Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: Back, Back, Forth, and Forth

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***

 So after engaging in just-not-that-into-you behavior, Malik is getting better. Last week, Camille was trying to explain to Malik that she was going to have to stop seeing him because he couldn't do the simple things she asked. Things like making time to see her once a week. I can't imagine why that was so hard for him. But when she tried to break things off if he wasn't going to improve.

He immediately improved. Like literally stopped what he was doing and went to see her right then. I'm hoping it lasts past one week. But something really crazy happened in the in-between from him starting to act better and convincing her was going to keep acting better.

Malik sent Camille to a butcher/grocery store to pick up some meat for his dad to barbecue. While she was there, the butcher hit on her and she didn't exactly say no. In fact, she gave him her number. Since that time (only a couple days), he's been engaging in I'm-so-into-you behavior. He's what my friends and I describe as an aggressive man a stalker. What makes him that way? He sent her a pic of him the day they met, and was talking about how much he liked her and how much he knew God had put her in his path for a purpose. Now, I can appreciate God talk or whatever, but that just sounds downright creepy.

She sought out my counsel to get rid of this guy. After having a good laugh and wondering what in the world she was thinking even giving this dude her number, I got the whole story. He also left her this whack voicemail that she forwarded to my phone so I could listen. This guy was saying how he felt like she was meant for him and he really wanted to talk to her because he just knew they would be something special. His only saving grace was his sexy voice. It was all very creepy and over-aggressive.

So I told her to text him, tell him she was involved with someone else and things just moved to the next level (only a slight lie), apologize for even trading numbers with him, and express a need to move on.

Camille doesn't like to be mean to people without a really good reason. And a guy who simply liked her and wanted to get to know her better didn't warrant meanness in her book. I warned her that he wouldn't take a weak push-off well and she had to be firm. I was right.

After she texted things like, "I'm involved with someone, but I appreciate the interest" and "I'm sorry, but we can't talk because I'm talking to someone already", he kept texting back saying they could be friends for now and take things slowly.

I told her be blunt and let him know he had no chance at any type of relationship with her. She finally told him that, and he responded that he respected that, but he would hold onto her number and hold onto hope. That type of response is cute in a rom-com when they're supposed to end up together, but it's really whack and horrible in real life.

So after we got rid of the crazy butcher man (for now), I made Camille promise she wasn't going to share this story with Malik. He also has a stalker person, but I told her that's not something to bond over, and I doubted he would understand why she was picking up men after she told him she wasn't seeing anyone else. So hopefully this time next week, I won't be writing about Malik's response to this situation.

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