Wednesday, September 7, 2011

My Last Post On This Blog

For a number of reasons, time mostly, this is my last post on this blog. I write a number of blogs on a variety of topics. I've decided to try and meld all those into one blog that hopefuly won't be too disjointed. I invite you to join me there as I will continue to talk about all the things I've been talking about on this blog.

Come play with us

Y'all know by now I have an odd sense of humor. Moving on.

I hope to see you over at my new blogging home! It's called My World In Reflection.

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: Daydreams And Fantasies

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.*** Read Wishful Wednesday posts.

There's this guy at Camille's school who seemed to never take notice of her last year. But this year, she feels him watching her every time they're in the school's library. This has started us off on a flight of fancy as to whether he was watching her because he was interested, or maybe she just happened to keep being in his line of sight.

Of course, I'm hoping something will come of this, but we'll see.

I kept mentioning another guy who is a friend of Camille's. This is the one who acted crazy when they went to Spain. Also, he's the one who said he's not Camille's type. Well, she brought him to our luau we threw as a group of friends.

I was excited to finally meet him and I think he's awesome. I do see why Camille isn't interested in him. But interestingly enough, he seemed to hit it off with one of Michelle's cousins. She asked Camille for his phone number and he agreed she should have it. Once he dates one of the girls in our group, he's off limits for everyone else, so that will be it for any possibility for him and Camille.

So for now, we'll be micro-dissecting the intentions of library man...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Tip Top Tuesday: The Ex From Hell

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [In my last post, which was a month ago, talked about her birthday and her annual birthday I'm-a-Cancer reflection on life. I also mentioned some stuff about her ex, specifically how I felt that she was emerging from looking at everything through that lens.] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

Since that time, some stuff has come to light about her ex. Long story short, he's even worse that we previously believed. Why he felt the need to un-burden himself with revelations to Top I don't understand. I can only assume it's because he's weak and selfish and a Grade A asshole.

Top began to think about all the nice guys she's met in the time since her relationship ended. She has considered how many of them she never even gave a chance to. Whether or not it was directly because of the ex (which I think it was not), the fact remains that she's been turning down nice guys who may actually be nice guys left and right.

This is all while her ex, Grade A Asshole, is walking around pretending he's a genuinely good guy. It's frustrating to think that there are women out there who don't know who he is or how terrible he can be. I wish there was some way, Scarlet Letter style, to mark him and let the world know he was not a catch.

If this were a sitcom, I'd buy a domain from GoDaddy.com and dedicate it to bringing him down. Get him fired, dumped, ostracized by his family. That would be some sweet-tasting revenge. The part of me that feels protective of my friends just wishes he would go poof.

Image via Uncyclopedia
But alas, this is real life. The mature thing to do is keep on moving on with life and leave it up to God/the universe/karma to kick his ass. I will be mature. I will be mature.

I will say this. If he doesn't lose Top's number, I will pretend like I'm on an ABC sitcom and take him down. Prepare the laugh tracks cause it's going to be legen---wait for it--- dary.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Looking For Improvement

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.*** Read Romantic Monday posts.

In my last post, I talked about how Gloria and Gregory had broken up and how things seemed to be in such a state as not being able to improve.

I talked to Gloria about it again and they're trying to make it work. She's found the root of their problems to boil down to neither of them ever wanting to be wrong. Little disagreements escalate to a point and it seems too hard to keep fighting. Fighting for the relationship that is.

She was over the house with Camille and Michelle. We, along with Easy, just caught up. It's been a while since I got to catch up with my girls outside of a festive occasion. It was also nice not to mention the word wedding once.

Easy and I talked to her about how a couple can come back from no matter how bad things seem and no matter what any one person has done as long as someone is fighting for the relationship. When both people are weary, that doesn't work. At least one person has to rally the troops.

I think things may improve because they have identified their major problems. They're going to work on not letting fights escalate and communicating better. I hope they get things together.

On another note, Gloria's son's father, Rufus, still sucks. They worked out this custody agreement that she wasn't too keen on. But she did it for her son. And now Rufus isn't holding up his end of the bargain. He doesn't pick up or drop off his son when he's supposed to. He cancelled a doctor's appointment for him without telling her! Who does that? I don't know what will make him act like a sane being. But I'm just glad their romantic days are long behind them.

On yet another note, Gloria is still looking for a good job. There aren't a lot of available jobs that pay more than $10/hr, which sucks so much. Cross your fingers that her luck changes.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Sonny's Sunday: The Honeymooners Deck

***Sonny is an old friend of mine. We went to elementary, middle, and high school together. He's also my friend who's doing the super-adult thing. He and his new fiancee Cher just bought a house. They're working on planning a life together as well as a wedding next April. Even with all that stability, their love life is still interesting.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Sonny was back in the middle of June. In that post I talked about their Save the Date for the wedding next April. I took crappy photos with my BB. I also speculated about a possible double date so Easy could get to know them better. Lastly, I made plans to book our cruise so we'd meet the deadline in the STD.] Read Sonny's Sunday posts.

Since that time, it took me forever to actually book our cruise. I literally just did it Wednesday. But Sonny told me they put that date there to give people urgency, but there really wasn't a big rush. The rooms they set aside for our group were okay rooms. But the last time I went on a Carnival cruise, my parents were in one of the really nice rooms on the top deck.

