Sunday, September 26, 2010

Sonny's Sunday: Settling Into Home Life

***Sonny is an old friend of mine. We went to elementary, middle, and high school together. He's also my friend who's doing the super-adult thing. He and his new fiancee Cher just bought a house. They're working on planning a life together. Even with all that stability, their love life is still interesting.***

Quick Recap [It's been five weeks since I've written about Sonny. The last post was talking about trouble in paradise. They were fighting a lot and most of the fights were about her not feeling secure in their relationship. I expressed concern over the fighting and also hope that it would soon resolve itself] Read Sonny's Sunday posts.

In the time that has passed since the last post, I haven't heard a lot from Sonny about his arguments with Cher. I was hoping that was attributed to either a lack of fighting or a desire to work it out just between the two of them. I think it may be more of the second one. It would have worked better for me to a be a person to talk to about their fights if I were just his friend or definitely both their friends. But I'm in a weird position of being definitely his friend and sort of her friend. I've reached out to her a couple of times to try and see if we could be friends outside of him, but it hasn't netted much yet.

You can imagine how glad I was when Sonny invited me to his house for a game night this weekend. I was going to get to see the two of them together in their home environment for the first time since the last game night of theirs I went to, which was only two weeks or so after they bought the house. He hadn't even proposed yet back then.

I arrived at their house and was super glad to see they didn't have a lot of tension. The day they helped me move from Rockford, there was obvious tension. Today, there was just the usual tension I see between them because they seem to automatically choose opposite ways of accomplishing any and every task. Literally, everything. There was a disagreement about how to order a pan of fried chicken, about whether or not to turn off the music when we played games, about how to pick the teams for games, about where people sat, about getting the coasters from the kitchen. Like I said, everything.

I don't want to make it seem like they were arguing a lot because they weren't. It was mostly him suggesting something, her shooting it down, him protesting, and then them doing what she suggested. I felt like I was the only one who noticed it though. Of course, everyone else at the game night was her sisters and their men, so maybe they're so used to it, they don't notice. There was one other person at the game night, I invited a guy to come. It's a bit weird to bring a date to a friend's game night, but what can I say, I wanted to spend time with this guy and I figured it wouldn't hurt to show the new fiance of one of my best friends that I have guys that are not her man that I'm interested in. Never dated Sonny, never wanted to date Sonny. But I can't assume she knows that to be true. Every little bit helps me keep my affianced (to a controlling person) friend in my life.

But he seemed happier. He didn't shoot me any looks that suggested he needed a hug or a talk or anything like that. And they seem to work. When they weren't disagreeing about stuff, they were smiling and enjoying each other's company. I don't know that they've ever been the type of couple to call each other baby and engage in PDA, so I can't expect that. But I feel a bit better that they've settled into a routine or a home life that works for them. In fact, Cher made part of dinner from the garden they planted. We have fried green tomatoes and collard greens. If planting and harvesting a garden doesn't speak of domestic life, I don't know what does.

So if Sonny doesn't bring up Cher's controlling nature, I certainly won't say anything about it. It's not like she's trying to control just him, she seems to try to control everything. And I don't think it's a personality trait he's unaware of. I'm even willing to bet the controlling nature is more bearable than the insecurity because he's such an easy-going and accomodating guy. I don't think he'll mind doing things her way if it gives her an added sense of security and helps them avoid arguments.

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