Tip Top Tuesday: Multiple Stories That Would Only Happen To An Independent Single Girl

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Top was back at the beginning of February. I discussed how men from her past just won't stay away. The latest was a resurgence of CG He was making all the rookie mistakes when wooing a woman who's just not that into you. But he had changed his tactics and was giving it another shot. Top was trying to figure out how to get him to be done with her once and for all, without being a complete jackass about it. That is easier said than done. In today's post, I'll follow up on that, but first I have other stories to tell.] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

So I mentioned in Friday's post about Michelle how Bad's friend Mellow had an encounter with Top before Michelle. I figured I'd tell that story here now. Top and I had planned out a pretty good evening. It made us feel like we were being adults. I think we were circling 24. Maybe she was already and I wasn't yet.


Bad decided to join us and he brings his close friend who I always had fun with named Mellow. Bad is almost exactly my age, but Mellow had just made 21, so he didn't quite fit Top's idea of what being grown-up looked like. But the four of us were out there nonetheless. Good food, good live music, seats at the bar, two attractive men joining us to keep us company. And then the flirting began.


For a while I thought it might go somewhere, but it didn't. There was just flirting. A few times, Mellow closed in on Top's personal space and she shut that down. But we still kept a festive mood and we all had a great time that night. At the end of the night, there was no exchange of phone numbers, definitely no incriminating photos, and no super sexy dances. But Top did mention that she thought he would be pretty desirable if he weren't so obviously a fresh 21.


Moving on to the next story, another guy from the past popped up while I was in St. Louis. This dude has it bad for Top. I think of him as waste-of-potential-guy, so his name will be Wop Guy. Looks, background, personality, but somehow it doesn't add up to a date-able guy. At least not when it comes to Top. But he calls her not too long ago to tell her that he's in love with her. They've never been a couple or had any involvement that lasted more than a few months here and there over the years. To Top, that means he couldn't possibly be in love and is projecting onto her.


How did that turn out? Well, we spent a while on the phone trying to figure out the best way to let him know they weren't ever going to be involved ever again. Before she could do that, he pleaded his case, accused her of being unfair, and threw a pretty classic tantrum. But then Top let him know that she wasn't interested and wasn't going to be interested.


How did he take it? He offered his willingness to relocate and wanted to come visit NYC to show her how things could be before she gives up. They went back and forth until Top just gave up and got off the phone. So Wop Guy will be back. Even though Top has decided they will no longer be friends, he will be back. Back to bring laughter into my life. Hopefully not for at least a few months. But who knows. "Love" makes you do crazy things.

And moving on to the update of the last post. The CG (college guy) man was plotting on her uterus and advising her about adoption, birth control pills, and other things one shouldn't discuss with a women he isn't even dating. He also needed to be told that Top wasn't interested. She just attracts the most persistent guys. It's kind of funny. Well, it's very funny. If only these guys knew how embarrassed they should be for their behavior, I'm sure they would act differently.


This CG man is out. Top hasn't spoken to him. I guess he crossed a line criticizing her life choices while spouting bullshit about his open-mindedness towards her free-spirit nature. That means whenever he calls again, they will have "the talk". Hopefully CG is a better listener than Wop Guy. Because I don't want Top to have to deal with this Rolodex of men who can't take a hint. Even when you're saying, "I'm Not Interested In Dating You".


Other things happened, but this post is getting super long, so I'll just write about it next week. It's like a soap opera cliffhanger. Well, not really.

Tip Top Tuesday: Man Eater? Depends on Who You Ask

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who is a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap[The last time I wrote about Top, she had decided to focus on herself again. Things with CG hadn't ended well. She was focusing on her career and her life in NYC. She was turning down any guy who seemed like he might be like the rest. By that, I mean that any guy who was placing these expectations on Top they had in mind before they even met her. You'd think the guy would at least edit their expectations to fit her, nah they just had a cookie cutter vision which only led to disappointment because Top is anything but cookie cutter.]

Read the Tip Top Tuesday posts.

So, in the month since I've written about Top, not much has developed in her love life in terms of a guy worth mentioning. But she has been making friends with a man at work who seems to be romantically interested in her. I don't know that anything will come of it, but I'm glad to hear that she's encouraging a friendship with someone she knows likes her.

There is another guy who isn't available to Top to like, but that hasn't stopped him from becoming emotionally involved with her. Unfortunately, he's all alone in this emotional situation. It's actually kind of funny. I can't imagine how these guys are getting themselves into these situations. At least he hasn't declared his love for Top yet. May I mention again that he's not available to even officially want her. But then again, there's always next week for him to further make a fool of himself.

Tip Top Tuesday: Top If Focusing On Herself Again

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who is a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [Last time I wrote about Top, she had just dismissed CG. He went to college with us and was trying to find a place to relocate to. When he visited NYC, he and Top investigated their potential. Turns out, she decided they had none]

She's not exactly shifting the focus away from me, she's just not focusing on them. She is taking a look at herself, what she wants out of life, and how that translates to relationships with men. There are men, but none worth giving a blog name too. Some interesting stories have emerged with a certain man, but I won't get into it here.

Top has had some fun stories pop up as she makes new friends and explores New York. One quick one is a night out with friends where she made out with this guy she didn't know that well. I don't know if she'd ever done that before, but it was new to me. It's been on my list of things to do, but had never been presented with the opportunity by someone who I actually wanted to kiss.

