Thursday, March 24, 2011
Big Bad Thursday: Everyone Around You Supports You, Yay!
Read Big Bad Thursday posts.
Last week, I linked to an article that sort of describe Bad and Jordan. I thought it pointed out an interesting trend that even though they were cohabitating, they weren't on the fast track towards marriage. At least, I don't think they are. They're focused more on enjoying each day and enjoying each other without always thinking about the logistics of where they stand and where they're going.
This week, I want to talk about integration. One of the hardest things to do when you're in a relationship is learning to mix and match your lives when you've got such active lives in existence before each other came along. Bad and Jordan both have full lives, so making an effort to combine those lives was probably no easy task.
Bad is a good friend and always there for his people. But spending time with friends at the drop of a hat isn't a priority anymore once you've made a commitment to someone, to living with them and sharing your lives. But Bad did good. He's with a woman who can roll with him. I would never think of inviting him to something and not inviting her too. Jordan is just a joy to be around and she is a perfect compliment to Bad, and she's great all by herself as well.
Because Bad chose very well in the woman he's partnered with, it makes it that much easier for the people in his world to join in in support of the relationship. I know of a couple (none of the ones I write about on this blog) who have difficulties when it comes to choosing where to celebrate holidays. Where ever then end up, it causes problems for the other person's family.
Bad and Jordan don't have that problem. They plan their celebrations around their own two schedules and then they work their families into it. I know they spent time with both her family and his over the Christmas/New Year's holiday, and I didn't hear anything about any struggles or feelings of neglect because both their families welcome their person's Significant Other (SO) with open arms.
A great example of this welcome is that Jordan is going out to lunch with my mother and me this afternoon. We're all meeting downtown to have lunch in the Walnut Room at Macy's. I mentioned before (maybe on my main blog) that my mom likes reaching out to people. My mom sees Bad as family, he's like an extra son to her in addition to Lion, so reaching out to Jordan is pretty much the same as her reaching out to my brother's fiancee.
I bet that having the approval and support of your friends and family makes things easier. It doesn't make the internal stuff of a relationship easier, but it has to help the overall stuff.