hard to keep fighting. Fighting for the relationship that is.

She was over the house with Camille and Michelle. We, along with Easy, just caught up. It's been a while since I got to catch up with my girls outside of a festive occasion. It was also nice not to mention the word wedding once.

Easy and I talked to her about how a couple can come back from no matter how bad things seem and no matter what any one person has done as long as someone is fighting for the relationship. When both people are weary, that doesn't work. At least one person has to rally the troops.

I think things may improve because they have identified their major problems. They're going to work on not letting fights escalate and communicating better. I hope they get things together.

On another note, Gloria's son's father, Rufus, still sucks. They worked out this custody agreement that she wasn't too keen on. But she did it for her son. And now Rufus isn't holding up his end of the bargain. He doesn't pick up or drop off his son when he's supposed to. He cancelled a doctor's appointment for him without telling her! Who does that? I don't know what will make him act like a sane being. But I'm just glad their romantic days are long behind them.

On yet another note, Gloria is still looking for a good job. There aren't a lot of available jobs that pay more than $10/hr, which sucks so much. Cross your fingers that her luck changes.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: The Roller Coaster Continues

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Quick Recap [In my last post, I spoke of how Gloria and Gregory were in a tough spot. He wasn't really doing what he needed to do to make her feel like a priority.]Read Romantic Monday posts.

Since that time, things haven't gotten better. They broke up a couple days ago. It seems to be not a permanent break up though. Gregory told Gloria shortly after they broke up that he was still very much in love with her.

He also said that he wasn't used to the tumultuous nature of their relationship. I could totally understand that sentiment of his since Easy and I had a similar issue recently.

I told her how we worked it out. I encouraged her to stay strong and to let him know that he couldn't suggest a break-up every time things got rough between them. I'm hoping for a happy ending to this situation.

When they're good, they're really good. I'm hoping they can get back there soon.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Back Off The Right Track

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Quick Recap [In my last post, I spoke of how Gloria and Gregory had gotten back on track after a rough patch. I was very happy because I'm in full support of them as a couple] Read Romantic Monday posts.

Since that time, things have gotten rocky again. It makes me very sad to say this. Gloria has decided she needs to have the "priorities" talk with Gregory. It's never an easy to have that conversation.

I've had it with an ex or two myself and that crap hardly ever ends well. Usually, the guy responds with apathy instead of the empathy and profuse apologies he <i>should</i> be responding with.

I don't know what's going to happen. Without going into too many details, I can say that Gregory is digging himself into quite a hole. I hope he's the exception and will turn around his priorities. No one should have to be in a relationship in which they're not a priority.

It's all good to work long hours and do what you have to keep your life on track, but there needs to be a balance.

Cross your fingers for this couple. I like having my friends in grown-up relationships.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Back Together Again

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Gloria was two weeks ago. I talked about how she was feeling that things weren't going well between her and Gregory. I also talked about her job interview.] Read Romantic Monday posts.

This past Friday, Gregory took off work early and visited Gloria. They spent some much needed time together. Nothing like a little TLC to get a relationship back on track.

When she told me she wasn't coming to my girls' night out, I wasn't upset because I knew she had a good reason. Gregory has been so busy with work, she was feeling seriously neglected.

I told her I was relieved they had gotten back on track cause I was worried she was going to break up with our favorite boyfriend.

Gloria reassured me she hadn't been considering doing that. That made me happy because Michelle and I were very worried.

So Gregory has reassured Gloria of his affections.

About the job interview, she didn't go. She had some stuff out sort out first and that gave her time to look up the company online. They don't have any good reviews. Only bad. How can a company have only negative reviews? I don't know, but I'm certainly glad she chose not to go to the interview.

Hopefully she can soon work out the job issue so she can have some stability going into the next step for her and Gregory.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Things Fall Apart

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Gloria was back at the end of May. In it I talked about what I imagined for her in a perfect world. It wasn't based on reality, just what I wish her life were like. I like doing that from time to time. It's a good way to observe where your life is in relation to how you could imagine what it could be.] Read Romantic Monday posts.

Since that time, I've actually caught up with Gloria on the status of her relationship. She's feeling pretty stressed these days. Things aren't going well between her and Gregory. His job has him working so many days a week and during night at that.

