Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Tip Top Tuesday: Other People's Men

***My girl Top is unique and one-of-a-kind. This makes the story of her love life especially interesting. Just when you think you've got her figured, she makes an unexpected move. She's my career-minded friend who's always focused on self-improvement. She's also super-independent yet a closet nurturer. Read and learn how to be fabulous.***
Read Tip Top Tuesday posts.

Last week, I talked about some things going in Top's life that didn't concern men. She's got a lot going on with her career and her living situation, and I found it interesting to report. I love talking about the life of a single woman who isn't dating (when her life doesn't revolve around trying to get a date).

Don't think this post is about homewrecking. It's not at all. It's about adjusting to having friendships as an adult. People you were friends with as a child grow and change over time. They enter relationships. Time is the only way to tell if the friendship is able to make the transition to adulthood and co-exist with these relationships.

"He's my rock." It's a phrase that Top hates right now, and for good reason. Every time one of her female friends says this, it's just a matter of time before that "rock" becomes the only thing in the woman's life. I think this is a good topic to cover on a blog about love lives because this happen's so much.

One of Lion's best friends is having the same thing with his girlfriend. He's never called her "his rock", but you never see one without the other. It's as if they are incapable of leading two parallel lives. They are leading one life.

I understand the importance of having a life shared with your partner, but I will never understand that co-dependence of not even being able to make a move without consulting your partner, about anything. It's just too much.

For Top, it's especially bad because she keeps losing friends over this mess. She could use a few more interdependent friends and less co-dependent ones. Friends who know life in an adult relationship isn't about choosing between your significant other and your life-long friends.

And for that matter, why would anyone even want to date someone who is that all-consuming? Don't you want more to you life that having only one person left to talk to?

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