Gloria's Romantic Monday: Looking For Improvement

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.*** Read Romantic Monday posts.

In my last post, I talked about how Gloria and Gregory had broken up and how things seemed to be in such a state as not being able to improve.

I talked to Gloria about it again and they're trying to make it work. She's found the root of their problems to boil down to neither of them ever wanting to be wrong. Little disagreements escalate to a point and it seems too hard to keep fighting. Fighting for the relationship that is.

She was over the house with Camille and Michelle. We, along with Easy, just caught up. It's been a while since I got to catch up with my girls outside of a festive occasion. It was also nice not to mention the word wedding once.

Easy and I talked to her about how a couple can come back from no matter how bad things seem and no matter what any one person has done as long as someone is fighting for the relationship. When both people are weary, that doesn't work. At least one person has to rally the troops.

I think things may improve because they have identified their major problems. They're going to work on not letting fights escalate and communicating better. I hope they get things together.

On another note, Gloria's son's father, Rufus, still sucks. They worked out this custody agreement that she wasn't too keen on. But she did it for her son. And now Rufus isn't holding up his end of the bargain. He doesn't pick up or drop off his son when he's supposed to. He cancelled a doctor's appointment for him without telling her! Who does that? I don't know what will make him act like a sane being. But I'm just glad their romantic days are long behind them.

On yet another note, Gloria is still looking for a good job. There aren't a lot of available jobs that pay more than $10/hr, which sucks so much. Cross your fingers that her luck changes.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Pacing In Place

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Michelle was back in June. In that post, I described life changes she was currently making. They were pretty big changes so she had a lot to look forward to in the road ahead.] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

Since that time, things have been moving at a slower pace. The job offer Michelle thought she had has been on hold. She's still waiting to hear from the internship people about a full-time position. In the mean time, she's still applying for jobs and hoping something pans out. She had a job, but the management was so terrible, no wonder they have such high turnover of employees.

On the romance front, she's still talking to the old man. I guess we'll have to give him a name since he's still around. I'll call him Mister, out of respect for his age, ha ha. It's more so how much older than her he is than his actual age. But they're still hanging and they had a talk about the state of their relationship now that she's staying in Chicago.

It basically amounted to him saying he wasn't wasting her time. I'm still not sure what that means, but I guess we'll see as time passes...

Once she gets a job, she'll be figuring out a living situation so she can be fabulous in her 20s in the city.

She's working on the GRE prep, but I'm not sure if she's taking the test in October still anymore. We'll see.

There's so much to still be decided in Michelle's world right now. I have to admit I'm excited for her because they're just so much potential there.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Changing Up The Life Plans In A Big Way

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Michelle was the second week of June. In that post I gave an update about the older man, who was still un-named in the blog. Also, I announced that Terrence had gotten married and never bothered to tell Michelle, who he was claiming his undying love for six months ago, that he was going to do that.] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

I have no updates about Terrence except to say that we all still wish that he had done better when it comes to Michelle. Moving on.

Also, no updates about the older man. He and Michelle seem to be treating their situation like a summer romance even though her whole world has just changed. So we'll see what will come of that in the next couple of weeks.

So what's the big change in Michelle's life? She has changed her mind about grad school. To complete the requirements for her undergraduate degree, she had to do an internship this summer.

The people running the internship invited her to come for a job interview this coming Monday. Michelle likes the job offer on the table a lot. She likes it enough to reconsider her plan for the next year.

Her plan was to go back to Charleston and do their one year Master's Program for her degree. She would get to skip the GRE and only spend one more year down there. That's what changed the plans she and I had to move in together and be single and fabulous in our 20s in Chicago.

But with this job offer, she is ready to stay in Chicago. She would take the GRE in October, and apply for grad school here in the city. It will take longer, but she will have a great job and tuition reimbursement. And it's so much easier to be fabulous in Chicago than it is in Charleston.

She mentioned to me how things can't go the way they were supposed to because now I'm engaged. But I think she can still do her fabulous roommates thing with her twin cousins. I think she's really happy with her decision and I'm happy for her. I love that she'll be around in the city and more accessible than she was in Charleston.

Since this blog is supposed to be about her love life, I will say I wonder how this will affect things with the older man. He has been downplaying things because he kept talking about her leaving in August. Yet, he's extremely, um, affectionate. He's doing the things guys do when they're sprung, I'll say that.

So once it settles in that she isn't leaving any time soon, I wonder if that will change his view of their relationship. I'll let you know the Friday after I know.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Terrence Is Still Terrible (aka That Jerk!)

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***
Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

Last week, I gave an update about Michelle and her older man. I don't have any new news from her, so I imagine that means things are the same as before with no change for the better or worse.

But I do have some news. Terrence has resurfaced, and not in a good way. If you clicked that link to review the history of Terrance and Michelle, you would see that they've been through a lot.

The plot thickens. Michelle's sister called her to tell her she saw on Terrence's Facebook page that he had changed his relationship status. From having a girlfriend. To being married. That's right, the man announced on Facebook that he was married.

I was like WTF. Michelle was upset by the news of course. She and Terrence have such a long history and she had to find out 3rd person through Facebook. This makes me extra glad that when I was confused about how and if to tell I was engaged, I ultimately decided to reach out to former guys and let them know myself.

Terrence didn't do that and now I think he's even more of a jerk than before. But I have so many questions. Is he married to that crazy chick from December? Did he have a real wedding? When exactly did he get married? What went into the decision not to tell people he was doing it before he did it?

