Melody's Monday: The Fall Brings A Fall

***Melody is my little sister for all intents and purposes. She has just begun her second year of college. She's learning the ups and downs of relationships, as well as what she's looking for in a relationship as a young adult. Her ideas of romance are informed by the Bible, parents, romantic comedies, and friends. Take that, add in some newfound freedom, and you've got a recipe for interesting tales.***

Quick Recap[The last time I wrote about Melody, she and Tweety were getting ready for the next school year to start. He had decided he wasn't transferring schools and things were all good. Melody seemed really happy and I was happy for her.] Read Melody's Monday posts.

Since that time, they've broken up! And it was about such bullshit. Tweety isn't a virgin, Melody is. Anyone who's ever dated a young college man who is used to having sex may share her pain. It was a slightly difficult decision for Melody about how to handle it. She ultimately decided to focus on her goals she had in place before she had the boyfriend. She intends to stay a virgin until she's married.

I talked with her about it before they broke up and she was asking if she was right to make this decision. That let me know it was based so much on the things her parents told her should be. I told her to pray about it and think about it and she did decide it was something that mattered to her and not just because her parents said so or her church says so. And when she told Tweety this, he said he could handle it, but it was basically a countdown to him deciding he couldn't handle it.

He broke up with her and ended up leaving town to go to a school in Tennessee somewhere. I say good riddance. It would be more difficult for her to be at school if he was there because they had started to blend friends. And now they'll just be her friends.

Melody is feeling hurt by the breakup, as well she should. He knew this about her when they met (through church friends, no less), and he said it was okay. He was full of crap and I'm so happy that she got out when she did, even if it wasn't her decision. She would have regretted it if she had sex with him just to not lose him. No guy, especially a 19 year old guy, is worth that depth of compromise.

Melody's Monday: Tweety Is Staying In Town

***Melody is my little sister for all intents and purposes. She just finished her freshman year of college and her love life is filled with all the wonderful things that brings. She has new found freedom mixed with ideals of romance informed by parents and romantic comedies. She is currently involved in what will probably go down in her history as her first adult relationship.***

Quick Recap [Last time I wrote about Melody, her boyfriend Tweety was contemplating transferring to a college down south so he could play in their band. He wanted Melody to go with him down there. This was in spite of the fact that her major was at the college they were currently attending, her family was close to the school, and she was more interested in him than the school. I was hoping he wouldn't go so it wouldn't be an issue for her to have to decide whether or not to follow him.]

Tweety isn't leaving! Thank God. I wasn't going to tell her not to go with him, but I was sooooo against it. The problem was solved for me. He missed his audition for the band and wasn't able to schedule another one. He still loves that school and may try to apply again next school year. That would make me feel better because if they're still together this time next year, they'll have another year of relationship built up to make a major move like that more feasible.

Melody and Tweety are getting ready for this next school year to start. Now that's she's settled into the being-a-college-student-thing, it should be a great year. She has class, work, a boyfriend, and friends. Sounds like the ideal college situation to me. At least it's ideal for Melody. She loves having a relationship and friends. She needs to have a job to help support herself while she's in school. And she loves her major. Things are looking fantastic for her in the near future.

Melody's Monday: Summer Lovin', They're Having A Bla-ast

***Melody is my little sister for all intents and purposes. She just finished her freshman year of college and her love life is filled with all the wonderful things that brings. She has new found freedom mixed with ideals of romance informed by parents and romantic comedies. She is currently involved in what will probably go down in her history as her first adult relationship.***

Today's post is about enjoying the wonderful freedom that being a college kid with the summer off provides. There is no other time in life like it. You have ultimate freedom with minimal responsibility. And Melody is living it up. Tweety, who her boyfriend for a month now, is consuming a lot of her time. Every time I talk to her, they're at the beach, or they're headed to the movies or the park or a restaurant. When they're not working, that is.

