Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Free And Clear In The New Year

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

What.The.Fuck?! Why is it when men make a choice, and that choice isn't you, do they feel the need to keep some interaction?

That is a sentence in my last post about Michelle. That was two weeks ago.
 
In that post, I was happily explaining how all the worthless men in Michelle's romantic orbit had run their course.
 
They were not to be mentioned again, except in footnotes of unwelcome text messages.
 
Even the ones who would stay friends don't get full mentions because this blog isn't about her friends, it's about her love life.
 
I was looking forward to Terrence's return home for the Christmas holiday.
 
And it seemed like things were looking up. They hung out when he first got home and he was really laying it on thick.
 
He was talking about his idea for their near and distant futures together.
 
But Terrence wants a girlfriend.
 
Michelle doesn't want a boyfriend, especially not one who's about to be guaranteed away from home 99% of the time for the next four years.
 
What was the result of that? It didn't end well.
 
Which brings me back to the quote above.
 

What.The.Fuck?! Why is it when men make a choice, and that choice isn't you, do they feel the need to keep some interaction?

 
Terrence is not that kind of man.
 
He met this other girl at some point before he shipped off to boot camp.
 
When he came back, she was more into the idea of being his girlfriend than Michele was.
 
Apparently, the idea of dating one person at a time is foreign to Terrence.
 
It's just ridiculous because some of the things he was saying would suggest she wasn't so easily replaceable.

I guess acting neglectfully or acting completely interested to the point of making plans for years in the future might as well be interchangeable.

It netted the same result.

This is twice in a month that this has happened now. Michelle keeps attracting these guys who claim they want a serious relationship with her.

But it turns out is all they want is a serious relationship with someone. I'm not even sure the word serious applies here.

They just wanted a girlfriend. Any old chick could apparently fit into that slot.

If they ask one chick to be the girlfriend and she says no, somehow less than a week later, they have another girlfriend?

And not just any other girlfriend, it's some chick they also were talking to the entire time they were trying to make Michelle the girlfriend.

Somehow, they end up looking something other than genuine or sincere. They just look full of shit.

These guys are looking for an easy route, a girlfriend without the trouble of building a connection and relationship first. Yeah, that's gonna end well.

I have no idea what to expect for Michelle in the new year, but I hope there's nothing to do with guys who don't know what they want or guys who know what they want but don't take into account what Michelle wants or guys who are just generally full of shit.

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: The Mystery Man Is Still A Mystery

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

Yes, the mystery man is still a mystery.

I keep hearing more about him, but there have been no moves made to actually introduce him to Camille.

When I decide I'm going to set up two friends, I certainly don't go about it this way.

I don't mention one to the other and then talk about that person for weeks.

I would tell each person about the other to assess whether they have an interest in meeting each other.

But I guess Camille's friend is working on letting this guy know about Camille.

I hope she shares good stories, cause Camille is great.

I expect I'll have something concrete to report by next week because by then the friend will be back from Christmas vacation.

Christmas vacation was when she was supposed to assess his level of interest.

This has to be one of the longest setups in history, lol.

Tip Top Tuesday: When Will The Men Learn?

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Top was a couple weeks ago. There was talk about Dan and talk about her work life. Nothing else worth mentioning was really going on in her love life] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

In the last couple of weeks, something interesting happened with Dan.

I'm not really sure how to explain it, but let's just say some people can't handle their alcohol.

They were out for drinks one night and he started expressing himself.

If you remember, Dan has a lot going on in his life right now, and he is not in a position to pursue her.

She's also not a position to be pursued. The last few months of blog posts, should tell you that. Top doesn't want or need a relationship with anyone right now.

So how do most men respond to this lack of desire for a relationship? Why, they get liquored up and declare they'd like a relationship with Top!

It never fails. Eventually, they all get to this point. I'm not sure what makes these guys think that liquid courage will make everything alright.

They think this in spite of the fact that they would have kept those thoughts to themselves while sober.

So Top let him know that he was asking for something that wasn't ever going to happen.

I think he got the picture. Since that happened, he hasn't been saying anything else about wanting to be with Top.

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: Musings On A Mystery Man

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

Last week, I was happy to report about the pseudo-official exiting of many useless men from Camille's world.

I did introduce a new fellow, the athlete. He won't get a name though until Camille actually meets him.

We've learned more about him in the last week.

This mystery man come from a two-parent household.

His mother is a bit over-bearing, but has a huge heart and really loves her son.

He has plans to go to divinity school (maybe) after his current career is over.

He has no children. That's really rare for a young black man in his position.

He grew up with a friend of Camille's from California. She's the one who's working on setting this guy and Camille up.