There's not much to be done except to be sad. But Michelle is a glass half-full type of girl and I love that about her. She took the news as a sign that she really needed to work on herself emotionally so that she didn't feel to connected to him.

If Michelle can get past her feelings for Terrence, she feels like she would be more emotionally available when she meets new potential guys. I like that she's thinking that way because she's looking forward to a time when she'll be emotionally ready for an adult relationship with a man who's worthy of her.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: More About The Older Man

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

My last post about Michelle was just a short update on what I knew about her love life, which wasn't much.

She read that post and filled me in on more stuff about the older guy. She asked that I not name him yet until we know for sure his lasting power. I would just name him for the alphabet dates, but that would be rude, at least for now.

So instead he just gets called the older guy. I'm fine with that for now. Because everyone else who got a blog name turned out to be useless, so this guy could be wort the wait.

The reason I didn't know all the details of Michelle's love life is because she works a lot. She has an internship she's doing this summer that works a lot of hours. It's for class credit. I believe it's required for her undergraduate degree (even though she already graduated) or it could be for her Master's. But the point is, it's right in the line of career training and could present a job opportunity for as soon as she's done with school.

But back to the love life. This older guy works a lot so usually when they hang out, it's her going to his house. It wouldn't be always that way if she wasn't staying at home with her father this summer. But he looks out for her. He even gave her gas money, which was nice.

The older guy is still getting used to the idea that Michelle is so much younger than the other women he's dates. He's 33, not 35 like I previously said. But still, there's a 10 year difference there and the most he's ever done before is 4 years. He's slowly adjusting and realizing the benefits of being involved with a woman not quite yet in her mid-20s.

1. There's no wedding itch. 2. There's likely to not be an ex-husband. 3. She's likely to not have yet experienced enough to leave her with a man-hating chip on her shoulder.

Michelle isn't trying to rush him to the altar and he is loving that. Loving it, you hear me?

But Michelle is still waiting to see if he's going to step up his efforts or leave them in this situation where they're fitting each other in when they have a chance. Building something real takes more than just your super free time, it takes commitment and mutual desire to spend more time together.

If this guy makes that turn into something more, he'll get a blog name. I just hope he makes it an organic move and doesn't decide tomorrow he wants Michelle to be his girlfriend. I hate when her guys do that. How about building a foundation guys? Not just having a girlfriend for the sake of the title. I guess hope that's the benefit of an older man.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: An Older Man Enters The Picture

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Michelle was back in mid-April. The post was more thoughts about her breaking her cycle. After reading my post about the cycle she goes through with men, she made the decision to try and break that cycle in an effort to give a new guy with possible potential (is possible potential redundant?) a chance.] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

Since that time, not a whole lot has happened in Michelle's love life. I mentioned on a Wednesday that our friend Camille met a guy at a wedding last month. Well, Michelle also met a guy at this wedding.

This guy is a lot older than Michelle. She's 23, he is 35 or so. The age difference really stands out to her. I told her that difference won't seem like that much in 4 years, but that doesn't really help for today.

They spent some time together. He even visited her down in Charleston before she left for the summer. But I don't think much will come from this guy since she doesn't talk about him much.

Terrence called Michelle. At least she thinks he did. The area code is where he's stationed. But he didn't leave a voice mail. I hope he calls back. I would love for the two of them to make peace. I don't know about them rekindling a romance, but being friends isn't terrible.

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: Those Two Guys, Plus One More Makes Three

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

 Quick Recap [My last post about Camille was two weeks ago. In it, I mentioned that King and Bachelor #1 kept coming up. They were screwing with her singlehood by constantly being around and seeming to show interest without making an official declaration. And of course there were big (possible) warning signs associated with each guy.] Read Wishful Wednesday posts.

Camille and King were e-mailing back and forth and she mentioned to him that she applied to be an summer intern where is currently a year-round (I think) intern. She told him she wanted to see if she could get it on her own, but she didn't get that internship, she got another. King was upset that she didn't tell him while she was applying.


Current employees/interns get to be used as references for applications. And since she didn't tell him, she didn't use him as a reference. Camille is okay with the way things turned out because she is much happier with the internship she did get. She'll be doing more stuff and not sharing an office with college kids who are just padding their resumes. By the way, King is also in law school, he's not an undergraduate student.


But I was mostly excited to hear King was upset with Camille. He fussed at her about all the time they could spend together, romantically, but not won't because she'll be interning somewhere else. That means he doesn't see her in a filial way! He sees her as someone he'd like to have sex with. I still don't know if I'm a fan of them together since he seems very one-track-mind-ish. He was happy to make room for her when she was coming to where he was, but now that she's not, I figure she'll barely hear from him this summer.


I want Camille to be with someone who makes room for her, who sees her as more than great-when-convenient. That may not be King, but it sure as hell appears that way sometimes. That being said, I like this guy for her if that one part would change. But alas, you can't bank on tomorrow based on hope of change. So in the real world, he's still a peripheral guy until he gets it together.


Which leads me to Bachelor #1. He seems like a great guy, and we're quite sure he's not gay. But he also is keeping himself on the sidelines, only around enough to garner girl talk, but not enough to see if something real could happen. I guess we're just gonna put this guy on ice for now. You may remember I mentioned him possibly being around a lot because he and Camille were running for top office of a student organization at their school? Well, Camille won her office (yay!), but Bachelor #1 didn't actually run. They still will be spending time together though because they have the same job. So we shall see what becomes of this guy.