She's feeling very unsatisfied and it has her questioning their relationship. I know that she loves him so much and can see spending the rest of her life with him. But this rough patch is particularly rough on her right now. She's trying to figure out the best way to handle this immense feeling of neglect. I hope she comes up with something that leaves her relationship intact because I lover her and Gregory together so much.

On another note, Gloria has a job interview today. It's too bad I won't be able to update how it went until next week, but that's the nature of how I've set this blog up. She seems pretty excited about it. It's not her dream job, but it would give her some financial stability along with the means to finally grind it out and finish her degree. Keep your fingers crossed that it goes well!

I may have mentioned that Gloria and her son's father Rufus have entered in a new custody agreement. In this agreement, she has all her weekends free now. Because her son is with his father every weekend, she suddenly has all this free time on her hands. I think it's been a mostly positive change because she gets to spend some more time with her friends and family, as well as with herself. If only Gregory had more time, she'd really be able to spend time with him.

On the whole though, things are looking up for Gloria. The potential for her summer is improving. A chance for alone time (though she misses her son when he's gone), a chance at income, a chance to begin finishing school are all great things. Now if only Gregory could get a new job.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: In A Perfect World

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.*** Read Romantic Monday posts.

If the world were perfect, this post would be giving info about how Gloria's birthday and birthday party went. But since my PC is temperamental, I am writing this post way in advance at work, and I don't get back until Tuesday night, so you'll have to wait until next week.

Instead, I'm just going to make stuff up. My girl Noni and I started this game in college we called "In A Perfect World." It's not a hard game to play. The only directions is that everyone who plays the game has to give a completely honest portrayal of how they envision their life in terms of what they consider perfect in that exact moment. It has to be based in reality, but it can be quite fantastic as well.

This usually involves something about our love lives, class/work, family, friend, money, physical possessions, religion, etc. No one was talking about suddenly having the ability to fly, but we were saying things like, "in a perfect world, the ex of the guy I like would suddenly pack her bags and move to Finland."

So now that you know how to play the game, I'm going to say what my "in a perfect world" would be for Gloria, if it were up to me how to make her world perfect.

In a perfect world, Gregory, Gloria's boyfriend, would somehow have Saturday night off and be free to come to her party. Or better yet, he'd show up after the rest of us arrived and surprise her. He'd kiss her, tell her he loved her so much, and then drop to one knee.

She'd be surprised not only because he was there, but because he'd dropped to one knee. She had plans of fussing because he still hadn't delivered her birthday gift and she was feeling neglected. He would tell her he knew she was expecting something great for her birthday, and he couldn't think of anything greater than making it official and telling the world that he wanted her to be his wife.

There would be chilled champagne for a toast and we would all rejoice with her that her birthday gift from the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with was a 3 carat diamond.

But his birthday gift wouldn't stop just there. Gregory would inform Gloria that a moving truck would be at her grandparents' house in the morning to move her stuff to their new place.

While they were moving, she would get a call from a lawyer, promising he had the perfect solution to her problems with Rufus, and he wouldn't be full of crap.

And when she sets up the Internet in her new apartment, there would be an e-mail waiting to be read from a great job, asking her in for an interview. That job would have steady hours with good pay, plus tuition reimbursement. Because of the steady hours, she'd be able to sign up for evening classes to finish her degree.

Her grandparents would call and say they miss having her and her son around and offer to babysit everyday for free.

Her gym would call to say she'd won a raffle for a year of free membership with unlimited access.

And I have to throw in one outlandish thing. Gloria would wake up tomorrow to discover she's actually an acoustic guitar virtuoso.

That sounds like a perfect world to me. I wonder if it's even close to what she would come up with for herself.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Updates On Life

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Gloria was back in the beginning of April. I'm going to say, again, that I was having PC issues. I spoke of her and Gregory's plans for their near and distant future. They plan to move in together in September. They also hope to move, at some point, to Texas. But Gloria's son's father, Rufus, is opposed to the move to Texas, so they were gearing up for a fight about that.] Read Romantic Monday posts.

A lot has happened since that post. All us girls went with Gloria to the courthouse in downtown Chicago for support for her. She's been back to the court a few times and a number of things have been sorted out with Rufus. He's now on record saying he's completely opposed to Gloria moving to Texas. He has also stated he wants to get their son a passport to take him on some trips around and out of the country. She's against that.