She's been telling Camille all these wonderful things about this man.

But she hasn't brought Camille up to him yet. That seems weird, I know, but it's coming.

She will see this guy during the Christmas holiday, and she will be telling him about Camille the, face to face, just like she told Camille about him face to face.

I don't know when they will get a chance to meet seeing as how he's very busy and will be until February.

But Camille is super busy too, so I guess it's not that big of a deal.

Hopefully, I'll know more about this mystery guy next week since Christmas is in a few days.

Maybe there will have been some contact. A phone call or e-mail or something.

This guy looks great on paper. He's actually pretty good-looking as well (I've seen his photo). I'd love to give him a name on this blog.

Test Blog

I'm trying to setup my mobile blogging. This is a test e-mail to see how it will turn up on a blog post.
CeCe Savage

Noni's Stargazing Saturday: Heading Down The Roller Coaster Again

***Noni is one of my really good friends from college. We were even roommates for a year and some change. But she's done with school (for now). She's starting a family with a baby boy and working on herself and her relationship at the same time. Things won't always be easy, but they're usually always interesting.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Noni was about a month ago. I was talking about how things had improved between her and Eric concerning their home life. I also spoke about how he was finally showing some consistency on improving his behavior.]Read Stargazing Saturday posts.

Since that time, Eric has been screwing up again. When Noni asked him why he had stopped helping.

He told her he didn't see why it was a big deal because she was doing it all before, why couldn't she do it now?

He intended to help, but I guess he didn't intend to do it every single day for the rest of their lives together.

It's frustrating to Noni because she thought that maybe this time he had actually changed. Unfortunately, he hasn't.

I don't know what's going to happen with them. Maybe they'll constantly fight about what she wants from him that he's not willing to provide.

It seems as if he wasn't really prepared for the life they built. They didn't plan on Noni getting pregnant, but they also didn't take precautions to keep it from happening.

All I know is, Noni isn't getting what she wants from him. She's tried talking to him, she's tried yelling at him, and she's even tried leaving him.

But she still loves him and still wants to be with him. It will be interesting to see where their relationship goes from here.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: It Seems These Men Will Never Go Away

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Last week, I was happy to discuss Darren's demise, even though I had been rooting for him before that happened.

That's usually how things go. Things are great with a new guy, until it falls apart. Then inevitable questions arise.

Whose fault was it? Is this worth fighting for? Do I want to keep this person in my life in some capacity?

I don't know if Michelle is asking herself these questions about these men or not.

It's not like she's had very much time for self-reflection. They won't stay gone long enough for that.

Darren has reached out to her via text message. What did the text say? "Hey buddy."

What.The.Fuck?! Why is it when men make a choice, and that choice isn't you, do they feel the need to keep some interaction?

It's like a deleted scene from Bill Bellamy's "How To Be A Player".

I guess he figured they could keep doing their will-we-be-friends-or-not dance until he sees how things work out with that other chick.

All I can say is that I'm super happy Michelle didn't respond to his text message at all.

Moving on the waste of time that is Michael. He has also reached out to Michelle.

If this guy wants her in his life, why can't he be more proactive about it. Blackberry Messenger IMs talking about how you feel can be useful.

But not when the bulk of your conversation is about how the other person doesn't talk to you as much as they used to. Stop complaining, be proactive!

If you want to see the girl, ask her out dumb ass? But what if she says no? Your punk ass should be able to take the risk if you like her like you think you do.

Would it be better to just sit in the wings and occasionally IM and make yourself seem less and less desirable because you can't take a firm position or consistent behavior?

Michelle has decided that she and Michael are going to be "just friends". She said she's sick of making plans with him only to be stood up or cancelled on at the last moment. I think that's wise.

And moving on to Terrence. He gets back to town today. I can't tell if Michelle is super excited or just regular excited.

I think that she's regular excited for now because she doesn't actually expect to see him today. I believe his plans are to spend this first day back with just him family.

But they've been texting back and forth and he's laying it on pretty thick. So I figure she's well on her way to super excited.

Which is perfectly acceptable. After all, they have quite a history. He's the first boy she ever loved.

And I love that moment, before any concrete interactions have ruined it, when everything is shiny and new and full of potential.

They aren't shiny and new because they have so much history, but because it's been so long since they've seen each other.

They've been in contact while he was away and now they get to see where all this talking and reconnecting will lead.

I'll be glad to report next week how it's going between Michelle and Terrence. And I'm hoping I'll have nothing to add about either Michael or Darren.

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: Getting Rid of Useless Baggage To Make Room For Worthwhile Possessions

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

So in the past week, Camille has managed to not meet any super questionable men she had to get rid of.