Now, I want to talk about this "one more" guy. Two people from our church got married last Saturday. Camille met a man there. So did Michelle, but that will be posted about on Friday. The man Camille met will be called Bachelor #3 for now. He was the best man at the wedding. Having met my boyfriend Easy while he was a groomsman at a wedding, I was loving this story already.


They hit it off at the wedding and she found out very early on that he was a hand holder. He held her hand as he escorted her around the reception room. He held her hand when she helped him load the wedding gifts into the car. He held her hand a lot that night. They exchanged numbers and he's been in contact with her every day since then.


He's a student and their schools are near each other, so he found time to take her out on a date already. They had an early dinner Monday night. There are a few problems with this guy, but I won't get into that yet. The most pressing issue is that Camille is super busy with school right now. As the year is coming to a close, she has a lot on her plate. Law school is very demanding. I think it's great that Bachelor #3 wants to show her a lot of attention and actually asked her out on a date instead of leaving it up in the air if he's genuinely interested. I just wish he was as busy as she is right now so she can finish the semester on a high note and focus on him in the summer.


As of right now, Camille is completely single, but it's nice to know there are good prospects floating around. One can only hope that these guys make it clear what they want from her, so she can make an educated decision. I'm thinking a blog post designed like the dating game. Of course it could be fun for her to do a summer juggle and to blog about that ... Just a thought.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Mulling Over A Cycle Broken

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***
Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.


Last week, I wrote about Michelle and her decision to break her cycle with men. I keep mentioning how it's slim pickings in Charleston for her, so she hasn't met anyone new to test out her new behavior yet. I'm looking forward to when she meets a new guy who is worthwhile.


Getting approached by a guy who professes interest in you isn't really the hard part when you're an attractive girl, as Michelle is. The hard part is sorting out the frogs from the princes. How does one even begin to figure that out? My go to guide is... don't judge me... He's Just Not That Into You.


I'm not talking about the movie, although the movie is wonderful. I mean the book. I read in undergrad with my girl Noni and I found it unique and compelling as far as self-help books go. It stated something that I say a lot. No one can do anything to you that you don't let them.


A great example of this is what happened with Easy and me back in August. I couldn't control him picking someone else over me, but I could control my reaction and our interactions after that. I knew that being his friend was something I didn't want, so I kept my distance from him. Not having me in his life led him to miss me so much that he came back with a vengeance. Maybe vengeance isn't the right word. I watched too many Die Hard movies as a child, ha ha. But the point is, I got what I wanted from him by not allowing him to pussyfoot around and giving him no other option but to figure out what he truly wanted. We got lucky that it turned out we wanted the same thing.


For Michelle, I'm hoping she can keep a firm grasp on what she wants and when she wants it and who she wants it from. That will make her job easier for spotting a guy who doesn't want that. If she just wants to date and hang out and get to know people, that's what she should stay focused on. That will weed out the guys dying to get married next week along with the guys who only want sex and nothing else.


And by the way, no where in my hope for her breaking her cycle did I suggest she should cut all ties with these guys from the past. Some of them will make really good friends for her once they've established the romantic potential of their involvement has run it's course. There is this guy in Charleston she hangs out with. He likes her, but she doesn't want their relationship to go anywhere. But hanging out with him is perfectly fine as long as time spent with him doesn't deter her from finding the real thing should it come along.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: After The 10 Steps

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [My last post for Michelle was two weeks ago. In that time, I talked about her 10 cyclical steps of dating men. It covered her trends of how she usually responds to these guys along with how things usually turn out. I felt I had gotten it pretty much right and was looking forward to what she thought of the post.] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

This week, I want to talk about her reaction to it. It's been a pretty love-life-less week for Michelle. It happens when your a single girl in a small town getting ready to graduate from college in a month. Her priorities aren't exactly on finding some new guy to flirt with.

Michelle didn't really read the post right when I first wrote it. I read it to her while we were hanging out at our friend Gloria's house because she hadn't had a chance to read it. She said it was pretty darn accurate and was laughing because it fit her with Michael, Terrence, and Darren. Basically everyone that I've mentioned by name on this blog.

Here's what she had to say: "It's pretty accurate and sad at the same time, which brought me to the conclusion that I don't want to handle my relationships like that any longer. I'm ready to start leaving my past where it is so it won't complicate my future or present. Allowing these people to continue to come in and out my life keeps me from getting close to someone new. I'm ready for a fresh start!"

I was happy to read that but a bit worried because I didn't want the post to be negative or an admonition, I wanted it to be funny. But if she changes her behavior and ends up with better results, that's cool. I figured she was doing a good job of keeping her priorities and right now a relationship isn't one of them. But I guess if the right guy came along, she'll be happy to be in a position to break her cycle with him.

By the way, I got a comment on the post that made me think some people don't know these blogs posts are about real people. I changed their names and the names of their guys, but I haven't made up anything about their lives. Trust me, I'm not that creative. My creativity only goes as far as me making the cartoon pics at the top of each blog post.

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Making Concrete Plans When Possible

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Read Romantic Monday posts.

Last week, I wrote a post about Gloria and Gregory and how the plans they had for their immediate future were dependent on their current situation, particularly financially. I linked to some interesting websites that offered more to say about the subject.


This week, I want to talk about their relationship as it currently stands, and more concrete plans for the future that don't depend so much on their current financial situation.