I wanted to be in one of those rooms, so I paid the extra money and we'll be up there! The best part is Sonny and Cher also booked the nicer room. We joked that it would be the honeymoon floor. Now that the cruise is booked, I'm very excited for this event.

Things have been sailing smoother for Sonny and Cher since he switched jobs. He's finally in a job that uses his degree in finance. Cher helped him apply for jobs and he landed one as an investment banker. We live in Chicago, so he's no Wall Street fat cat who will be instrumental in our next recession.

Now that he's switched to a new job, he keeps more regular hours. That means he gets to spend more time with Cher. I'm hoping that means we can spend more time with them. He was finishing up at his old job just a few weeks ago so they missed Easy's and my engagement party. I'm dying for them to meet since Easy has hit it off so well with all the rest of my friends.

For my next post, I'll try to pry some wedding planning details out of Sonny.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Lion's Life Saturday: Getting On The Road

***Lion is my best friend from college. He's a very focused young man working on getting his MD. This focus makes having a love life a very difficult undertaking. But he's making it happen somehow.*** Read Lion's Life Wednesday posts

Last week, I talked about Lion's adjustment to single life. I mentioned that he'd had a bit of fun while on an away rotation down in Florida.

I also mentioned that he met a friend of mine at my engagement party. He invited her down to St. Louis next week when my fiance and I head down for a gig my fiance has in the St. Louis area. She agreed to come and we began making plans.

Lion isn't really much of a talker until you've gotten to know him. When I talked to my friend about the trip, she told me that she and Lion hadn't actually talked since our e-party, just via Facebook and text. For a grown-ass woman, that's not really talking like how it is for someone in their young 20s.

I told him she mentioned that and he should probably give her a call. He called her and they had a nice chat. He seems to be looking forward to her coming down with us.

He's actually coming to Chicago the Wednesday before we head down so he can take Step 2. He will stay with Easy and me at our apartment and then after my friend's class Thursday night (she's a college professor), we'll head back to St Louis. Easy will join us Saturday.

I'm thinking it will be a great trip and I'm excited for the chance to show her St. Louis and to get to watch a possibly budding relationship for Lion. I've never been witness to it before, so it could be quite interesting.

In St. Louis, we're all staying at his brother's house. His brother has a 4 bedroom house, so there's plenty of room, but it's still an intimate atmosphere. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Pacing In Place

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Michelle was back in June. In that post, I described life changes she was currently making. They were pretty big changes so she had a lot to look forward to in the road ahead.] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

Since that time, things have been moving at a slower pace. The job offer Michelle thought she had has been on hold. She's still waiting to hear from the internship people about a full-time position. In the mean time, she's still applying for jobs and hoping something pans out. She had a job, but the management was so terrible, no wonder they have such high turnover of employees.

On the romance front, she's still talking to the old man. I guess we'll have to give him a name since he's still around. I'll call him Mister, out of respect for his age, ha ha. It's more so how much older than her he is than his actual age. But they're still hanging and they had a talk about the state of their relationship now that she's staying in Chicago.

It basically amounted to him saying he wasn't wasting her time. I'm still not sure what that means, but I guess we'll see as time passes...

Once she gets a job, she'll be figuring out a living situation so she can be fabulous in her 20s in the city.

She's working on the GRE prep, but I'm not sure if she's taking the test in October still anymore. We'll see.

There's so much to still be decided in Michelle's world right now. I have to admit I'm excited for her because they're just so much potential there.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Big Bad Thursday: All Work And No Play? Not These Two

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Bad was three weeks ago. I talked about how he and Jordan worked to find balance between their personal and professional lives and how it was serving them well in their relationship.] Read Big Bad Thursday posts.

Another thing they do that makes them so awesome and strong is they they really make time for the pleasures large and small in life. The biggest example of this was the second weekend of August. It was the weekend of my engagement party.

They both had finals during that time. Papers, projects, tests galore. Yet they made time to come out to the party and really seemed to let their hair down and have fun. The next day, Easy and I invited them along to amazing seats at a White Sox game. They came to that too. We all had a really good time. Personally, I love having adult friends who understand responsibility but also understand how to have fun.

More recently, they went on vacation. They set the timing so they could go right after finals. They go on vacations and have fun. I kind of envy their vacationing. Easy and I haven't been on vacation yet. Travelling for two days to go to an out-of-town gig of his doesn't count. But back to Bad and Tia. I can't wait to hear about their vacation. I know it was great.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: Still Waiting For Prince Charming, But In The Meanwhile...

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Camille was back in June after her trip to Barcelona. In that post, I talked about how she fell "out of like" with a guy because of his behavior on the trip. Other than that, her trip was a lot of fun] Read Wishful Wednesday posts.

Since that time, she and the guy have remained friends. He even went with her to the birthday party of one of her friends. The friend asked him why he wasn't dating Camille and he responded that he wasn't her type. He's never asked her out by the way. I confirmed with Camille that she wasn't interested in dating this guy. They're just friends, even if he does maintain a slight interest in her.

On another note, since the school year has started, Camille is all ready to be in charge of the student group she's president of. I'm expecting great things from her and I'm still so proud she won that position. She's already instilling new things like networking with other grad school groups and having evaluations for board members. She's on her way to being a very powerful and important. They all start small, you know?