But also, they worked out a joint custody agreement and a child support agreement. So Gloria is getting (forced) help from Rufus to take care of their son and he's spending real time with his son every weekend.

Gregory is being supportive of Gloria because there's not much else he can do. He takes good care of her and has a great relationship with her son. When September rolls around, I think they'll be a nice happy family, along with Gregory's son.

In happier news, Gloria's 26th birthday is in a couple of days! She's planning on having a nice evening at home with Gregory the day of her birthday. All of us are going out next weekend. I, happily, have all of next weekend off, so I will be there to help celebrate.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Making Concrete Plans When Possible

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Read Romantic Monday posts.

Last week, I wrote a post about Gloria and Gregory and how the plans they had for their immediate future were dependent on their current situation, particularly financially. I linked to some interesting websites that offered more to say about the subject.


This week, I want to talk about their relationship as it currently stands, and more concrete plans for the future that don't depend so much on their current financial situation.


I mentioned in my main blog that we had an impromptu girls' night at Gloria's house last Thursday, while we were there, Michelle asked Gloria if the honeymoon phase was over. It was like TV with all the drama and the question leading to a tearful answer about the disappearance of sex and romance and everything that made you fall in love in the first place.


Gloria was pretty realistic about the urgency that had dissipated to a certain extent. But the physical aspect of their relationship was just as great as ever, it's just that now they found an ability to actually leave the bed and do other stuff sooner rather than later. She felt just as close to Gregory as ever. And she feels like their commitment to each other is as strong as ever.


Gregory and she feel the same way about their relationship. They both love each other and intend to be together forever. They feel like they've found the one and don't want to let go. Ever.


They have made a decision about their close future based on the unavailability of other options. They have decided they don't like living apart anymore and they are moving in together. They've set the time for September. I expect to be helping Gloria move come this September and that makes me so happy. She's definitely one who feels my pain on living with the people who raised you and how that can stifle your ability to feel like a real adult. Her people are not at all over bearing, and they're a big help with her son, but it's just nice to be able to take care of yourself.


Gloria is really looking forward to making this plan happen. Signing a year lease will push back them gathering their things and leaving to Texas as quickly as she might have hoped, but at least they will be together. And because they're not leaving the state yet, they are able to avoid the fight that is sure to come with Gloria's son's father, Rufus. They will not have to work so hard to find time for each other because going hom will mean coming home to each other. I'm excited for them and this new possibility. And I really hope nothing happens to upset this plan as September approaches.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Having The Means To Make It Happen

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Read Romantic Monday posts.

Last week, I talked about Gloria's wedding that will happen at some point in the future. It will be sooner rather than later. As in, at some point in the next two years. I talked a bit about bridesmaids and the fact that Gloria will probably not have any.


This week, I don't have anything new to report. Of course, that doesn't mean there's anything new, I just don't know anything new to add to the blog. Therefore, I'm going to do my thing out on the internet, seeing what I could find that would relate to Gloria's current romantic situation.


Google search term #1: waiting to get married.
Found: all types of crazy stuff. Everything from people waiting to get married until homosexuals have equal rights under the law to people encouraging waiting til after age 25 because of divorce statistics. There was even this one trippy article about this woman lambasting early marriage but offering a disclaimer of her mother's and father's multiple marriages. I'm going to try again.


Google search term #2: marriage without a wedding.
Found: Some interesting articles about not having the means to get married, which sort of applies to Gloria and Gregory. Actually, reading it further it sounds just like them (except the common law marriage thing in NY).

It was in Yahoo Answers. You can read it here. There was another article where a woman was talking about a man who was refusing to have an engagement or a wedding, he just wanted to go to a courthouse. That definitely sounds nothing like Gregory.


I think the first article is the one I'll go with. The woman in the Yahoo Answers thing talks about wanting to make what they have official because they have children. Gloria has a son and so does Gregory. Gloria is interested in making what they have official and starting their family together instead of still operating as two different family units.


If they had the means to, I know they'd probably be married--or at least engaged--already. But I don't know how far from "the means" they can be before Gregory is still trying to wait to see if the situation improves.