I mentioned in my main blog that we had an impromptu girls' night at Gloria's house last Thursday, while we were there, Michelle asked Gloria if the honeymoon phase was over. It was like TV with all the drama and the question leading to a tearful answer about the disappearance of sex and romance and everything that made you fall in love in the first place.


Gloria was pretty realistic about the urgency that had dissipated to a certain extent. But the physical aspect of their relationship was just as great as ever, it's just that now they found an ability to actually leave the bed and do other stuff sooner rather than later. She felt just as close to Gregory as ever. And she feels like their commitment to each other is as strong as ever.


Gregory and she feel the same way about their relationship. They both love each other and intend to be together forever. They feel like they've found the one and don't want to let go. Ever.


They have made a decision about their close future based on the unavailability of other options. They have decided they don't like living apart anymore and they are moving in together. They've set the time for September. I expect to be helping Gloria move come this September and that makes me so happy. She's definitely one who feels my pain on living with the people who raised you and how that can stifle your ability to feel like a real adult. Her people are not at all over bearing, and they're a big help with her son, but it's just nice to be able to take care of yourself.


Gloria is really looking forward to making this plan happen. Signing a year lease will push back them gathering their things and leaving to Texas as quickly as she might have hoped, but at least they will be together. And because they're not leaving the state yet, they are able to avoid the fight that is sure to come with Gloria's son's father, Rufus. They will not have to work so hard to find time for each other because going hom will mean coming home to each other. I'm excited for them and this new possibility. And I really hope nothing happens to upset this plan as September approaches.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: 10 Steps For Cyclical Casual Relationships

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Michelle was two weeks ago. In that post, I related two stories of updates about men from Michelle's recent romantic life. The basic story is that she received apologies from both of these men in just a short period of time about the crappy way they both treated her. I was very glad to report the apologies because that meant I could stop planning how to end these two guys.] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.


This week, I want to talk about Michelle's dating pattern. It's happened more than once now and I think it is an official trend (not a scientific trend, but who cares about whether it's statistically sound?) What happens is pretty interesting. I may get some steps out of order or they may not apply to each guy, but I hope I've got the pattern down.


1. Michelle meets a guy in a group setting.

2. Her and the guy cross paths a couple more times over a period of time. During this time, they realize they have an interesting chemistry that may be worth exploring.

3. The guy lets Michelle know he's interested and gauges her interest. She's usually noncomittal.

4. At this point, Michelle compares the new possibilities guy to whoever is currently on the roster (and has yet to secure an exclusive commitment).

5. If this guy has potential and isn't an immediate threat to her current lifestyle, she lets things evolve with him to see where they can go.

6. The new guy decides he's some version of smitten with Michelle and requests things be taken to the next level. He may or may not have worked to build a good foundation with Michelle that would support such a request.

7. Michelle responds with, "I don't know" at first because she really doesn't know. She tries to figure out if this guy could really be worth that scary exclusive commitment.

8. The other men orbiting around just happen to try and make a rebound, further complicating her decision.

9. Right when Michelle is truly considering taking that leap into the unknown with the new man, he decides his patience has run out or his insecurities have built up or he's met someone else who doesn't have to think as hard about taking the leap.

10. Things fall apart, they decide to become friends, they start back at Step #1.


This is Michelle's pattern. At least it has been since I began writing blog posts about her love life. It's quite an interesting pattern and I'm dying to know if she thinks it's an accurate pattern and what she plans to do about it.


It's actually a perfect pattern for someone who isn't looking to be tied settled down. She graduates with a Bachelor's degree in three months and then moves on to get her Master's immediately after. All the men she's recently come across have been particularly selfish, so Michelle's pattern definitely keeps her safe from getting in too deep with any one guy.


Besides, she's only 23. Now is the time to date and have fun and get to really learn yourself as an adult. She will learn her adult preferences and her must-haves. I think she's right on track. If she wanted to be married tomorrow, she'd be screwed. Actually, she wouldn't. She'd just stop at Step #6 with the next guy and marry him. Thank God she's not ready to settle down, haha.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Apologies And Hope For The Future

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***
Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.


Last week, I wrote about this crazy story that happened to Michelle last semester when she accidentally ended up with a boyfriend. It was pretty funny to me, and I hope that funniness was conveyed through the blog post.


I was hoping that this week, I could just link to some post for a single girl deciding whether or not she wants to put herself in the market for a serious relationship. That meant nothing dramatic would be happening in Michelle's love life this week. Well, I won't be linking to anything because something did happen.


Two somethings happened actually. In a way, I'm glad they happened because they provided Michelle with a chance to focus on some bad things that happened and take the first step towards truly getting past it instead of just getting over it.


The first thing happened with Darren. I wrote a post about how terribly things ended with him and Michelle, which you can read here. Darren's relationship ended as predicted. That's what happens when you jump into a situation simply for the sake of being able to say you have a girlfriend. Darren called (or maybe texted, whatever) Michelle to inform her that his relationship was over.


He also apologized for what happened between the two of them back in December. I'm so glad he apologized, it took guts to do that. And even though they were good friends before all this went down, I'm glad that jerk got the karma that was coming to him. Maybe Darren and Michelle can be friends again after this, I don't know. I guess time will tell.


The second thing that happened was eerily similar to the first. Terrence reached out to Michelle just two days after Darren did. You can read about the demise of Terrence and Michelle here. It was even worse that what happened with Darren because Michelle had real love for Terrence. I think that made her feel even better when he reached out to her to apologize for what happened. I think he is still with his girlfried. Michelle didn't ask, and he didn't volunteer any info about the chick.


