Friday, April 16, 2010

Why I Can't Walk Away From PT

Everytime I think I'm ready to just give up because things aren't working out the way I'd like them to, PT does something amazing to change my mind. It's never really anything spectacular, it's mostly just him being who I want him to be for that time being. I wrote about him and his role in my friends and family getting news about a big life change I'm about to make in my main blog today. But then I remembered how I was so ready to just give up not too long ago. It's the Libra in me. When things aren't perfect, I have the urge to run. And then there's the stomach turning thought of expressing my discontent. I mean literally, considering it makes my stomach turn.

I almost told PT that I was over our current situation and I needed him to make it better. But I didn't get around to it when we spoke earlier this week because I wanted more to just catch up because it'd been so long since we got to chat. He could tell I had something on my mind, but one or both of our cell phones were breaking up so we just got off the phone. But when I spoke to him again about my upcoming changes, he was everything I needed him to be.

He was concerned for me and how this change was going to affect me. He has got 8 years on me, so he was able to share with me experience that helped me a lot to hear it. He didn't make it about him, he was just there for me. And when I decided I had enough of talking about this, he was ready with an interesting story about his job to tell me.

I was so grateful that he was there for me. I needed someone who didn't know me as well as my family and longtime friends who could offer me an opinion and support. I can't help that the type of person I am needs the support of someone I'm romantically inolved with.

One funny thing was him noting the serious note of the text I sent him asking to call when he got a chance. He first needed to be reassured that I wasn't pregnant. I cna't even imagine something like that. I don't know what I'd do if I were pregnant by someone I hadn't even known for six months. That's a horrifying thought actually. I take many many precautions to ensure I will not be pregnant until I'm good and ready. But it brought up an interesting point (which further lets me know that it's only been six months!) that I just don't know PT that well yet. That's why people date for a while. It takes time and life happenings to get to know each other. I took that opportunity to get to know his thoughts on abortion. I was about to make a joke that if I were pregnant, I wouldn't be in a very short time, but I didn't know his thoughts on abortion. I do know that the Ex took it very seriously and would've been appalled by such a joke.

But as things happen, like Noni's situation with Eric, we talk about it and it helps me get to know him. And the time we spend together also lets me know some things about him. And with most new things I learn, it just makes me more interested in him. Needless to say, I'm glad I've got this blog so PT doesn't have to bear witness to the back and forth in my head. He just gets to see the part of me that's somewhat-normal-acting and nice and funny and (hopefully) sexy and cool.

Some Random Things About PT: 1) He calls Sunny D orange juice like it's real orange juice. I feel some kinda way about that... 2) He loves his Wii as much as I love mine! We spent like ten minutes of conversation discussing our favorite new features of Wii Fit Plus. He's a dork like me! 3) We've both recently gotten into making our own smoothies. He even gave me an idea about using kiwi and yogurt.

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