Saturday, September 25, 2010

Noni's Stargazing Saturday: A Plan For Independence, But It Depends...

***Noni is one of my really good friends from college. We were even roommates for a year and some change. But she's done with school (for now). She's starting a family with a baby boy and working on herself and her relationships at the same time. Things won't always be easy, but they're usually always interesting.***

Quick Recap [My last post about Noni discussed some difficulties between her and Eric. They had run into some financial issues and decided it was best for her to go live with her brother for a couple of weeks until they got things sorted out. At this point, they are supposed to be back living together. They also were having some issues in terms of Eric showing his commitment more to his new family. But they had a good discussion about it before Noni left town and things were looking up.Read Stargazing Saturday posts.

Well, it's been three weeks and Noni is still hours away from her fiance living with her brother. The money that Eric was supposed to be saving didn't get saved because of other obligations. Noni feels like he gives those obligations more importance that she and her son. I feel so bad for her to be going through this distress.

What's worse is that they are fighting again. They fight about him not calling when he says he will. They fight about him going out all the time while she's always at home with their baby. They fight about him letting his mother stop him from saving money for his baby. They fight about when they will actually get married. It's pretty bad.

It reminds Noni of a pretty toxic relationship she had in college. This guy, a Pisces, was quite horrible. But things with Eric aren't quite that bad. They are just bad enough for her to plan her escape route. Yep, her escape route. She doesn't like having to be dependent on Eric as she is now. So she has come up with a plan to fix that situation. I'd be happier if her plan included becoming independent whether she was with him or not. But it seems like her plan for independence doesn't include Eric.

It's a good plan though. It involves her working, utilizing her family that can actually help with her son, and finishing school by the end of next year. I'm just concerned that if Eric gets wind of her plan, he'll suddenly behave better so she doesn't leave and that will de-rail her plans. Plans that could still be fulfilled whether or not she's with him. But only time will tell.

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