She did, however, get contacted by worthless men from her past.

I don't know that these men are all-around worthless. They are just worthless when it comes to Camille.

One doesn't even have a name on this blog because he's relatively ancient history.

But I will give a brief history in Camille's own words.

She told me he called but that she didn't call back and was worried she was being rude.

I told her she shouldn't feel bad because this particular guy wasn't good enough for her.

She said,

"Just bc he had a hidden child for 10 years, smokes weed EVERYDAY, plays video games EVERYDAY, never took me out, ad has gucci mane as his idol means he's not good enough?"

She was being funny by asking the question because she agrees with me.

Camille says she'll return his call after her finals are over. I hope he was just calling to wish her a belated birthday.

Of course he didn't leave a voicemail cause that would take too much effort. Moving on.

She has decided to give up on King. I suppose that's for the best.

Camille thinks he doesn't like her the way he used to. That's a very good reason to move on.

And then she received a belated birthday call from Malik. They had a three minute conversation in which she acted as uninterested as possible.

From the content of the convo, it seems as if he was feeling her out for the possibility of picking things up where he'd last carelessly left them.

I'm glad she made it pretty clear that wasn't an option.

We decided she would no longer put up with any kind of just-not-that-into-you behavior. I think it's a good rule to follow for myself as well.

Once a guy starts acting up, he's out. That's a luxury those of us without lifelong bonds like marriage and children can do.

And she's gonna try and stay away from guys that are of different religions. It's not something to even be concerned about.

But in Camille's case, these guys come from these religions that have such strict views that dating someone of a different religion is more a hindrance than anything else.

There is a guy that has been brought up that could be interesting.

All I'll say for now is that he comes from an easygoing religion. He's also reported to be a gentleman, from a nice family, and a genuinely good person. And he's an athlete.

I'll leave it at that until there's something more concrete to go on. Such as actually meeting him. He's a friend of a friend.

Tip Top Tuesday: Poetry And Work, Oh And Men Too

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Top talked about how the reason Dan has become an important part of her world is because he wasn't easily dismissible because of circumstances. I also introduced a new guy I called No Name Date Guy. He seemed to be providing a bit of spontaneous fun for Top.] Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

Dan still holds his place of importance. He and Top are still good friends. From the outside looking in, it seems as if he's been very instrumental in getting her to feel safe about opening her heart again.

She's writing poetry again. Other than the other poetry she wrote last month, it had been years since I heard her say she wrote a poem.

She was feeling inspired and Dan had a lot to do with that. But this poetry writing has shown me that there's still this wall up.

Top has no intention of ever letting Dan see the poems. I think this is a wise decision because it might be the catalyst to push things farther than they need to go.

But that means there is still this limit of how close they can get.

I don't have anything new to report about No Name Date Guy. Maybe he's gone, maybe he's not. He really was just a blip on the radar.

I'm thinking he was only mentioned because the story connected to picking out clothes. I do love clothes.

But on to other interesting things. I've said that Top is a girl who focuses on her career a lot. And she has really made some strides.

Her job has evolved to where she's now in charge of coordinating events for the next calendar year. I try not to talk too much about work here, but it's just really exciting.

She's reached out to some pretty big name music artists to help promote events. Her job is non-profit, so they do a lot of fundraising.

Being able to raise that money makes such a difference in the lives of the community they serve. I wish they knew who was solely responsible for the boost they will get in revenue next year.

I'm feeling really hopeful that things will work out and a couple of the people she's reached out to will be able to accommodate her request.

A tip for people who are single and like it that way: be like Top and have other things going on in your life. Other important things that really matter in the world around you. That way your life can still be complete.

Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: Goodbye Darren, Hello Terrence

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [It's been a couple of weeks since I've written about Michelle. It's been a couple of weeks since I've really written about anyone. But that last post was a hopeful one about a new guy, Darren. He'd actually been around for a while, but that was the first time I had mentioned him. He was this person shoe had a great chemistry with and she was finally starting to explore that, even though they had an interesting history] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.

Well, since that time, Darren has proven himself unworthy. It happens with every guy until it doesn't, so I guess I'm not surprised.

What happened with them is actually very similar to what happened with Easy and me.

After dancing around and toward each other, he managed to break down some of her barriers to the idea of them.

He was, after all, involved with her cousin (although only for a couple weeks) before setting his sights on her.

But they hung out like they were supposed to that Friday night. Things went well. Michelle found herself leaning towards getting over her issues about his history with her cousin, Thing 1.

Sidenote: I've finally searched through my blog posts and figured out which twin cousin I had labeled Thing 1 and which one was Thing 2 aka Chocolate Thunda (please get the Cat in the Hat reference, please).