I just don't even understand this sentiment. I think it's better to build together rather than build separately and try to combine. But that's just me. I guess we'll see what will happen with Gloria and Gregory.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Bridesmaids And Weddings

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Read Romantic Monday posts.

Last week, I spoke a bit about Gloria's trip to Texas, and I have bad news about the hopeful ending to last week's post. Gloria is more sure than ever that she wants to move to Texas. She really hates the cold and after her trip, that type of climate is right up her alley.

I talked about the schools and the ever-decreasing budget, and she said there were pockets with good schools, and she'd just move there. I'm so sad that she's planning on leaving. I guess it's good because that means I'll have somewhere great to go visit. Also, I can't be selfish. I'm talking about moving to St. Louis and then to New York City. She can certainly go to Texas.


Gloria is one of my favorite people to talk to about the future. She's in a similar boat that I am. She and Gregory have been together for less than a year, yet they are sure the other is The One and they have plans to get married sooner rather than later, but they aren't officially engaged yet.


Gloria wants something very different from what I want though. She's being very realistic about her and Gregory's financial situation and the fact that they both have small boys. She's decided that she doesn't want a big fancy wedding, or even a reception. She just wants to stroll over to the church with wedding license in hand, a couple of close friends and family, and get married on the day of their choosing without all the stress, planning, and financial burden.


That led to an interesting conversation about bridesmaids because Gloria doesn't intend to have them. From what she said, I gathered that her boyfriend Gregory also doesn't mind if they have this wedding and he doesn't have to choose groomsmen. I think he'd like to give Gloria a nice wedding, but he's not so for it that he's against her super small wedding idea.


So back to Gloria and her lack of bridesmaids. One of the girls in our group, who I'm pretty sure I've never mentioned by name, has been asked to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of another girl from our church who recently got engaged. We were all surprised, asking if they were even friends and how the rest of us had missed that. She didn't explain, but said that she had agreed, especially since the wedding wasn't to be until 2013. She figured she could purchase a dress and show up the day of the wedding with no extra fuss. I'll be interested to see if it turns out that way or not.


The discussion then turned to whether or not you had to ask certain people to be bridesmaids even if you weren't close friends. And also should you ask someone back to be a bridesmaid just because you were a bridesmaid in their wedding. All I'm saying is, Gloria is very lucky that she will probably not have bridesmaids when she gets married. Our little close group of friends from our church has done a good job of having our friendships transfer from being teenagers to being adults. But there are some of us within the group who were never very close.


Gloria doesn't have to deal with that whole situation, or with dragging close friends in from out of town for the wedding. I know this is a lot of wedding talk for a chick who isn't even engaged yet. But I think it's good to talk about these things to make sure you're on the same page about the near future. It's no different than talking about other future things, like career plans, where to live plans, etc.


Gloria and Gregory seem to be on the same page about the big stuff, he is on board with moving to Texas. But I don't know how he feels about the wedding. Gloria just keeps saying that he wants everything to be perfect before they take the next step. I hope that's a more realistic sentiment than it sounds. I'm just excited for Gloria that she will be sooner rather than later taking a big step towards the future she's been dreaming about with a man who truly loves her.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: A Trip Out Of Town

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***
Read Romantic Monday posts.


Last week, I talked about my hope that Gloria and Gregory would have found time to spend together. But that was not to be. I forgot that Gloria was leaving town this past week. She headed to Austin, Texas on Tuesday to spend time with one of her closest friends that she grew up with. This woman lives down there with her husband and two children.


I figured that type of trip was good for Gloria because she is headed towards a life with a husband and 2+ children, so seeing it up close through the lens of one of her closest friends probably did more for her than talking about it ad nauseum with any of her friends who still live in Chicago.


Also, Gloria has been considering moving to warmer climates and Texas is at the top of the list. That terrifies me because of what they're doing to their education budget, but I guess they have good and bad schools like everyone else. And aside from education, Texas does have things to offer, especially if you love to eat or love sports (and cultural diversity).


