Tip Top Tuesday: When Will The Men Learn?

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Top was a couple weeks ago. There was talk about Dan and talk about her work life. Nothing else worth mentioning was really going on in her love life] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

In the last couple of weeks, something interesting happened with Dan.

I'm not really sure how to explain it, but let's just say some people can't handle their alcohol.

They were out for drinks one night and he started expressing himself.

If you remember, Dan has a lot going on in his life right now, and he is not in a position to pursue her.

She's also not a position to be pursued. The last few months of blog posts, should tell you that. Top doesn't want or need a relationship with anyone right now.

So how do most men respond to this lack of desire for a relationship? Why, they get liquored up and declare they'd like a relationship with Top!

It never fails. Eventually, they all get to this point. I'm not sure what makes these guys think that liquid courage will make everything alright.

They think this in spite of the fact that they would have kept those thoughts to themselves while sober.

So Top let him know that he was asking for something that wasn't ever going to happen.

I think he got the picture. Since that happened, he hasn't been saying anything else about wanting to be with Top.

Tip Top Tuesday: Poetry And Work, Oh And Men Too

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Top talked about how the reason Dan has become an important part of her world is because he wasn't easily dismissible because of circumstances. I also introduced a new guy I called No Name Date Guy. He seemed to be providing a bit of spontaneous fun for Top.] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

Dan still holds his place of importance. He and Top are still good friends. From the outside looking in, it seems as if he's been very instrumental in getting her to feel safe about opening her heart again.

She's writing poetry again. Other than the other poetry she wrote last month, it had been years since I heard her say she wrote a poem.

She was feeling inspired and Dan had a lot to do with that. But this poetry writing has shown me that there's still this wall up.

Top has no intention of ever letting Dan see the poems. I think this is a wise decision because it might be the catalyst to push things farther than they need to go.

But that means there is still this limit of how close they can get.

I don't have anything new to report about No Name Date Guy. Maybe he's gone, maybe he's not. He really was just a blip on the radar.

I'm thinking he was only mentioned because the story connected to picking out clothes. I do love clothes.

But on to other interesting things. I've said that Top is a girl who focuses on her career a lot. And she has really made some strides.

Her job has evolved to where she's now in charge of coordinating events for the next calendar year. I try not to talk too much about work here, but it's just really exciting.

She's reached out to some pretty big name music artists to help promote events. Her job is non-profit, so they do a lot of fundraising.

Being able to raise that money makes such a difference in the lives of the community they serve. I wish they knew who was solely responsible for the boost they will get in revenue next year.

I'm feeling really hopeful that things will work out and a couple of the people she's reached out to will be able to accommodate her request.

A tip for people who are single and like it that way: be like Top and have other things going on in your life. Other important things that really matter in the world around you. That way your life can still be complete.

Tip Top Tuesday: More About Dan... And A Mechanical Bull

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Top was last month. I finally gave the guy who I'd been referencing a name and it was Dan. I didn't want to give him a name because he's not really in a position to ever end up in a relationship with Top. But he is kind of important in her romantic journey, so he gets a name. He's certainly more important than all the other guys I've mentioned in her life] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

This Dan guy is important. And what's better is that he's safe. By being unavailable, there is no chance she can get her heartbroken. They could never ever be together.

And also, she wasn't able to ignore him like she could most guys. Once the guys try and get to close, Top would just be done with them.

But Dan isn't some friend of a friend. Top sees him quite often, so she couldn't just pretend he didn't exist. And that fostered a friendship that had nothing to do with an attraction or desire.

Oh, and Dan isn't really her type physically. He's not the type of guy she'd normally be drawn to. She sees that as a good thing because if something hasn't worked before, why keep repeating that behavior?

But there is another guy I want to mention. This other guy does not get a name. He's just some guy she's been dating. By dating, I mean going on dates with.

This guy is there for fun purposes only it seems. But I'm amused by him and I wanted to mention him only to tell a funny story.

Top has work things in the evening occasionally. It's either for her job or for networking or whatever. But this guy she's dating is super spontaneous.

He'll just call or pop up and suggest they hang out. Top is pretty spontaneous, so she'll just go with is usually.

But one evening, she had a work thing to get ready for and No Name Date Guy pops up wanting to hang out. She figures she has time to spend with him and still get ready so she says yes.

Then suddenly it's time to get ready for the work thing. Top tells No Name Date Guy his time is up and suddenly she has less than an hour to get ready and on her way.

The work thing she was going to had an odd theme. She could either wear Western clothes or cocktail clothes. She and I were on the phone for like 35 minutes trying to sort it out.

Normally, Top would have that sorted much sooner and been on her way. This No Name Date Guy is a bit of a distraction, but in a fun way.

I know what you're thinking, did she go cocktail or Western? Even though the lure of riding a mechanical bull was strong, Top ended up going cocktail.

Tip Top Tuesday: He Wants What He Can't Have

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Top was earlier this month. It's not that things haven't happened since then, I just didn't have the story yet to share. In the last post, I was talking about her becoming fearless in love like she is in a lot of other aspects of her life. I spoke of looking forward to that time. In an even earlier post, I mentioned a man who isn't available to even like Top. I thought I wouldn't hear much more about him.] Read all the Tip Top Tuesday posts.

I was so wrong about that guy. I guess he needs a blog name now. I'll call him Dan. Just to be clear, Dan is the man who I said wasn't allowed to like Top. He's also the one who wrote her a poem. He's written more since then. He's had a very useful purpose. He's given her someone to like who isn't even available to be with, so he provides a bit of safety for her emotions. Top saw this as pretty essential.

But things have changed sine he was the safe guy to like. He's still the most relevant guy she's dealt with since things ended with her ex. But he's gone a bit further. He wants to be with her. I'm not even sure how that would work since the reason he's not available is that he has someone else. But nevertheless, it's what he wants. Top is no home wrecker though, so he's not going to walk away from a current situation and then be with her the next day.

The analogy we came up with is that men tend to see her as Toys R Us when she's more of a Chuck E. Cheese. You can play with the games, but all you take home from Chuck E. Cheese are those crappy prizes that aren't worth the money you spent. These men, Dan included, see her as Toys R Us, where you get to take home every toy you opened and played with in the store. If you decide, you can have it all.

But Dan does strike Top as different. In his own way, he's a very worthwhile man for her to have a friendship with. He makes her laugh, and he's actually getting to know her. I don't know how many men those of you who read this blog know, but it's not a common thing. It's not even a man thing; it's a people thing. People tend to want someone they like to fit into their box of expectations. Finding a person who wants to get to know who you are for you without those expectations is very rare.

So for now, Top is enjoying his attention and enjoying the feeling you get from having someone (who is worthwhile) genuinely interested in you. She's enjoying feeling comfortable with him because they're friends.