It reminds me of being her age and wanting to spend all your time with this person just because you could. He seems to make her happy so far. She tells cute stories about how they just sit in the park and talk for hours about any and everything. Melody will be working this summer, but I imagine she won't let that stop her from seeing Tweety every chance she gets.

I still haven't heard the final verdict on whether Tweety will still be a student at their college next school year. He is talking about transferring to an HBCU down south. I want his college education to go well, but I also don't want Melody to get another broken heart. He is now trying to convince her to go down there with him. Every independent-woman bone in my is screaming for her not to do it. Luckily, there's not much chance of that happening because she really has no desire to do that. He says he expects to go down there for one semester, not like it, and come back. I definitely don't understand teenagers. If he won't like it, why go at all with such a terrible expectation??

But, that's not for me to say. I didn't offer any advice, I just asked that she keep me informed on the goings on because it's certainly making an interesting story, lol.

Melody's Monday: They're Learning How Difficult It Is To Mix Friends

I know everyone didn't go to college, but everyone passed by age 19 at some point. If you were trying to date anyone exclusively, if not seriously, you probably had this notion that your lives could end up perfectly if everything you wanted magically fell into place.

A person who's 19 thinks half like a teenager and half like a young-20s person. Either way isn't particularly clear (at least me and my friends weren't amazing at sorting out intricacies of relationships at that age). Melody is in the midst of spending a lot of time with Tweety's friends because she wants to be around him and the friends come as a package deal. They aren't her kind of people though.

She's never been a girl to worry too much about clothing or appearance. Coming from such a large family, focusing on fashion had no place in their finances. But Melody is such a pretty girl who genetically and healthily ended up with an amazing body. She could wear a burlap sack and still look good. But now she spends so much time around girls who are obsessed with clothing. Tweety isn't actually much better. She told me he once talked for thirty minutes about how a pair of shoes could work with different outfits of his.

I like those types of conversations, so she had to explain to me how that was out of the ordinary for her and something to get used to. Once I got it, I was amused because it seemed like she was sticking with a guy (yet again) who had some obvious traits that didn't match with what she wanted.

But I gotta hand it to baby girl. She's got some maturity when it comes to relationships. At her age, I would bail for the smallest reasons. I just stopped that shit about two years ago. I still want to bail, I just fight the urge. But she's a ride out kind of girl. I guess I can appreciate that because she is still so young and can afford to give a guy a bit more time to wait and be sure if what she thinks she wants is actually what she wants.

Melody & Tweety

Melody is new to this blog. She's my little sister who's just started college (well, back in August is when she started). She has been seeing this guy for a couple weeks and tonight I finally got the whole story. I'll call him Tweety.

They met while she was at her friend's house for Easter dinner. He's a second cousin of her friend or something. They both ended up volunteering to do a praise dance for the friend's church for their church anniversary. I don't know how much you know about praise dancing (that's why I linked to the video), but it requires a bit of practice. And since they had to do the dance in two weeks, it meant suddenly spending a lot of time together.

The night after they did the dance, he tells her he's interested in her. She had been gauging her interest in him too, but she's never approach a guy. She told him she was interested and they started talking. They've been hanging out a lot and mixing friends and spending entire days together. It totally reminds me of my first college romance with Adam.

Tweety isn't really Melody's type of guy, but he pushes her out of his comfort zone. Now the conflict: they're at the same college now, but he's trying to leave. He's trying to get a band scholarship to another school that is states away. People who are 18 and 19 years old are ill-equipped to handle a long-distance relationship from Indiana to Mississippi. They just don't have the resources to regularly close the distance.

But good news. Tweety missed his audition because of car trouble. I don't want him to fail, but I don't want him to break Melody's heart. At least he's asking her to consider the possibility of a long-distance relationship. That means he's pretty serious and if he stays at their college, they'll have hope of having a real relationship. I'm so happy for her. This guy may be her first real adult romance without the overbearing presence of her father involved.