If he's still with her, maybe they'll work out. I'm hoping they don't. I guess that sounds mean, but whatever. If Michelle can't have him, but still kind of wants him, I don't want anyone else to have him. And they still have time to break up. If Terrence follows Darren's schedule, things should be falling apart between him and his "girlfriend" in about a week.


Michelle still has hope that things could possibly work out between her and Terrence eventually. I don't know how long she'll wait for eventually, but I'm all for hope. After how well things have turned out between Easy and me, I can only have hope that two people who truly love each other can work through anything.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Another Crazy Single Girl Story

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Last week, I finally got around to telling what happened between Terrence and Michelle. I'm glad to be past that for a while.


Michelle is still single. I guess I could tell the story I never told from last semester about how she had a boyfriend temporarily. I think I will tell the story. I mentioned this guy waaay back in September. He only got a paragraph in a long post that mentioned a couple of guys. Here is the paragraph.

There was this other guy too, who happened to be the fraternity brother of the first guy. He likes Michelle; she sees him as just a friend. She's been enjoying the attention, but not wanting to encourage it by spending too much time with him.

This guy and Michelle hung out a lot last semester. They got to be pretty good friends. He liked and and she liked him well enough. Let me put it this way, he was the only person around she could bear to spend time with. But he decided he really liked her.


He had a dinner party one night and some of his friends who Michelle doesn't really hang out with were there. At the party, one of those friends called her his girlfriend. She was like, "say what?" The guy explains to Michelle that neither of them are dating anyone else. Michelle thinks, "In this town." Then he explains to Michelle that he likes her and she seems to like him too. Michelle thinks, "but there's just no else else I like more, does that count?" Then he explains to Michelle that it feels right to him and no they haven't discussed it, but he thinks they should go with it. Michelle thinks, "what the hell? no discussion. You're a crazy person."


But Michelle says... nothing. At least not right then. I suppose it's not the best conversation to have with a guy in front of his friends that you really don't know well. I had fun joking that she had a boyfriend for a couple of days. It really was funny. But then she let his ass know that you don't just decide someone is your girlfriend, plus she's talking to other people who don't live in Charleston, plus the two of them will never have a serious relationship. Great story, right? I think so.



Now, for the rest of this post, I'm going to discuss what else has been going on with her.


There isn't much going on. Michelle still feels like the men in her world are next to nonexistent in Charleston and sucky everywhere else. She hasn't even mentioned Darren, Terrence, or Michael. That makes me happy because except for me mentioning them right now, they don't deserve to be mentioned.


So there's nothing really new to report. Perhaps next week, I'll link another article for a single girl who hasn't decided whether or not she wants it to be a long-term condition.

Tip Top Tuesday: Multiple Stories That Would Only Happen To An Independent Single Girl

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Top was back at the beginning of February. I discussed how men from her past just won't stay away. The latest was a resurgence of CG He was making all the rookie mistakes when wooing a woman who's just not that into you. But he had changed his tactics and was giving it another shot. Top was trying to figure out how to get him to be done with her once and for all, without being a complete jackass about it. That is easier said than done. In today's post, I'll follow up on that, but first I have other stories to tell.] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

So I mentioned in Friday's post about Michelle how Bad's friend Mellow had an encounter with Top before Michelle. I figured I'd tell that story here now. Top and I had planned out a pretty good evening. It made us feel like we were being adults. I think we were circling 24. Maybe she was already and I wasn't yet.


Bad decided to join us and he brings his close friend who I always had fun with named Mellow. Bad is almost exactly my age, but Mellow had just made 21, so he didn't quite fit Top's idea of what being grown-up looked like. But the four of us were out there nonetheless. Good food, good live music, seats at the bar, two attractive men joining us to keep us company. And then the flirting began.


For a while I thought it might go somewhere, but it didn't. There was just flirting. A few times, Mellow closed in on Top's personal space and she shut that down. But we still kept a festive mood and we all had a great time that night. At the end of the night, there was no exchange of phone numbers, definitely no incriminating photos, and no super sexy dances. But Top did mention that she thought he would be pretty desirable if he weren't so obviously a fresh 21.


Moving on to the next story, another guy from the past popped up while I was in St. Louis. This dude has it bad for Top. I think of him as waste-of-potential-guy, so his name will be Wop Guy. Looks, background, personality, but somehow it doesn't add up to a date-able guy. At least not when it comes to Top. But he calls her not too long ago to tell her that he's in love with her. They've never been a couple or had any involvement that lasted more than a few months here and there over the years. To Top, that means he couldn't possibly be in love and is projecting onto her.


How did that turn out? Well, we spent a while on the phone trying to figure out the best way to let him know they weren't ever going to be involved ever again. Before she could do that, he pleaded his case, accused her of being unfair, and threw a pretty classic tantrum. But then Top let him know that she wasn't interested and wasn't going to be interested.


How did he take it? He offered his willingness to relocate and wanted to come visit NYC to show her how things could be before she gives up. They went back and forth until Top just gave up and got off the phone. So Wop Guy will be back. Even though Top has decided they will no longer be friends, he will be back. Back to bring laughter into my life. Hopefully not for at least a few months. But who knows. "Love" makes you do crazy things.