Gloria and I were texting back and forth on Saturday night. She was ready to come home because she missed her son terribly. Also, Austin didn't seem to be providing the good time she'd hoped it would. Travelling in your mid-20s is a new world. It's not like college travelling where all you need is some food, good company, and a couple of clubs to declare the trip and success that needs to be repeated. When you're in your mid-20s, what you're leaving behind stands out and is weighed constantly against what the new place has to offer. And the whack clubs in Austin don't match up to spending time at home with her son, reading the Cat in the Hat and the Cat in the Hat Returns.


I wish Gregory could have gone with her down there. I think it would've been good for him and her to spend time in a place that could theoretically become their home. I don't know that Austin was on the list of places Gloria felt she could move to in Texas, but I figure it probably was on the list since one of her closest friends lives there. I just always think of Dallas and Houston (and maybe Fort Worth) when people say Texas.


It feels like the trip down there was an audition of sorts for Gloria. Once she's back on Chicago soil, with her son in her arms, feeling Chicago's cold ass version of Spring, I'll be interested to see what her opinion is of moving to Texas and whether it's gotten stronger or weaker. I imagine with her son and Gregory there with her, she'd have a higher opinion of the place. We'll see.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: A Small Bump In The Long Road Ahead

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Last week, I talked about a conversation Gloria and I had about knowing if he's "The One". It was an interesting conversation and one I'm sure both us of were glad to have. I certainly don't have anyone else in my life (besides Lion's other best friend Rev) who's even in a comparable relationship right now. I'm not sure if Gloria does either. I like to think our discussions about are menfolk are as helpful to her as they are to me.

One of the things we discussed for the past post and this past week were the time issues she and Gregory had. I thinking knowing how badly things can turn out (like with Rufus) makes her appreciate Gregory all the more. But it's hard to show that appreciation when you're never around a person. He's got a lot on his plate right now, and I'm pretty sure that Gregory isn't actually neglecting Gloria.  Evey time I'm over her house, she's texting him back and forth or on the phone with him.

That's not the same as actually spending face to face time with a person. In the long-term grand scheme of things, it won't be like this forever. They are transitioning to making decisions for the two of them. But the decisions made individually are still taking their effect. I just hope it's only for a short time that Gloria continues to wish they had more time together.

So for now, they're making plans for the future and Gloria is threatening to move to Alaska. I told her there is nothing for her there except hairy men who are avid outdoorsmen. How's that for a stereotype that doesn't actually sound that bad? But I can't see Gloria with an avid outdoorsman. Plus, she loves Gregory too much to start over (her words, not mine).


I hope that next week, they will have spent some good quality time together. I doubt his schedule will have improved in seven days, but I just enjoy quick resolutions to problems.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Knowing He's The One

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***


Last week, I talked about Gloria's Valentine's Day with Gregory. There wasn't much to that. But I did get to spend a whole day almost hanging out with Gloria last week and so I got a more in depth view to how she viewed her relationship.


She agrees with me that you don't need years to figure out you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. Makes me feel less like a crazy person for my feelings about Easy. But enough about me. Gloria does indeed feel that Gregory is the guy for her and the man she wants to marry and spend the rest of her life with.


That's not new news; I've discussed it in the blog before. But this was the deepest insight I got into it. Not only does Gloria feel like Gregory is the right one. He's The One. And she's already convinced that if things didn't work out between them, she'd just be done. She would give up and date no more.


I told her that was dramatic because she was only 25. And people start over at ages like 50 and 60, so 25 or 30-ish wasn't so terrible. But she explained that she just couldn't imagine going through the work of finding someone who could even possibly make her feel anything like Gregory made her feel. He landed in her lap without much effort and actually looking, really looking, for that person, would be unbearable.


Well, that sentiment I understood. When things with a person are so much easier and better than you ever thought possible, it's hard to imagine going to back to how it's been with everyone else. Work, drama, and the payoff isn't as intense.


So the question is what comes next? Deciding to spend the rest of your life is was easier than planning. Where will you live? When will you get married? What about kids? What happens if you can't pursue both people's dreams at the same time? Gloria and Gregory don't agree on the answers to all those (and other) questions. But they have agreed to find the answers together.


Even though I had a lot to write in this post, I still wanted to link to an online article that might help. I googled "he's the one" and the very first link was a WikiHow article entitled How To See If He's The One. I find some of these a bit ridiculous (I have a bad memory, sue me), but I will see how they match up with what I know about Gloria and Gregory. I want to warn that there is a lot of paraphrasing coming.


