Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Camille's Wishful Wednesday: Horror Stories Made To Ruin Your Happiness

***Camille is a friend of mine I know from church. She is classified on another blog I read as a "hopeless romantic", and I think that describes her pretty well. I also think she's incredibly well-balanced and able to work on multiple parts of herself at once. She is a law student, a Sunday school teacher, and an all-around good person. She has some pretty concrete ideas about men and the type of man she'd like to end up with. But she's doing the in-my-20s-dating-follies thing as well.***
Quick Recap [I'm going to do a quick recap even though it's only been two weeks since I wrote a post about Camille, but what can I say? I like doing quick recaps...? When we last heard about Camille, she was getting into a dating groove with Malik. Malik is a pretty cool dude who's biggest problem is that he's a different religion from Camille. That hasn't stopped them from dating though, and it certainly hasn't stopped Camille from being in serious like with him.] Read the Wishful Wednesday posts.

The type of people that Malik and Camille both are is the type to think way past the current situation (reminds me of me...) and to let things far in the future affect their present. Even if those things are only slightly possible to actually happen. Camille has been saved from doing this to her normal extent because Mailk basically does it for her. So while they've been dating for a month and some change now, they talk about things like how they would raise their kids.

I don't see a huge problem with that if that matches who you are and how you plan your life, so for them I guess it works, since they both have these discussions. The problem comes in when such discussions only highlight their differences. He would want the kids raised in his religion, Camille would want them raised in her religion. Neither of them intends to ever compromise. This leads to a discussion of couples that are able to co-exist happily in their different religions. And I'm not talking "just happen to belong to a religion", I'm talking "believe strongly in all their religious tenets and would never convert to anything else, possibly ever".

It's becoming rougher on Camille as she realizes how much she's into Malik. He's been telling her about the couples he knows that are not of the same religion and how it's possible. She can focus on the negative and so she had these horror stories to share to counterbalance his optimism.

Story #1: There are support groups out there for people of her religion dating people of his religion. She sees this as something that must be horrible and hard to endure if they have and actual support group for it. This apprehension about how so many other people handle the same situation makes it difficult for her to handle things like him asking her to visit him while he's out of town (in three months) and referring to her and the term girlfriend all in one sentence. I'm sure that under different circumstances, those things would be music to her ears, but instead Camille is trying to guess the number of days before she needs a support group. I feel pretty badly for her that this is so stressful.

Story #2: A cousin of a friend of hers decided she was marrying someone of a different religion. The guy's family threw a bridal shower for her. Turns out, that shower was a conversion ceremony. Her family was understandably upset when they found out. I don't even think Malik's religion has such a ceremony. And because his family is a number of religions, I doubt they'd even consider such a thing. And then there's always the thought that even of someone "converts" you, you can always convert back, and/or sue. But this story is a horror story nonetheless.

It's hard for Camille to think about just enjoying the moment when she naturally looks to the future. It's harder when she's dating a guy who does it even more than her. At least it's not affecting her ability to be able to concentrate on her law school work. But it certainly is interesting to watch...

For next week, I intend to investigate whether or not he considers her his girlfriend.

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