I want to bring up a name I haven't mentioned in a while, King. He and Camille have this ongoing flirtation that doesn't seem to ever be in danger of turning into a relationship. Their new things is discussing what life will be like when they get married.

I feel some kind of way about this because I'd rather hear about his ability to make a relationship function from day to day, but whatever. They have made some crazy assertions in this fantasy. The craziest of which is that they'll have five kids. I can't imagine that seeing as how she'll be a high-powered attorney and he'll be a politician. But we all can dream right?

As of now, there are no serious prospects on the horizon, which sucks. But at least there's temporary amusement.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Gloria's Romantic Monday: The Roller Coaster Continues

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Quick Recap [In my last post, I spoke of how Gloria and Gregory were in a tough spot. He wasn't really doing what he needed to do to make her feel like a priority.]Read Romantic Monday posts.

Since that time, things haven't gotten better. They broke up a couple days ago. It seems to be not a permanent break up though. Gregory told Gloria shortly after they broke up that he was still very much in love with her.

He also said that he wasn't used to the tumultuous nature of their relationship. I could totally understand that sentiment of his since Easy and I had a similar issue recently.

I told her how we worked it out. I encouraged her to stay strong and to let him know that he couldn't suggest a break-up every time things got rough between them. I'm hoping for a happy ending to this situation.

When they're good, they're really good. I'm hoping they can get back there soon.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Lion's Life Saturday: Being A Single Man

***Lion is my best friend from college. He's a very focused young man working on getting his MD. This focus makes having a love life a very difficult undertaking. But he's making it happen somehow.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Lion was in the middle of July. At that time, I announced that he had broken up with Rudy and their relationship was over. I didn't harbor any expectations that he would change his mind.] Read Lion's Life Wednesday posts.

I was right, he's still single. Very much single. On one of his away rotations, he was really enjoying himself. It's the expected behavior of a recently liberated man. Especially one who's been in a long-distance relationship for years.

I must admit I'm appreciative of Lion for getting the ball rolling on related-to-my-wedding-possibly-hookups. my fiance Easy and I have been hoping some people would get together because of our wedding since we met at a wedding.

Lion came up for my engagement party in the middle of August and he met a friend of mine from work. They've been chatting and she's coming with Easy and I down to St. Louis in mid September for a gig Easy has. That should be a fun trip.

On another note, Lion is trying to figure out where he's going to apply for residency programs. He's pretty sure he's going with Internal Medicine, but he hasn't chosen his programs yet. He knows he wants to be somewhere warmer than St. Louis and he knows he wants to be near friends and/or family. I'm excited to see what he ends up choosing.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Back Off The Right Track

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Quick Recap [In my last post, I spoke of how Gloria and Gregory had gotten back on track after a rough patch. I was very happy because I'm in full support of them as a couple] Read Romantic Monday posts.

Since that time, things have gotten rocky again. It makes me very sad to say this. Gloria has decided she needs to have the "priorities" talk with Gregory. It's never an easy to have that conversation.

I've had it with an ex or two myself and that crap hardly ever ends well. Usually, the guy responds with apathy instead of the empathy and profuse apologies he <i>should</i> be responding with.

I don't know what's going to happen. Without going into too many details, I can say that Gregory is digging himself into quite a hole. I hope he's the exception and will turn around his priorities. No one should have to be in a relationship in which they're not a priority.

It's all good to work long hours and do what you have to keep your life on track, but there needs to be a balance.

Cross your fingers for this couple. I like having my friends in grown-up relationships.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Big Bad Thursday: Finding Balance Is Key

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Quick Recap [In my last post about Bad, I was really looking forward to having them as neighbors. I envisioned something very Honeymooners. I also complimented Bad and Jordan on their low-maintenance relationship] Read Big Bad Thursday posts.

It's been a while since I posted about anyone on this blog, but I've been super busy and haven't really had time to catch up with my friends since they're all super busy too. Bad is working full time and in grad school, so he's close to one of the busiest of my friends.

But I did catch up with him and I actually remembered to ask about the status of his love life. Things between him and Jordan are good, great even.

They're both in grad school and they both work full time. That is not a recipe for lazing away nights on the couch simply being a couple.

So how do they keep their relationship happy and strong? They make time for each other. They treat their relationship as a priority.

Going out to dinner isn't going to preclude finishing up work on a work or school project that didn't get finished on schedule. They have similar priorities. Their careers are important to them, so neither of them will be upset if the other has to change plans.

Having said that, they do make sure not to change relationship-centric plans to often. They don't have a set date night, but they take full advantage of mutual free time to nurture their relationship.

Moving on to the Honeymooners thoughts I was having. Yeah... that hasn't happened. Easy and I are super busy, just as busy as Bad and Jordan are. They haven't been to our house since we moved in, only Bad came by to help us move. We haven't been to their house since they moved in, only I have been by to help them move.

I'm hoping we can work out more activities in the future, but there just really isn't time. Maybe after they finish finals or something. In fact, I don't expect we'll see them in the next few weeks other than at our engagement party. There's only so many hours in the day.