And moving on to the update of the last post. The CG (college guy) man was plotting on her uterus and advising her about adoption, birth control pills, and other things one shouldn't discuss with a women he isn't even dating. He also needed to be told that Top wasn't interested. She just attracts the most persistent guys. It's kind of funny. Well, it's very funny. If only these guys knew how embarrassed they should be for their behavior, I'm sure they would act differently.


This CG man is out. Top hasn't spoken to him. I guess he crossed a line criticizing her life choices while spouting bullshit about his open-mindedness towards her free-spirit nature. That means whenever he calls again, they will have "the talk". Hopefully CG is a better listener than Wop Guy. Because I don't want Top to have to deal with this Rolodex of men who can't take a hint. Even when you're saying, "I'm Not Interested In Dating You".


Other things happened, but this post is getting super long, so I'll just write about it next week. It's like a soap opera cliffhanger. Well, not really.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Another Story, Another Fuck Up

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***


Last week, I told an interesting story about Michelle from New Year's Eve in an effort to avoid talking about Terrence. I'd love to avoid it again by linkng to some article from The Frisky, but there is information about her love life that I need to go ahead and post about so it's done and recorded.


I wrote a post about Darren being out of the picture back in December. I was glad to welcome in Terrence because Darren had been so terrible. What he put Michelle through was very similar to what happened between Easy and I back in August, but they were very unlikely to have a happy ending.


Believe it or not, the same thing has happened with Terrence. Seriously, the same thing. He had this other chick he was talking to because he and Michelle were not exclusive. But in the meantime, he was talking to Michelle about the future he saw himself having with her. He expressed to her that if she were into it, they could be together and be so happy and blah blah blah.


Terrence told Michelle he wanted a girlfriend. He didn't want to be the only guy in his Army unit without a girlfriend/fiancee/spouse. While she was considering entering a long-term relationship with this guy and weighing the pros and cons, things didn't end well.  I wrote a post at the beginning of last month about what happened with that. Long story short, he had a girlfriend, he didn't, he expressed an interest in sorting things out with my girl Michelle.


So what happened next? Well, he was full of shit! He didn't have a girlfriend then, but he has one now. That other chick is his girlfriend. After expressing some seriously nutty behavior, he decided that she wasn't crazy per se, she was just crazy for him.


He didn't even tell Michelle he had made this decision with the other girl. He just disappeared. I mean, he had already headed back to his unit, but he was suddenly unable to be reached. And then there was the unfortunate repeat performance of her seeing on Facebook that he was now in a relationship.


So now... they are just friends. Or something horrible like that. And Terrence has a girlfriend. And it's not Michelle. Boy do I know how she feels. Man after man comes to her and tells her all these wonderful things. And even though she fights against the possibility, as soon as she begins to consider it, the rug is pulled from beneath her and they turn out to be full of shit.


And it really sucks that this happened so soon. A guy she was kind of into doing it sucks. A guy that she has loved for years doing the same thing only a month later is even worse. But Michelle is resilient and she will bounce back.


It will be interesting to see exactly how she does that though. She has complained about how there's no one of worth to date or whatever else in Charleston. But she recently decided to stay another year. Yes, Michelle will graduate with her Bachelor's Degree in May, but then she will join a one year Master's Program and stay until May 2012.


I don't know what that means for her love life. But she certainly gets into enough situations even with that fact of graduating soon. But now you know the whole basic story with Terrence, and hopefully we won't hear much about him for a while.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: A Story From Recent History

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Michelle was back close to the New Year. I was giving an update on Terrence. At that point, he had just disappeared into thin air for a couple of days. It was to sort things out with that crazy chick without Michelle clouding his mind. It was a fucked up thing for him to do and it really hurt Michelle. I'll explain (not this week) what happened next with that. It ain't pretty.] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

But for this week, I will talk about something more fun. Random flirting beats depressing involvement with an ex any day!

I forgot I never did tell the story about Michelle picking up one of Bad's friends the night we all went out for New Year's Eve.

I've already explained in various posts here and on my main blog how amazing New Year's was for Michelle and I.

Instead of spending the night watching The Blind Side drinking our respective hot cocoa or egg nog, we were out having tapas and dancing the night away.

But Michelle had even more fun than I did. While I was e-mailing Easy, thinking how much I wish I had a spare $600 to hop a plane to Spain, she was making a new friend.

This friend is one of Bad's best friends who's been around for years. We'll call him Mellow.

A lot of the time I've spent around him is from an era before Bad and Jordan were committed and exclusive, so I didn't really bring around a whole bunch of my friends, since it was just "friends of Bad" hanging out.

But there are moments when it's just Bad, Mellow, and I. I didn't want that because for a long time, Mellow and I weren't... close. When we're at Bad's house, whatever.

But when out on the town, gotta have backup. So one night, Top comes out with the three of us. Or rather, Bad brings Mellow to a night out that Top and I already had planned.

The point is, the four of us end up there together. There was an interesting dynamic. Something off to the left of a double date. I'll explain that in a post about Top so I can get back to Michelle.

The point is on NYE, I saw that same vibe between Michelle and Mellow, except it was just the two of them.

There was his cousin and me, who were both behaving like single chicks trying to stay that was for the night.

Bad and Jordan were doing the couple thing. And there were the two of them.

I'm not even sure who started flirting first, but suddenly, they were posing for pictures with their faces pressed all close together. It looked a lot like Michelle with Lion's cousin during our birthday weekend actually. I don't know if I've told that story or not.

But back to Mellow. They were dancing and flirting the night away. They seemed genuinely attracted to each other, but I'm not sure what the purpose was of all the interaction when he was just headed back to Florida in a couple days and neither one had the resources (and one of them didn't have the will) to have a one night stand.

