Thursday, April 8, 2010

Bad & Jordan

I figure now is a good time to explain Bad's love life since I've talked about Top. At a later date, I'll explain more about Noni, and also Lion. Bad, as I've mentioned is one of my best friends. I should explain how we became best friends first. We actually met when we like born. Our families know each other through business or political or government connections or something like that. His birthday is 4 days before mine. So we've known each other our whole lives technically. Except his family lived outside of Illinois for most of our childhood, so we didn't reconnect until college. His father and my mother thought it would be a good idea for us to date. Neither of us is opposed to going on a date setup by our parents because both of us have great parents with good taste who know us well. Either way, we went out and greatly enjoyed each other's company. Long story short, we didn't work out as a couple. We liked each other's company because we're basically the same person with different sex parts, lol. Neither of us is narcissistic enough to want to date someone who is exactly like us, so we took about six months as time away and then came back and quickly became the best of friends, which is where we should've started in the first place. If only to belabor my point, I call Bad when I want to know how I feel about something when I'm not so emotionally invested. He's able to tell me, and he's always right. I do that for him too (though less often, he is a dude).

Now, onto Bad and Jordan. Jordan is his girlfriend with whom he is completely in love. I'm so happy for them. He actually met her during college, shortly before he and I "dated." Around the time he and I were testing out our just-friends theory, he was finally extricating himself from his unfortunate ex, whom we'll call Natasha. She was a piece of work, a shining example why people shouldn't date outside their religion. Anyway, he decided he wanted another shot with Jordan. She had gone to Europe to study abroad after their last separation (that word does not describe their ending, I'll just leave that alone) and she had just gotten back. He pursued her and eventually she gave in because she loved him and wanted to believe he had changed and was no longer deathly afraid of monogamy and commitment. Well, lucky her, he meant it!! And I'd like to think I have a bit to do with it. They live in different cities (for now) and Bad likes to go out. I like being out with him because although of small stature, I can scare people off from feeling comfortable enough to approach. So when I'm with hanging out with Bad, women and men keep their distance. It works well, even on a certain chick from the past we'll just call Moe. We ran into her one time and I was glad to see she had learned to keep her distance from him. But even if I weren't there, Bad would be able to handle himself, he just wouldn't have the barrier that kept people from even bothering to approach.

Bad and Jordan are currently at the place where they are looking to move in together. May I just say that I do not know of any couples who have been married for more than 25 years who are still wanting to be married who didn't first shack up. It's the thing to do apparently. I'm all for it, I even helped him look for apartments one weekend while I was in town for a bachelorette party. He even told me he could see himself married to her. I've known this man for a while, and there's not much we wouldn't talk about. And we've discussed literally every important relationship is his life going back to like 7th grade. He's never said that about a woman before. Never. So, this could be the real deal. Because he loves her. And she's so good for him. She's a 6/6 on the yes scale.

And they work hard to make it work. In a normal month (one without emergencies or vacations), they see each other twice. He goes down to her and she comes up to him. They have even been on a couples vacation together. They're so cute too! They're children will be gorgeous. I try not to say that to him cause it kinda freaks him out. He's visualized up to marriage and he wants kids in the abstract, not specific yet, lol.

My Yes Scale: I ask three simple questions that have to have the answer of yes, not yes sometimes, but unequivocally yes. And it has to be a separate yes for each member of the relationship. 1) Are you happier being in this relationship that you were outside of it? 2) Does this relationship make you a better person? 3) Is the relationship healthy?
You'd be surprised how many people can't get a 6/6. If it's not 100% all the time, that's life. But if you're considering ending the relationship and it's not 6/6 and not even close to getting there, it might be time to leave.

Update on August: I haven't heard from him since I didn't reply to his text. I probably won't be mentioning him again until this time next year, lol. I promise to work on being a better person.

Update on PT: Nothing to report. Right now I'm just thinking how much nicer it would be to date someone with actual free time so that when I'm sick (like I've been the last couple of days), they could even notice and maybe bring me chicken soup.

Update on Top and Jack: He won't return her texts or calls. He seems to be overestimating the stability of their relationship. If he decides next week to call her, he probably won't get an answer. Once she decides to cut you off, you're done. Like for real done. I have my fingers crossed because I really like him for her.

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