But I'm glad that I have a close friend with a solid relationship because I still get sad when I think of the demise of <a href="http://quitethelovelife.blogspot.com/search/label/Lion">Lion's</a> relationship.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Tip Top Tuesday: Another Birthday, Another Reflection

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [In my last post, I talked about a date Top had gone on that actually went well. She doesn't leave a lot of first dates having mostly positive things to say, so I took that as a good sign of potential.] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

Since that time, I haven't heard anything else about this guy. That doesn't mean there's nothing to tell, it just hasn't come up yet. Top and I spent the better part of July tracking down her birthday present. I bought it from Macy's online and somehow in the shipping it ended up at the Bronx post office. Weird, right?

Well, it doesn't much matter because she finally got her gift. She's my maid of honor, so a lot of our convos have been about the wedding as well.

I will get back to the point of this post though. Her birthday was at the beginning of July. Around her birthday, Top usually reflects on the past year and what life has been like for her.

Something that stood out in her reflection came after her birthday. She realized that the drama with her ex-boyfriend that played out right around her birthday in 2009 didn't even cross her mind. It hung over her head for her birthday in 2010, but it didn't even register in 2011. This is great news.

I feel like Top is not one of those people who will walk around forever affected by the demise of a relationship, but when big things happen in life, it changes you. Having a subtle shift is way better than toting around your own personal rain cloud.

Every important moment like realizing your ex barely crosses your mind only improves who you are as a person. I have always described Top as fiercely independent, and so I look to moments like this as evidence of it. She should teach a class called "Milestones in Emerging From a Long-Term Relationship." Or maybe something more clever than that...

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Lion's Life Saturday: The End of An Era

***Lion is my best friend from college. He's a very focused young man working on getting his MD. This focus makes having a love life a very difficult undertaking. But he's making it happen somehow.***

Quick Recap: [My last post about Lion was back in the middle of June. I spoke of his feelings about the impending demise of their relationship. I also discussed the decisions he has to make soon regarding medical school.] Read Lion's Life Wednesday posts

Well, two days after that post published. He ended the relationship. He didn't tell me right away. What actually happened is he sent a text that didn't go through. So I didn't find out until this week.

It was incredibly awkward. I texted Rudy to get her address so I could send a Save the Date. She told me she thought it might be awkward, but I could give her my address and she'd still send a gift.

That raised a red flag. So I called Lion and he didn't answer the phone. I was texting some of his other friends who I'm inviting to the wedding to get their addresses, so I casually asked one. He told me Lion had indeed dumped Rudy weeks ago.

I texted Lion and he explained what happened. I felt so bad and sad. He called me on my crap and told me I was more upset for me than I was for him. He was right, but I was sad! I was finally emotionally invested in their relationship, so I was sad to see it end.

He's feeling kind of, um, okay about the whole thing. He misses her, but he feels he made the right decision. I support him no matter what, so I support this decision. And I will try just as hard to make a connection with whoever the next girlfriend is.

One of the main issues he had with their relationship was the physical aspect of it. So, there is good news that he never cheated on her once while they were together. That meant a lot to him since that's an issue she had to deal with in previous relationships.

But as a newly single man, he's getting his feet wet back out there in the game. Good for him. I'm just a bit sad though. And completely unsure of whether or not Rudy and I should maintain any type of relationship. I mean, the only reason I reached out to her was because I wanted to have a good relationship with the girlfriend of one of my best friends.

So now we have to find him a new girl. One who likes discussing adult issues in relationship like an adult. Easier said than done. He's about to be done withe medical school in a year. He needs a grown ass woman and I hope he finds one.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Back Together Again

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Gloria was two weeks ago. I talked about how she was feeling that things weren't going well between her and Gregory. I also talked about her job interview.] Read Romantic Monday posts.

This past Friday, Gregory took off work early and visited Gloria. They spent some much needed time together. Nothing like a little TLC to get a relationship back on track.

When she told me she wasn't coming to my girls' night out, I wasn't upset because I knew she had a good reason. Gregory has been so busy with work, she was feeling seriously neglected.

I told her I was relieved they had gotten back on track cause I was worried she was going to break up with our favorite boyfriend.

Gloria reassured me she hadn't been considering doing that. That made me happy because Michelle and I were very worried.

So Gregory has reassured Gloria of his affections.

About the job interview, she didn't go. She had some stuff out sort out first and that gave her time to look up the company online. They don't have any good reviews. Only bad. How can a company have only negative reviews? I don't know, but I'm certainly glad she chose not to go to the interview.

Hopefully she can soon work out the job issue so she can have some stability going into the next step for her and Gregory.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Tip Top Tuesday: Another First Date

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***
Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

My last post about Top was last week and I was discussing how she had friends who weren't adjusting well to having adult relationships. Or rather, the rest of their lives weren't adjusting well. It's an important topic for people in their 20s entering their first real adult relationships and you should read it if you haven't yet.

But on to this week, Top has gone on another date. I'm happy to report she met this man at a festival she went to recently. I discussed the type of man we decided would be good for Top in a previous post, but I didn't mention where she would meet a guy.

We were thinking some sort of neighborhood or film festival or maybe an art gallery or something. So I was pleased when she said she met this man at a festival.

They went out to dinner and she said he was nice. The guys she goes on dates with are always nice. She said she was very attracted to him as he was very good-looking. That's a good sign since the last guy she went on a date with wasn't at all her cup of tea.