But it became clearer. After we were all headed home, Bad texts me to say Mellow wants Michelle's number. I ask if I can give her his too. I ask her if it's cool, then we make the numbers exchange. Then I head to bed because I do not care for a while what happened next.

It turns out they texted back and forth, flirted some more, made plans to see each other before he left town, then both flaked.Sounds like they both wanted someone to flirt in the New Year with.

Michelle knows that since we've become closer, that closeness includes time with Bad and Jordan (who she loves), but who are in a solid happy relationship (which she lives with). Having a built in-flirty-boo-type is probably a good idea for her.

Mellow is probably just happy I brought a friend around who was closer to his age so there's a chance she won't treat him like a cute puppy while he's putting on the moves.

If you look at my recap from the last post, Terrence is still in the picture. There are updates with him, but I just wanted to talk about something fun this week. This shit with him is pretty depressing. I'll talk about it next Friday.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Another Layer Of Bullshit Added To The Relationship

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Hello blog readers! I usually don't actually request comments on this blog.

Why would I? What would you comment on? You don't know these people, you only get a glimpse into part of their lives one day a week every couple of weeks.

But I'm going to tell you what happened with Terrence and Michelle and I need to know if anyone ele's bullshit meter goes off.

Last week, I posted about how Terrence had a girlfriend. He had just fit the first girl to say yes into this idea of what he thinks he wanted.

Turns out that was wrong. He doesn't have a girlfriend.

That's what he told Michelle when he re-surfaced after not speaking to her or responding to texts for like the entire week between Christmas and New Year's Eve.

He explained that the other chick who he said was now giving a chance to see what could be had a really strong crazy streak (no surprise there, she wanted to be your girlfriend even though she had no existing relationship with you).

And then he explained that he had been dealing with her craziness for all those days and didn't want to have to deal with two women while he handled that.

Apparently, when he sent Michelle the text saying he felt he and she should stop talking, he did that out of anger. Towards the other chick. Yes, he said that with a straight face.

He was frustrated with the crazy chick and took it out on Michelle.

He cut Michelle off for a couple of days. To talk to the crazy chick for a couple of  days.

When he re-surfaced, there was no discussion of how he got rid of the crazy chick. He never said, "don't worry, she's gone."

The good news in all of this is that Michelle is pretty furious with Terrence. She's not just giving him the benefit of the doubt.

A tiny part of me wonders if she should give him the benefit of the doubt.

My mom says that you'll be alone forever if you never give a man a second chance.

But Michelle and Terrence have some years of history behind them so they are way past a second chance.

I guess we'll see what happens now. Terrence heads back out to his Armed Forces gig soon if he hasnt' already left.

And Michelle heads back to school on Sunday. I'm sure she would rather focus on her last semester of college rather than all this bullshit she's been through with these men over the last couple of weeks.

Heck, she may even be glad there's only the one guy to hang out with in Charleston.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Free And Clear In The New Year

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

What.The.Fuck?! Why is it when men make a choice, and that choice isn't you, do they feel the need to keep some interaction?

That is a sentence in my last post about Michelle. That was two weeks ago.
 
In that post, I was happily explaining how all the worthless men in Michelle's romantic orbit had run their course.
 
They were not to be mentioned again, except in footnotes of unwelcome text messages.
 
Even the ones who would stay friends don't get full mentions because this blog isn't about her friends, it's about her love life.
 
I was looking forward to Terrence's return home for the Christmas holiday.
 
And it seemed like things were looking up. They hung out when he first got home and he was really laying it on thick.
 
He was talking about his idea for their near and distant futures together.
 
But Terrence wants a girlfriend.
 
Michelle doesn't want a boyfriend, especially not one who's about to be guaranteed away from home 99% of the time for the next four years.
 
What was the result of that? It didn't end well.
 
Which brings me back to the quote above.
 

What.The.Fuck?! Why is it when men make a choice, and that choice isn't you, do they feel the need to keep some interaction?

 
Terrence is not that kind of man.
 
He met this other girl at some point before he shipped off to boot camp.
 
When he came back, she was more into the idea of being his girlfriend than Michele was.
 
Apparently, the idea of dating one person at a time is foreign to Terrence.
 
It's just ridiculous because some of the things he was saying would suggest she wasn't so easily replaceable.

I guess acting neglectfully or acting completely interested to the point of making plans for years in the future might as well be interchangeable.

It netted the same result.

This is twice in a month that this has happened now. Michelle keeps attracting these guys who claim they want a serious relationship with her.

But it turns out is all they want is a serious relationship with someone. I'm not even sure the word serious applies here.

They just wanted a girlfriend. Any old chick could apparently fit into that slot.

If they ask one chick to be the girlfriend and she says no, somehow less than a week later, they have another girlfriend?

And not just any other girlfriend, it's some chick they also were talking to the entire time they were trying to make Michelle the girlfriend.

Somehow, they end up looking something other than genuine or sincere. They just look full of shit.

These guys are looking for an easy route, a girlfriend without the trouble of building a connection and relationship first. Yeah, that's gonna end well.

I have no idea what to expect for Michelle in the new year, but I hope there's nothing to do with guys who don't know what they want or guys who know what they want but don't take into account what Michelle wants or guys who are just generally full of shit.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: It Seems These Men Will Never Go Away

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Last week, I was happy to discuss Darren's demise, even though I had been rooting for him before that happened.