Step 1: Naturally Remember Important Dates  Um, Gloria did just tell me she doesn't know their anniversary, but that's because they don't actually have an official day. I'm gonna give half credit for that because she knows his birthday.

Step 2: No Pressure To Become Intimate This may not be the best judge cause Gloria isn't a prude with some icky three month rule about sex. But, no Gregory didn't pressure her before she was ready. This counts.

Step 3: Do You Compliment Even When He's Not His Best Oh yeah, she does this. He was growing his hair for a reason I won't repeat here. Everyone knows there is a rough patch whenever you grow your hair out, male or female or black or white, it's just rough for a while. He has no idea how rough it was for her to have to look at him and swear he looked good during that time.

Step 4: Are Your People Liking Him All of Gloria's people like Gregory. Except, of course, Rufus, her son's father. Meeting him was a joy for all the people, family, friends, offspring.

Step 5: Who Wins The "I Love You" Game I don't know if she initiates saying I love you a lot. That is some lovey dovey crap that we don't talk about. I guess I could ask her or whatever. They get a maybe.

Step 6: Talk About The Future Without Prompting Yes, they talk about their future without having it forced upon them.

Step 7: Do You Want To Exchange Keys If she lived alone, he would totally have a key. They don't spend that much time at his place, so she doesn't have a key. But they talk about living together. Some people move in for the money benefits. They only live apart because of money issues. I'll give them a half.

Step 8: Comfortable Being Completely Yourself This one's easy. Yes.

Step 9: When He Thinks You're Not Listening, Does He Still Say Great Things I don't know about this one. They get a maybe.

Step 10: Is He Controlling? Cause If So, Run! Gregory isn't the controlling type. He would never try to tel Gloria what to do. I'm sure he's sure that would be one the worst decisions he could ever make.


After all of that, they ended up with two maybes, six positive answers and six half positive answers. Not bad I'd say. Especially considering, I don't know the whole story about the all the answers. I'm so doing this quiz for Easy and I on my main blog.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Valentine's Day, What Else Matters In February?

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Gloria was in early January. There was drama in Gloria's life, particularly her romantic life with Gregory. But most of that drama came from outside the relationship between the two of them. That happens when children come into the picture. But it was the reality for them for a while.] Read Romantic Monday posts.


Since that time, Gloria has decided to stop begging Gregory to try and build this family unit with both their sons. She hasn't stopped permanently, she's just looking to not have that constant source of conflict. So she's laying off bringing it up all the time in hopes that maybe he'll take some initiative on the solution.


When it comes to Rufus, things still aren't great. Gloria has cut him off until he decides to step up and take care of all his responsibilities. It's been weeks since he's seen his son and even longer since he contributed anything to the cost and time and process of raising him. I certainly hope he treats his other son at least a little better.


Aside from those updates to the drama, I have to talk about Valentine's Day. It's always a big deal for couples who don't have some grand stance against the entire holiday. Because of their schedules, Gregory and Gloria ended up deciding to celebrate V-Day after the fact. They decided Wednesday, the 16th was their day.


Gloria didn't even expect to see Gregory on Valentine's Day. But he surprised her. He showed up at her house that night with flowers and a card. She thought it was really sweet of him. Nothing like a surprise V-Day gift to make the day feel special, even if it isn't the day you picked to be special.


Wednesday, they did get together. They had dinner, the Chicago Auto Show, ice skating, and they spent the night downtown at the Sheraton. It sounds quite lovely and pretty close to the evening Easy had planned for him and I for our V-Day celebration.


Gloria said it was nice, but said she thought the night would be more romantic than it turned out to be. I guess just from the list of activities it could or couldn't be romantic, depending on your take. But at least they spent the whole night together, doing something fun and new. I've never heard her say they've gone ice skating before.


I haven't heard much talk recently about their long-term plans. I know they talk about them, I just haven't talked to Gloria about them. Perhaps I'll do a bit of inquiry and have more to day about that next week.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Frustrating Behavior From All The Men

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Last week, I was talking about how the main drama in Gloria and Gregory's life is outside of just the two of them.

This week, I've got two shining examples of this.

The first comes from Gloria's son's father, Rufus.