She said the date was fun and she would consider going out with him. That's the exact sort of vague summary you'll always get from Top when there's a new guy. Non-committal, devoid of details.

I don't know if he's asked her out yet. I won't know until she's either gone out with him again or decided she's definitely not going too.

I'm just glad there is that possibility there. She isn't running for the hills and dodging phone calls from him. This is progress. She spoke of the lack of comfort she has with being open on a date. Trying to get to know someone while also letting them get to know you isn't easy for Top.

But she's trying. And I guess we'll see what happens with Festival Guy.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Changing Up The Life Plans In A Big Way

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Michelle was the second week of June. In that post I gave an update about the older man, who was still un-named in the blog. Also, I announced that Terrence had gotten married and never bothered to tell Michelle, who he was claiming his undying love for six months ago, that he was going to do that.] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

I have no updates about Terrence except to say that we all still wish that he had done better when it comes to Michelle. Moving on.

Also, no updates about the older man. He and Michelle seem to be treating their situation like a summer romance even though her whole world has just changed. So we'll see what will come of that in the next couple of weeks.

So what's the big change in Michelle's life? She has changed her mind about grad school. To complete the requirements for her undergraduate degree, she had to do an internship this summer.

The people running the internship invited her to come for a job interview this coming Monday. Michelle likes the job offer on the table a lot. She likes it enough to reconsider her plan for the next year.

Her plan was to go back to Charleston and do their one year Master's Program for her degree. She would get to skip the GRE and only spend one more year down there. That's what changed the plans she and I had to move in together and be single and fabulous in our 20s in Chicago.

But with this job offer, she is ready to stay in Chicago. She would take the GRE in October, and apply for grad school here in the city. It will take longer, but she will have a great job and tuition reimbursement. And it's so much easier to be fabulous in Chicago than it is in Charleston.

She mentioned to me how things can't go the way they were supposed to because now I'm engaged. But I think she can still do her fabulous roommates thing with her twin cousins. I think she's really happy with her decision and I'm happy for her. I love that she'll be around in the city and more accessible than she was in Charleston.

Since this blog is supposed to be about her love life, I will say I wonder how this will affect things with the older man. He has been downplaying things because he kept talking about her leaving in August. Yet, he's extremely, um, affectionate. He's doing the things guys do when they're sprung, I'll say that.

So once it settles in that she isn't leaving any time soon, I wonder if that will change his view of their relationship. I'll let you know the Friday after I know.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Big Bad Thursday: Living and Loving in Hyde Park

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Bad was back at the beginning of June. I talked about the weekend they moved into their apartment, I got engaged, and they hung out with my family for Memorial Day. Good times.] Read Big Bad Thursday posts.

Since then, they've been doing well in their new apartment. They already lived together, so there wasn't any co-habitating adjustments to make. They have more room in their current apartment, so that probably just makes things better.

Bad and Jordan don't really have room for their current dinette set in their apartment, so Easy and I will probably buy it from them once we get our place setup. We did get a Hyde Park apartment, not too far from Bad and Jordan, and we are moving in Friday-Saturday.

I'm so looking forward to having them as neighbors. They are both grad students while working full time. My fiance Easy and I both have ridiculous schedules as well. But I'm looking forward to some time hanging out, maybe having dinner somewhere on 53rd street or grabbing a drink one evening, somewhere we could both walk to.

About Bad and Jordan's love life: they are both extremely busy, but also very independent. They set what I think is a good example of a low-maintenance relationship. They love each other very much and are fully committed to making their relationship work. But they don't do neediness and neither of them is demanding. They give each other room to handle their business and make time for each other so their relationship doesn't get lost in the mix. Take notes people, take notes.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: Falling Out of Like

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Camille was two weeks ago. I talked about how Camille had gone to Barcelona and come back over Bachelor #1. Camille being over a guy she liked is not a new phenomenon, but I didn't have the whole story yet.] Read Wishful Wednesday posts.

The story is that once they were in Barcelona, Bachelor #1 seemed like a different guy to Camille. He went from saying back in the States how physical acts have to have emotions attached and not wanting to rush things to being in Barcelona and he was suddenly looking for girls to "get it in."

Camille really wasn't feeling this huge change in behavior. To her it didn't matter if this was out of character or character-revealing. What mattered is it what such a turn off. And jumping into her bed while she's trying to sleep to drunkenly rub her arms in an attempt to cuddle etc. is a quick way out of her good graces.

So now Bachelor #1 is pretty firmly in the friend box. She still likes talking to him, but any romantic interest has evaporated.

But there was another guy there from her school. This guy is a favorite amongst the women at her school. He's very good looking and he knows it. He has already got a bit of history with a couple of the women at the school. But he happened to catch Camille's eye during the trip.

It wasn't because of his looks (though taking his shirt of on a beach in Barcelona did no harm), it's about his personality. She got the chance to have a couple of conversations with him about topics they've never covered before. I'm not sure she really likes this guy, but her interest was definitely piqued.

Camille is still intending to reach out to the guy from the wedding. She was over him, but neglected to tell him so. This guy is the artist who doesn't understand social norms and has a loose grasp on English pronunciation. Seriously, he pronounces spinach like "Spanish" and explains it away by claiming he's an artist. But she has decided to finally let him know that she is officially just not that into him. I hope she does this soon so he can stop pursuing her and maintain some dignity amongst their mutual friends.