That's usually how things go. Things are great with a new guy, until it falls apart. Then inevitable questions arise.

Whose fault was it? Is this worth fighting for? Do I want to keep this person in my life in some capacity?

I don't know if Michelle is asking herself these questions about these men or not.

It's not like she's had very much time for self-reflection. They won't stay gone long enough for that.

Darren has reached out to her via text message. What did the text say? "Hey buddy."

What.The.Fuck?! Why is it when men make a choice, and that choice isn't you, do they feel the need to keep some interaction?

It's like a deleted scene from Bill Bellamy's "How To Be A Player".

I guess he figured they could keep doing their will-we-be-friends-or-not dance until he sees how things work out with that other chick.

All I can say is that I'm super happy Michelle didn't respond to his text message at all.

Moving on the waste of time that is Michael. He has also reached out to Michelle.

If this guy wants her in his life, why can't he be more proactive about it. Blackberry Messenger IMs talking about how you feel can be useful.

But not when the bulk of your conversation is about how the other person doesn't talk to you as much as they used to. Stop complaining, be proactive!

If you want to see the girl, ask her out dumb ass? But what if she says no? Your punk ass should be able to take the risk if you like her like you think you do.

Would it be better to just sit in the wings and occasionally IM and make yourself seem less and less desirable because you can't take a firm position or consistent behavior?

Michelle has decided that she and Michael are going to be "just friends". She said she's sick of making plans with him only to be stood up or cancelled on at the last moment. I think that's wise.

And moving on to Terrence. He gets back to town today. I can't tell if Michelle is super excited or just regular excited.

I think that she's regular excited for now because she doesn't actually expect to see him today. I believe his plans are to spend this first day back with just him family.

But they've been texting back and forth and he's laying it on pretty thick. So I figure she's well on her way to super excited.

Which is perfectly acceptable. After all, they have quite a history. He's the first boy she ever loved.

And I love that moment, before any concrete interactions have ruined it, when everything is shiny and new and full of potential.

They aren't shiny and new because they have so much history, but because it's been so long since they've seen each other.

They've been in contact while he was away and now they get to see where all this talking and reconnecting will lead.

I'll be glad to report next week how it's going between Michelle and Terrence. And I'm hoping I'll have nothing to add about either Michael or Darren.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Goodbye Darren, Hello Terrence

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [It's been a couple of weeks since I've written about Michelle. It's been a couple of weeks since I've really written about anyone. But that last post was a hopeful one about a new guy, Darren. He'd actually been around for a while, but that was the first time I had mentioned him. He was this person shoe had a great chemistry with and she was finally starting to explore that, even though they had an interesting history] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

Well, since that time, Darren has proven himself unworthy. It happens with every guy until it doesn't, so I guess I'm not surprised.

What happened with them is actually very similar to what happened with Easy and me.

After dancing around and toward each other, he managed to break down some of her barriers to the idea of them.

He was, after all, involved with her cousin (although only for a couple weeks) before setting his sights on her.

But they hung out like they were supposed to that Friday night. Things went well. Michelle found herself leaning towards getting over her issues about his history with her cousin, Thing 1.

Sidenote: I've finally searched through my blog posts and figured out which twin cousin I had labeled Thing 1 and which one was Thing 2 aka Chocolate Thunda (please get the Cat in the Hat reference, please).

What happens next was quite a surprise. Michelle ended up not hearing from Darren for a couple of days.

She didn't think too much of it because she's in the full swing of working on projects for finals right now.

She happened to be on Facebook and saw that his status update indicated he was now in a relationship.

Darren texted Michelle a few days after that to tell her he missed her and ask how she felt about their time together the previous Friday evening.

She took that opportunity to ask him about his new status. He immediately apologized.

His response was something like,

"I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want you to be upset. You always have your guard up and seemed so unsure about us. I was talking to this other girl too. She seemed to really want to be with me. So I took a chance on her."

After hearing that, Michelle was floored. She was definitely having a what.the.fuck. moment.

What do you even say to that? Good luck on your relationship? Nah, that wouldn't be an honest response.

She let Darren know that he sucked for jumping into a relationship without telling her. And also for being in a relationship and continuing to behave as if he were pursuing her.

I think it's a pretty universal rule that once you have a girlfriend, you shouldn't be sending other girls texts about how you miss them and want to kiss them again etc.

I liked Darren from what she had told me about him because he seemed sweetly persistent.

Michelle does have a short wall up, but he seemed ready and willing to work to get it down.

But then the first girl who comes along who suggests a relationship can get him? He's an idiot as far as I'm concerned.

Who even jumps into a relationship anyway these days?

You don't just say, "I like you, be my boyfriend." That's high school behavior.

Adults date. They work toward a relationship. They see if mixing their two lives is something that can work.

And before he was in this "relationship", he was talking to and texting Michelle almost everyday.

There aren't enough hours in the day to do that with multiple people, so I just really doubt the validity of this new girlfriend.

I don't expect they'll last long because they have no foundation. And when they are done, he'll probably be back to Michelle, trying to explain how he made a mistake.

I hope she tells him to go suck an egg. Well that's not fair. It will depend on how she feels about him at that time. But still, that would be funny if she did.

Moving on to the next. There is this guy who I will call Terrence. He is Michelle's ex. He is due home next week I believe.

Where has he been? In the Armed Forces. She is very much looking forward to his return home. I"m sure that will make for some interesting stories because they have a very intense relationship.