I've already said that I feel like he sucks as a person, but one thing I couldn't take away from him was that he was a reasonably good father.

It turns out, that is not something he is consistently. Gloria has recently let him know that if he doesn't start doing more for his son, he will not be able to spend so much time with him.

He used to help out with his son, but recently it has become more infrequent.

And half the time he picks up his son to spend time with him, the boy ends up at his grandparents' house, not with his father.

Gloria is just tired of fighting with Rufus to keep up his end of the responsibilities it takes to raise a child.

I don't know what the next step is here for Gloria and Rufus, but I do know that he hasn't seen his son in at least a few weeks now.

The other drama involves Gregory's son. Gregory spends a ton of time around Gloria's son.

I think this is good for him because if his mother is going to marry this man, he should have a relationship with him too.

Gloria's logic is that she should have the same building relationship with Gregory's son.

She invites him to bring his son with him when he comes over quite often. At least she used to.

They had a talk about it recently. She was asking Gregory why he was so against his son spending time with her and her son.

She questioned why he didn't think it was important for them to have a relationship.

He gave a typical non-answer. You know, the kind you'd expect from a man who doesn't want to have that particular conversation.

The jury is still out on what the whole story is for that situation, but Gloria has decided to take a break from talking about it since it's really starting to bother her.

So aside from the drama of her son's father and his son, they're fine. It's just difficult to constantly deal with that type of drama.

But I'm pretty sure they will bounce back from this current drama. That's why God made communication.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Bringing In The New Year Family Style

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Gloria was forever ago. I wasn't trying to neglect my girl, but I have rarely had time to write a full post on a Monday. But that last post was about Gregory, her boyfriend. I just did a quick background of how they started dating and the particulars of their basic history. They each have a little boy and the other parent of their sons each has another son. And they are ready to move on to the next phase of their life.] Read Romantic Monday posts.

Gregory and Gloria have spent the last month or so discussing the serious possibilities of how they are going to make the rest of their lives work just the way they want.

They intend on getting married in the near future.

I thought they might beat Sonny and Cher down the aisle, but now I'm thinking they might not.

Gloria wants to have a traditional engagement even if they don't have a big fancy wedding.

That pushes things back because Gregory has to get her a ring, and he wants to get her a nice ring.

They are also discussing things like where they will live and how they will combine their families.

Gloria wants to move away from Chicago.

Gregory is okay with that plan, but he can't leave the Chicago area for at least another fifteen months.

So, it looks like they are at least on a fifteen month plan before they can start the life they've agreed they want.

But, they are still living in today's time and working on building their relationship and being happy together.

They spent a nice New Year's Eve together, at home, together. Well, they were at Gloria's home.

But Gloria, Gregory, and her son brought in the New Year together. It's actually the exact way I'd expect someone with a small child to celebrate the holiday.

Gloria and Gregory aren't as drama free as Bad and Jordan are, but their drama doesn't suggest that they may break up any day.

Their drama is more about regular life and how it may negatively impact their love life. But they are a strong couple and can handle it together.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: A More Appropriate Man To Date

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

`

Quick Recap [My last post about Gloria was back at the beginning of the month. I've only written two posts about her, so I suggest you re-read them to get more familiar with her again. I haven't written in three weeks because of a number of reasons, but certainly not because things haven't been happening with her. Unfortunately she only has one day a week, but I should be able to catch up in the next couple of weeks. So back to this last post. I wrote a brief history of Gloria and Rufus. Long story short, he sucks, but he is her son's father and that means she does what she needs to in order to make that work.] Read Romantic Monday posts.
Now I get to do something fun and explain her history with Gregory. Gloria and Gregory work together at a job they both are not fans of.

Originally, it didn't seem as if either were interested in the other. But a hilarious incident at work (Gloria is good at laughing at herself while everyone else is too) led him to want to get to know her better.

There was some instant messaging back and forth. I remember when Gloria first mentioned Gregory. She didn't describe him as "my future husband". It was more like "he's cool so far".

But over time, their romance really blossomed. She started speaking of him with little twinkle lights in his eyes.

When she shared stories, the super single ones in our group were like, "ugh," so I know the stories were sweet and possibly romantic.

Some details about Gregory: he's sort of a quiet person, he also has a son, he has a great sense of humor.

