Saturday, August 21, 2010

Noni's Stargazing Saturday: Settling Into Family Life

***Noni is one of my really good friends from college. She's starting a family with a baby boy and working on herself and her relationships at the same time. Things won't always be easy, but they're usually always interesting.***

Quick Recap[When I last wrote about Noni, she had just had her baby boy a few week prior. It was a long pregnancy, but finally it came to an end. She was enjoying being a new mom, fighting the urge to spoil her baby. In terms of romance, she was losing her mind. She felt like the six week mark would never be reached *dramatic face*. Her and her fiance, Eric, were definitely looking forward to the return of something that was a normal part of their relationship.] Read Noni's Posts.

By now, the six week mark has come and gone. Noni and Eric are much happier people now. Wouldn't you be?

Noni is adjusting to life with a schedule. She naps with the baby sometimes, uses the other nap times to clean the house and to cook dinner when it gets close to the time for Eric to get home from work. I could be wrong, but I think this schedule will eventually drive her bonkers. I think this can be attributed mostly to the fact that she doesn't get a lot of variety or outdoors in the schedule. But as her son gets older, I'm sure this schedule can be altered occasionally.

Noni is a friend I speak to a lot about my guy situation. She's a good one to talk to because she never tries to fix the problem. She just lets me talk things out for myself. She's a great listener (actually all my friends are great listeners, it's her responses that make her a great candidate for discussing uncertainty about men with). While I was discussing the whole PT/Easy situation with her, she made a comment that she missed being single. Even though we were talking about my unhappiness in my current situation, that led to her missing having the easy option of walking away if things weren't working out.

She could walk away from Eric if things didn't go well (by the way, things are going well between them), but it's a trickier situation to break off an engagement and even more complicated when you share a child. I asked her why she missed being single. She said she didn't have the option to be selfish. I laughed because she's the opposite of selfish. I reminded her that she couldn't really be selfish if she tried. Even if she was single, she'd just behave unselfishly toward whatever guy she was dating/talking to/sleeping with. She had a good laugh at that and then said, so maybe she didn't have a good reason, but just missed the lack of complication because relationships are complicated. That I could agree with. I don't think I've ever had a relationship (years ago though they were) that wasn't painfully complicated in one way or another.

I'm glad that Noni chose to express her feelings of missing being single to me instead of sharing them with Eric. I imagine he wouldn't have reacted the same way I did. I shall remember this lesson to not feel the need to share every thought with your significant other. Find some other way to vent.

In my next post about Noni, I'll probably discuss why she's been engaged for over a year with no exact wedding date in sight. It's a crazy story.

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