We'll see if she changes her mind about Bachelor #1, if the new been-around-the-block guy holds her interest, and if she really lets down the artist nicely.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Tip Top Tuesday: Other People's Men


***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***
Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

Last week, I talked about some things going in Top's life that didn't concern men. She's got a lot going on with her career and her living situation, and I found it interesting to report. I love talking about the life of a single woman who isn't dating (when her life doesn't revolve around trying to get a date).

Don't think this post is about homewrecking. It's not at all. It's about adjusting to having friendships as an adult. People you were friends with as a child grow and change over time. They enter relationships. Time is the only way to tell if the friendship is able to make the transition to adulthood and co-exist with these relationships.

"He's my rock." It's a phrase that Top hates right now, and for good reason. Every time one of her female friends says this, it's just a matter of time before that "rock" becomes the only thing in the woman's life. I think this is a good topic to cover on a blog about love lives because this happen's so much.

One of Lion's best friends is having the same thing with his girlfriend. He's never called her "his rock", but you never see one without the other. It's as if they are incapable of leading two parallel lives. They are leading one life.

I understand the importance of having a life shared with your partner, but I will never understand that co-dependence of not even being able to make a move without consulting your partner, about anything. It's just too much.

For Top, it's especially bad because she keeps losing friends over this mess. She could use a few more interdependent friends and less co-dependent ones. Friends who know life in an adult relationship isn't about choosing between your significant other and your life-long friends.

And for that matter, why would anyone even want to date someone who is that all-consuming? Don't you want more to you life that having only one person left to talk to?

Monday, June 20, 2011

Gloria's Romantic Monday: Things Fall Apart

***Gloria is a friend of mine I know from church. She is a single mother. She has a boyfriend, Gregory, who we all love and her son's father, Rufus, who we all hate. She is fun-loving and hilarious. Gloria is the type of friend who'd be there for you at a party, when things get tough, or even if you need help applying for school.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Gloria was back at the end of May. In it I talked about what I imagined for her in a perfect world. It wasn't based on reality, just what I wish her life were like. I like doing that from time to time. It's a good way to observe where your life is in relation to how you could imagine what it could be.] Read Romantic Monday posts.

Since that time, I've actually caught up with Gloria on the status of her relationship. She's feeling pretty stressed these days. Things aren't going well between her and Gregory. His job has him working so many days a week and during night at that.

She's feeling very unsatisfied and it has her questioning their relationship. I know that she loves him so much and can see spending the rest of her life with him. But this rough patch is particularly rough on her right now. She's trying to figure out the best way to handle this immense feeling of neglect. I hope she comes up with something that leaves her relationship intact because I lover her and Gregory together so much.

On another note, Gloria has a job interview today. It's too bad I won't be able to update how it went until next week, but that's the nature of how I've set this blog up. She seems pretty excited about it. It's not her dream job, but it would give her some financial stability along with the means to finally grind it out and finish her degree. Keep your fingers crossed that it goes well!

I may have mentioned that Gloria and her son's father Rufus have entered in a new custody agreement. In this agreement, she has all her weekends free now. Because her son is with his father every weekend, she suddenly has all this free time on her hands. I think it's been a mostly positive change because she gets to spend some more time with her friends and family, as well as with herself. If only Gregory had more time, she'd really be able to spend time with him.

On the whole though, things are looking up for Gloria. The potential for her summer is improving. A chance for alone time (though she misses her son when he's gone), a chance at income, a chance to begin finishing school are all great things. Now if only Gregory could get a new job.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Sonny's Sunday: Orange You Glad They're Getting Married Too?

***Sonny is an old friend of mine. We went to elementary, middle, and high school together. He's also my friend who's doing the super-adult thing. He and his new fiancee Cher just bought a house. They're working on planning a life together as well as a wedding next April. Even with all that stability, their love life is still interesting.*** Read Sonny's Sunday posts.

Last week, I talked about looking forward to Sonny and Cher's STDs. Haha, I mean save the dates. I promise I'll only have 22 more immature moments. I also spoke of our (my fiance Easy and I) plans to try and go on a double date with them to do come couple-bonding.

Well, the double date didn't happen. With Sonny's new job, he hasn't had much free time. Hopefully that will change in the next few weeks as things settle down. Also, Easy and I had such a busy day last Sunday, it would've been very difficult to break away to even use the tickets his mother gave us.

But, the Save-the-Date did come in the mail. And I love it! I didn't know orange was going to be their wedding color. I'm so super jealous! Orange is my favorite color. Actually I'm not even a little bit jealous. There's a part of me that didn't want that color in my wedding. I never even asked.

But now I can live vicariously through them and enjoy (and scrapbook) every wonderful bit of orange-y wedding-ness that comes my way from them. And of course, I have pictures to show you. Like most of the pics I take that end up on this particular blog, I was only able to take the pics on my BlackBerry, so I apologize for the poor quality. But here they are!


I told you the quality was terrible. Those random boxes are me covering up personal info you probably can't read because the pixel count is so low. I'm sorry! But you can see how cute they are.

