Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Tip Top Tuesday: He Wants What He Can't Have

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Top was earlier this month. It's not that things haven't happened since then, I just didn't have the story yet to share. In the last post, I was talking about her becoming fearless in love like she is in a lot of other aspects of her life. I spoke of looking forward to that time. In an even earlier post, I mentioned a man who isn't available to even like Top. I thought I wouldn't hear much more about him.] Read all the Tip Top Tuesday posts.

I was so wrong about that guy. I guess he needs a blog name now. I'll call him Dan. Just to be clear, Dan is the man who I said wasn't allowed to like Top. He's also the one who wrote her a poem. He's written more since then. He's had a very useful purpose. He's given her someone to like who isn't even available to be with, so he provides a bit of safety for her emotions. Top saw this as pretty essential.

But things have changed sine he was the safe guy to like. He's still the most relevant guy she's dealt with since things ended with her ex. But he's gone a bit further. He wants to be with her. I'm not even sure how that would work since the reason he's not available is that he has someone else. But nevertheless, it's what he wants. Top is no home wrecker though, so he's not going to walk away from a current situation and then be with her the next day.

The analogy we came up with is that men tend to see her as Toys R Us when she's more of a Chuck E. Cheese. You can play with the games, but all you take home from Chuck E. Cheese are those crappy prizes that aren't worth the money you spent. These men, Dan included, see her as Toys R Us, where you get to take home every toy you opened and played with in the store. If you decide, you can have it all.

But Dan does strike Top as different. In his own way, he's a very worthwhile man for her to have a friendship with. He makes her laugh, and he's actually getting to know her. I don't know how many men those of you who read this blog know, but it's not a common thing. It's not even a man thing; it's a people thing. People tend to want someone they like to fit into their box of expectations. Finding a person who wants to get to know who you are for you without those expectations is very rare.

So for now, Top is enjoying his attention and enjoying the feeling you get from having someone (who is worthwhile) genuinely interested in you. She's enjoying feeling comfortable with him because they're friends.

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