He has these moments where he doesn't say much, especially when around new people or when upset. But when he does open his mouth, things worth listening to come out.

Gregory's son is older than Gloria's son. They spent the majority of their relationship not mixing their families. The sons spending time around each other is a very new phenomenon.

Like a lot of one-parent homes, Gloria has her son with her most of the time. Gregory only has his son with him part of the time. So Gregory got very familiar with Gloria's son, but she wasn't so familiar with his.

But to fast forward a bit, they are totally happy with each other and planning their future together. Gloria and Gregory are discussing marriage and having more children.

That child will be a part of the most blended family ever. It would have two half brothers who each have a half brother. Gregory's son's mother has another son too. Birthday parties will be quite interesting once they're older.

So, in future posts, I will get more into what's going on currently in Gloria's love life. I'm pretty sure she will be the first one down the aisle of everyone I write about in The Medley.

Yes, she'll even beat already-engaged Sonny and Cher. They aren't tying the not until 2012 I think.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: You + Me + Baby Does NOT Make Three

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Last week was my first post about Gloria, though I've mentioned her a number of times in my main blog or in posts I've written about Camille or Michelle. In that post, I just wanted to introduce her. So now, I'll try and give some background on the men in her life. Because Rufus just sucks, I'll get him out of the way first.

Gloria met Rufus a few years ago. He was first described as this great guy who really had his shit together. He had a pretty good job and he was stable. He had his own place. And he had no kids. He was charming, good looking, funny, and sweet. The way Gloria made him sound, we all knew we'd love him.

They dated for a while and a lot of negative traits began to come to the surface. Rufus is a man that really doesn't know how to treat a woman. I'd like to place the blame for that at his mother's feet. And he has a scary temper. Gloria also has a temper, but it's really really hard to make her mad. But when those two are mad at each other at the same time, it's not pretty.

And then Gloria gets pregnant. During her pregnancy, she had a lot of animosity toward Rufus, mostly because of his shortcomings concerning the pregnancy. They made a decision that he would be an active father and help out where he could and he's stuck to that plan more or less. He spends time with his son and contributes something to the cost of raising him. He could do more, but he does do something.

Rufus also has another son who is very close in age to Gloria's son. Her son just turned 2. Rufus' other son is 1. I know what you're thinking. Overlapping pregnancies? You'd be right. And his other son's mother was living with him while she was pregnant and after she had the baby.

The craziest part of Rufus and Gloria's history? He keeps telling her he wants to be with her and make a family with their son. This is while he was still living with the mother of his other son. This is while he knows Gloria is dating Gregory. This is while he's still exhibiting a horrible temper that makes one think he should never engage in intimate relationships. This is all adding up to a conclusion that this man must have a loose grip on reality.

When someone says, "I don't want to date you. I don't love you. We will never be together.", only a crazy person would take that as, "try harder stupid." And let's say that's really how Rufus took it and he's not just being a contrary asshole. He's hasn't actually tried harder. He's just doing more of the same.

I'd love to move on to Gregory right now because he's awesome. But this post is getting too long as it is, so you'll have to wait until next week.

Gloria's Romantic Monday

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

I know what you're thinking, what happened to Melody's Monday? Well, Melody is single and having a bit of a crisis of career planning and family issues. That doesn't leave room for a love life to be discussed. So now I'm talking about Gloria on Monday.

I've found Gloria's love life pretty interesting for quite some time, but I didn't have an open day to talk about her. So I basically made room cause I love hearing about her love life and I think you will too. This post will be just an introduction, and in future posts, I'll talk more specifics.

Gloria is 25 years old. She's been dating Gregory for a while now, and he makes her very happy. He is our favorite guy that has come around because he's dating one of our friends. Michelle, Camille, and Bad have all met him too. We all love him. And he's really into Gloria. They're totally in love. I think she'll be the first one of us to get married.

And then there's Rufus, who we all hate. He is the father of Gloria's son, who just turned 2. Back when Rufus and Gloria first started dating, he seemed like such a good guy. Then when she got pregnant, things started to fall apart. I don't want to take away from him as a father because he's there for his son for the most part. But the way he treats Gloria sucks! And therefore he sucks too.

That's the basic info about Gloria and next week, I'll go into more detail.