The font is amazing, the envelopes were a great color. And I loved loved loved the ribbon they have tied at the top of the card. Super sweet right? Right.

Okay, I'm done gushing for now. Hopefully next week, I'll have made my reservations with the booking agent for the cruise. I'm so excited to be going on this cruise (especially with Easy cause he'll be my new hubby then!)!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Lion's Life Saturday: Impending Doom

***Lion is my best friend from college. He's a very focused young man working on getting his MD. This focus makes having a love life a very difficult undertaking. But he's making it happen somehow.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Lion was two weeks ago. In it, I described Lion's uncertainty about the future of his relationship with Rudy. I also may have, ahem, described some future bridezilla-type behavior on my part.] Read Lion's Life Wednesday posts

I spoke to Lion recently about the status of his love life and he said the third worst thing I could hear. First would have been that his girlfriend Rudy dumped him. Second would have been that he dumped her.

What he actually told me is that he feels like he is pulling away from her. She has moved back to Boston and living with her parents while she sorts out what she's going to do next.

I'm not sure if her transfer to a grad program in Boston has gone through or not. Hopefully it does so that she can finish her Master's degree. Also, she's still looking for work as far as I know.

When Rudy decided to move back, she didn't tell Lion right away. He was making plans to do an away rotation down in Florida during his upcoming 4th year of med school so that he could spend a whole month with Rudy. But she changed her plans without informing him.

So he's still going down to Florida and doesn't even want to try and get a rotation in Boston. He's not interested in spending a month there while she's living with her parents and not really sure what direction she's headed in.

Her abrupt life change + his upcoming decisions about residency + a general frustration with some problems in their relationship seems to have reached a tipping point for Lion. Like I said, he said he can feel himself pulling away from her. They speak less often and he is worried for the future of their relationship.

Once again, he's trying to figure out what he should do. I didn't offer any advice because he didn't ask for it. I did express sadness over the thought of the possible demise of their relationship though.

Now that I feel emotionally invested in Rudy and Lion's relationship, I don't want to see it end. I wish he would rather have that painful discussion about their problems on the chance that it could work out rather than give up because that's easier.

He hasn't made any firm decisions yet, so there's still time. Cross your fingers with me!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Tip Top Tuesday: Nothing About Men

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Top was three weeks ago. I mentioned this man she went on a date with and how it didn't go well.] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

Top hasn't been on any dates since then. She tends to attract very persistent men, but unfortunately none have come along to interest her in taking a chance on spending time getting to know someone new.

But I still have hope that it will happen when the time is right.

Since Top is ultimately very single, she makes sure that her life doesn't revolve around the search for a man. Those she can find, but she's more focused on her life goals right now.

She's prepping for defending her thesis before the end of the summer. That's exciting because it means a trip to Chicago.

I believe she is intending to have a version of a housewarming while she's here. She'll be moving into her own place in Harlem or Brooklyn starting in August and she needs some stuff. I know it will be a great party and a lot of people who haven't seen her in a long time will be happy to attend such a party.

Like I said, Top tends to attract some persistent men, so I hope none of those persistent men in Chicago get wind that she'll be coming to town cause they will come out of the woodwork. I've seen it happen, ha ha.

But yes, between getting a new place and defending a thesis, a new man doesn't really have room in Top's life right now. Not unless he took the friend route. But I will keep you updated on all the wonderful single happenings in her life.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Sonny's Sunday: Coupledom (Or Maybe Wedding-Planning-dom)

***Sonny is an old friend of mine. We went to elementary, middle, and high school together. He's also my friend who's doing the super-adult thing. He and his new fiancee Cher just bought a house. They're working on planning a life together as well as a wedding next April. Even with all that stability, their love life is still interesting.***

Quick Recap [Two weeks ago, I posted about my interest in pulling Sonny and Cher out of their couple shell, and I added the details I knew about wedding plans.] Read Sonny's Sunday posts.

Sonny texted me the other day to get my address because he and Cher are sending out their Save the Dates this week. I told him my address would be changing soon. But I can't wait to see their STDs  (tee-hee, sorry immature moment). I'm sure they'll be lovely. And maybe inspirational for my own STDs.

Also, Easy, my fiance, came up with a wonderful opportunity for us to spend time with Sonny and Cher. He knows how much it means to me that I get closer to the girls of all my close guy friends. He has four tickets to Ravinia today and we have invited Sonny and Cher to join us.

We don't know if they're able to come just yet, but if they do, we'll look forward to an evening of great live music, maybe a bottle of wine and a picnic dinner. I'm really looking forward to this and a chance to get them to unwind and spend some time making new friends. \

Having couple friends is a good idea? Right? Yeah, I think so.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Terrence Is Still Terrible (aka That Jerk!)

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***
Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

Last week, I gave an update about Michelle and her older man. I don't have any new news from her, so I imagine that means things are the same as before with no change for the better or worse.

But I do have some news. Terrence has resurfaced, and not in a good way. If you clicked that link to review the history of Terrance and Michelle, you would see that they've been through a lot.

The plot thickens. Michelle's sister called her to tell her she saw on Terrence's Facebook page that he had changed his relationship status. From having a girlfriend. To being married. That's right, the man announced on Facebook that he was married.