Who knows when the next guy will come along to try and sweep her off her feet. I hope he's careful because guys don't have the best luck with Top. They keep projecting what they want onto her. She tells them she's not so into the idea of a relationship on the fast track to marriage and they never seem to hear her or believe her or whatever. But it doesn't end well. I hope the next guy who really likes her reads my blog and realizes, take things slow, try to have fun, and stop placing these ridiculous expectations because you think you've fallen in love with a woman you've been hanging out with for 6 weeks. Stop it!

Tip Top Tuesday: Another One Bites The Dust

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who is a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap: Top is single. She is single by choice. She has been talking to a guy named CG and liking him more and more. He's lives in a different state and recently came to NYC soon to visit her. This trip for him is to visit her but also to visit NYC because he's looking for a place to settle in since graduating grad school.

 

CG's trip to NYC to visit Top was a success. They went to the Maxwell/Jill Scott concert and had a great time. They visited several areas of New York and did a combo of the tourist and hometown thing. When Top described the trip to me, it sounded like they had the best time ever. What's even better, CG loved NYC!

 

It sounded like things had gone so well and were off to a terrific start. CG went to L.A. the next weekend with his cousin to visit the cousin and also to visit L.A. I don't know how that trip went because sometime in that gap of days, CG and Top had an argument from which I don't think CG can recover. Top liked him, but apparently not enough. I never really had time to form an opinion about CG other than to like the fact that she liked him. I never knew CG in college, so I wasn't biased one way or another.

 

At least she got a great story and learned that she can really show someone her city and make them fall in love with it. I don't know for sure that CG is definitely gone, but it's looking that way...

Tip Top Tuesday: Top Keeps Unsuccessfully Minding Her Own Business

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who is a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap: Top is single. She is single by choice, ever since getting rid of Jack. She has been talking on the phone to a guy named CG and liking him more and more. He's lives in a different state and is coming to NYC soon to visit her.

Top has never been one of those women who lament that she doesn't have a boyfriend. In fact, she doesn't go long without a boyfriend. But that's not because she's out there looking for one. They always seem to find her.

It would mystify some of the women I know if they knew what type of men Top attracts. She's one of the most independent women I know. For her, being with a man would be a choice and an addition to her life after much careful thought. She'd never have a man because she needed him or had to rely on him. She's better at making a man feel needed in other ways, lol.

For some reason, she attracts guys who are the stereotype of the Marrying Guy. It's amusing. She's the poster child for finding it when you're not looking for it. CG is the perfect example of this. She wasn't looking for him. When he called her up to catch up, she was just interested in getting to know an old friend again. But then he realized he liked her and kept calling. Then she realized she liked him too.

It always happens that way for her. A guy pursues her friendship and later a relationship develops. She should give a seminar to some of my more man-hungry friends. They could use a dose of Top's patience and self-focus. She's not at all self-centered. But she truly spends time improving herself and so she is free and ready when the right man comes along. Is CG the right man you ask? I sure as hell don't know. But I find it interesting to watch as she gets closer to finding the answer to that question.

I did ask Top how she would feel if he moved to NYC after his visit. Her response was, "I wouldn't mind." That's a great response. That means she feels he has enough of his own life going that he wouldn't be doing it to follow her in a stalkerish way.

Tip Top Tuesday: Focusing on Being Single Was Thankfully Just A Phase

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who is a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap: When I last wrote about Top on this blog, it was to say that she was starting to like the guy from college, who I'm going to call CG (college guy) from now on. She was still enjoying being single very much. Mostly, they were just old friends from school who were chatting on the phone to catch up. He expresses that he likes her and has for a while, but they stay in the friend box. Over time as Top begins to get to know CG better, she realized she could like him too.

I say that I'm thankful that Top wanting to be single no matter what was just a phase because I write about her in my blog. Imagine if she was single for the forseeable future. All I'd have to write about is her rejecting suitors left and right. While that's certainly amusing, it's not as fun for me as writing about someone's path to falling in love. So for purely selfish reasons, I'm glad she's liking CG.

I've mentioned on my main blog that I went to the Maxwell & Jill Scott concert last Tuesday night. It was a blast of course. This was something I would've done with Top before she moved to NYC. So  I went in Chicago and she's going in New York next month. And... she's taking CG with her. He's going to visit her there and they're going to the concert together. That should definitely make for an interesting story.

Also, Top recently told me that she is really officially liking CG and if only he lived in New York, she would date him. One of my favorite things about Top is she knows when to make a change. When she decided not to date for a while after the Jack debacle, it was the perfect decision. It allowed her room to focus on herself. And a side bonus was that she got to know CG really well just as a friend. Since Top is very comfortable being honest with herself, when she decided she liked him, she didn't have a mini personal crisis; I'm definitely planning on being like her when I grow up.

I don't know where these two are headed, but it will almost definitely make a great blog post, lol. CG is still looking for a new place to settle down now that grad school is done. I wonder if he'll fall in love with NYC and what it has to offer on his visit. Perhaps he can find a non-stalkerish way to move there so he and Top can date. Or maybe they'll just be great friends for whom the timing was never quite right. We shall see.