Saturday, February 26, 2011

Noni's Stargazing Saturday: Dismantling A Roller Coaster

***Noni is one of my really good friends from college. We were even roommates for a year and some change. But she's done with school (for now). She's starting a family with a baby boy and working on herself
and her relationship at the same time. Things won't always be easy, but they're usually always interesting.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Noni was back in the first half of January. I talked a bit about a toxic relationship Noni had in college and I compared that to her relationship with Eric. They have tumultuous ups and downs, earning the title of my "Roller Coaster Couple".  I talked about how around the new year, Noni was considering leaving Eric. She ultimately decided against leaving him because she wasn't ready to take such a big step only to take it back. She wanted to be sure. I was saying I felt like she was on the precipice of a full-blown quarter life crisis.] Read Stargazing Saturday posts.

Since that time, Noni has been super busy. She's still with Eric and they are still raising their son and living their life. They don't spend all their time working. I know this because the were at a dinner party last weekend. How grown up of them, right?

Well, I unfortunately cannot report on their Valentine's Day because I don't know how it went. Like I said, Noni has been super busy.  But I can find another blog post with interesting info that would relate to their relationship and focus on that for the week.

But before I get to that, I want to talk more about Noni's impending quarter life crisis. I don't know that she's definitely going to have one. I think she may even be too busy to have one. But I want to go on record saying right now that I hope is she does hit age 25 and fully freak out, that it won't be too terrible. She has a son to think about. That little boy goes a long way in keeping her sane and from making rash decisions. That is my prediction for this May and the six months after it.

Now, on to The Frisky. I'm heading to their parenting section. I can honestly say I've never clicked that button before. Noni and Gloria are the only two in The Medley who have children, so while I may spend more time there in the future, I won't be making a habit of it. Easy and I are years from kids, so that button has third party purposes only.

Here are some interesting articles I found (disclaimer: it's hard to find parenting articles that bother to include reference to the romance between mommy and daddy):
Miranda Kerr: I Intend To Breastfeed For As Long As I Can
Gwyneth Paltrwo Opens Up About Post Partum Depression
Do You Have A Backup Baby Daddy?
Why I'm Happy I Don't Have Daughters

I chose the first article because Noni breastfeeds. For how long she intends to, I don't know.
I chose the second article because it's something that she and I never discussed, but I always thought was a possibility because of how horrible things went for her around the time her son was first born.
I chose the third article because it asks an interesting question. From some perspectives, her involvement with Eric was timed as such that he was the backup for the toxic relationship for college.
I chose the fourth article because Noni only has the son and I've never heard her say she can't wait to have a daughter.

So which one to focus on... I choose... Door #...3! It's the only that gives me a chance to speculate on the state of Noni's and Eric's relationship. Haven't you noticed that's the point of this blog anyway? The actual Frisky article is single women sharing who their baby daddies would be if they, for whatever reason, were still single and the biological clock was approaching the 12th hour.

After things went south with toxic college relationship guy, she was alone for a very short period of time before she and Eric got going. And one they got going, things sped up pretty quick. We all know that just because you start something with a new person doesn't mean things are resolved with the old person. I think in a way, Noni saw Eric as a better alternative than the situation she just left.

Imagine if the women in that article also happened to be attracted and interested in dating the men whose genes they covet? That article would be titled "How I Ended Up Having A Child Out Of Wedlock With The Guy Who Was Supposed To Be My Backup". Well, maybe not, but I think there's a possibility of that being what happened between Eric and Noni.

There was a period in their relationship where so much of it was being compared with their recent pasts. He had just broken up with the mother of his older son. That baby was about 6 months old when Eric and Noni got going. Noni had just left toxic college relationship guy. When you have the influence of your past so heavily involved, it's hard to focus on what's right in front of you.

I don't know whether or not that has anything to do with Eric and Noni's roller coaster relationship. But I wouldn't be surprised if it did.

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