What happens next was quite a surprise. Michelle ended up not hearing from Darren for a couple of days.

She didn't think too much of it because she's in the full swing of working on projects for finals right now.

She happened to be on Facebook and saw that his status update indicated he was now in a relationship.

Darren texted Michelle a few days after that to tell her he missed her and ask how she felt about their time together the previous Friday evening.

She took that opportunity to ask him about his new status. He immediately apologized.

His response was something like,

"I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want you to be upset. You always have your guard up and seemed so unsure about us. I was talking to this other girl too. She seemed to really want to be with me. So I took a chance on her."

After hearing that, Michelle was floored. She was definitely having a what.the.fuck. moment.

What do you even say to that? Good luck on your relationship? Nah, that wouldn't be an honest response.

She let Darren know that he sucked for jumping into a relationship without telling her. And also for being in a relationship and continuing to behave as if he were pursuing her.

I think it's a pretty universal rule that once you have a girlfriend, you shouldn't be sending other girls texts about how you miss them and want to kiss them again etc.

I liked Darren from what she had told me about him because he seemed sweetly persistent.

Michelle does have a short wall up, but he seemed ready and willing to work to get it down.

But then the first girl who comes along who suggests a relationship can get him? He's an idiot as far as I'm concerned.

Who even jumps into a relationship anyway these days?

You don't just say, "I like you, be my boyfriend." That's high school behavior.

Adults date. They work toward a relationship. They see if mixing their two lives is something that can work.

And before he was in this "relationship", he was talking to and texting Michelle almost everyday.

There aren't enough hours in the day to do that with multiple people, so I just really doubt the validity of this new girlfriend.

I don't expect they'll last long because they have no foundation. And when they are done, he'll probably be back to Michelle, trying to explain how he made a mistake.

I hope she tells him to go suck an egg. Well that's not fair. It will depend on how she feels about him at that time. But still, that would be funny if she did.

Moving on to the next. There is this guy who I will call Terrence. He is Michelle's ex. He is due home next week I believe.

Where has he been? In the Armed Forces. She is very much looking forward to his return home. I"m sure that will make for some interesting stories because they have a very intense relationship.

Big Bad Thursday: Drama Free Is Their Signature Style

***Big Bad Thursday is all about Bad. He's one of my best friends and was a charming, if commitment-phobic bachelor. He finally realized a woman was worth giving up complete and total bachelor-hood. So now Bad and Jordan are in love and working towards building a life together. They live in a wonderful apartment in Chicago and they are quite a fabulous couple.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Bad was at the beginning of last month. It was mostly just a status update because things are going well for them. They have a happily drama-free relationship] Read Big Bad Thursday posts

Since my last post, not much has changed. I love that Bad and Jordan are my drama free friends. No crazy fights, no suspicion of breaking up around every turn. They are an inspiration.

But being drama free doesn't make them boring. They go out and they definitely are fun to be around.

Something else I love about them is that they can be separate from each other. Unlike Sonny and Cher, I see Bad without Jordan. They are still their own people.

Bad has finished his school semester or quarter rather. Jordan's semester will be done soon. So now they are working on holiday plans. She's going back to St. Louis to spend Christmas with her family. I believe he's staying here in the Chicago area with his family.

But New Year's Eve, they will be together. Hopefully, they'll be with me and my friends, but I guess we'll see.

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: One Wrong Guy After Another

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

I don't know if people read my quick intros about each person each day. Since they don't change much, I figure people don't.

I'd like to draw your attention to Camille's intro above. I say she has in-my-20s-dating-follies. Today's post is partly dedicated to just that.

You may remember my story about the time Camille gave her number to the butcher she met while running an errand for Malik. If not, read it here.

She had to get rid of that guy. And now she has another guy to get rid of. This guy approached her because he saw her bag with the name of her law school on it.

He asked questions about the school and expressed a desire to go there. She ended up giving him her card in case he had more questions.

And of course he began calling and texting because he "wants to be her friend." Camille attracts some weird guys, and this one is no different.

After I stopped laughing, I was able to get the whole story. He has a problem with texting her at inappropriately late times. Like 11:46 pm on a weeknight.

She told him she was available to answer more questions about law school but that she wasn't looking for any new friends.

Camille attracts... persistent... men. So of course, he didn't take the hint. To him that must have meant, "try harder stupid."

Since that time she's gotten rid of him. And now there's no one.

Except that cute law student she has the crush on. The one who can't remember her name.

During her winter break from school, I want Camille to meet some men who are not lame or just not that into her or forgetful or creepy. A nice guy who is genuinely interested in who she is as a person. Where is Hitch when you need him?