I was like WTF. Michelle was upset by the news of course. She and Terrence have such a long history and she had to find out 3rd person through Facebook. This makes me extra glad that when I was confused about how and if to tell I was engaged, I ultimately decided to reach out to former guys and let them know myself.

Terrence didn't do that and now I think he's even more of a jerk than before. But I have so many questions. Is he married to that crazy chick from December? Did he have a real wedding? When exactly did he get married? What went into the decision not to tell people he was doing it before he did it?

There's not much to be done except to be sad. But Michelle is a glass half-full type of girl and I love that about her. She took the news as a sign that she really needed to work on herself emotionally so that she didn't feel to connected to him.

If Michelle can get past her feelings for Terrence, she feels like she would be more emotionally available when she meets new potential guys. I like that she's thinking that way because she's looking forward to a time when she'll be emotionally ready for an adult relationship with a man who's worthy of her.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: She's Over Bachelor #1

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***
Read Wishful Wednesday posts.

Last week, I mentioned that Camille was in Barcelona for a class trip and that Bachelor #1 was with her. But she came back from Barcelona and the first thing she told me after congratulations on my engagement is that she's over Bachelor #1!

I don't know the whole story yet because with the way my schedule has been going, we just haven't had time to catch up. But I figure this will make for an interesting story. I was hoping she'd come back with tales of a passionate bloom of relationship, not a dead panned statement.

But I will have more next week. And not just about another guy she's just not that into, but also about how wonderful Barcelona is.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Lion's Life Saturday: My Love Fest Was Premature

***Lion is my best friend from college. He's a very focused young man working on getting his MD. This focus makes having a love life a very difficult undertaking. But he's making it happen somehow.***

Last week, I basically wrote an ode to Lion's girlfriend, Rudy. I think she is great, mostly because of how great she's being to me. But like the title says, the love fest was premature.

I got engaged on Sunday, and Lion is going to be my best man. I'm having a maid of honor and best man, and so is my fiance, and we don't think it's weird, so neither should you. Moving on from the run-on sentence...

I told Lion I was going to send Rudy her own separate invitation so he could still get a plus one and bring his father or his brother. He was immediately horrified. Literally, the pitch of his voice raised as well as the volume.

He requested that I don't send her a separate invitation because he wasn't sure how long they'd be together. I told him if they've been together all this time, what's 8 more months? "My wedding isn't 2 years away, it's in a number of months," I said.

He didn't care. But once he explained it, it made more sense. He is going to be sorting out residency programs that could be God-only-knows all around the country. Rudy hasn't moved back home to Boston yet, but she has quit her job and is working on transferring to a different grad school.

Lion feels that they may not make the transition. Every couple has issues, but he feels like theirs will become insurmountable in the face of all the big life changes they've got coming up.

Now that I've got a chick crush on Rudy (she's just so sweet!), I'm officially emotionally invested in their relationship. So I didn't agree to not send her an individual invite. I did, however, give him til mid-December, when they're supposed to go out, to come to a decision about them as a couple.

If he still hasn't sorted it out, I'm inviting her because I love her. And then if he must end things, he'll just have to wait until after Valentine's Day to do it.

I'm fully aware that this is my first behavior that can be officially classified as bridezilla. I'm putting one day and one invitation ahead of my best friend's happiness. I'm aware. And I'm sorry (not really, at least not yet).

Friday, June 3, 2011

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: More About The Older Man

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***
Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

My last post about Michelle was just a short update on what I knew about her love life, which wasn't much.

She read that post and filled me in on more stuff about the older guy. She asked that I not name him yet until we know for sure his lasting power. I would just name him for the alphabet dates, but that would be rude, at least for now.

So instead he just gets called the older guy. I'm fine with that for now. Because everyone else who got a blog name turned out to be useless, so this guy could be wort the wait.

The reason I didn't know all the details of Michelle's love life is because she works a lot. She has an internship she's doing this summer that works a lot of hours. It's for class credit. I believe it's required for her undergraduate degree (even though she already graduated) or it could be for her Master's. But the point is, it's right in the line of career training and could present a job opportunity for as soon as she's done with school.

But back to the love life. This older guy works a lot so usually when they hang out, it's her going to his house. It wouldn't be always that way if she wasn't staying at home with her father this summer. But he looks out for her. He even gave her gas money, which was nice.

The older guy is still getting used to the idea that Michelle is so much younger than the other women he's dates. He's 33, not 35 like I previously said. But still, there's a 10 year difference there and the most he's ever done before is 4 years. He's slowly adjusting and realizing the benefits of being involved with a woman not quite yet in her mid-20s.

1. There's no wedding itch. 2. There's likely to not be an ex-husband. 3. She's likely to not have yet experienced enough to leave her with a man-hating chip on her shoulder.

Michelle isn't trying to rush him to the altar and he is loving that. Loving it, you hear me?

But Michelle is still waiting to see if he's going to step up his efforts or leave them in this situation where they're fitting each other in when they have a chance. Building something real takes more than just your super free time, it takes commitment and mutual desire to spend more time together.

If this guy makes that turn into something more, he'll get a blog name. I just hope he makes it an organic move and doesn't decide tomorrow he wants Michelle to be his girlfriend. I hate when her guys do that. How about building a foundation guys? Not just having a girlfriend for the sake of the title. I guess hope that's the benefit of an older man.

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