Michelle's T.G.I.Fridays: 10 Steps For Cyclical Casual Relationships

***Michelle is a girl that grew up next door to me and we attended the same church. Now she's in her early 20s and living the single life. She goes on these dates that are either lovely or horrific. She's slightly terrified at the thought of committing to someone any time soon. And of course, she has the occasional man who really catches her eye and her heart.***

Quick Recap [The last post I wrote about Michelle was two weeks ago. In that post, I related two stories of updates about men from Michelle's recent romantic life. The basic story is that she received apologies from both of these men in just a short period of time about the crappy way they both treated her. I was very glad to report the apologies because that meant I could stop planning how to end these two guys.] Read T.G.I.Fridays posts.


This week, I want to talk about Michelle's dating pattern. It's happened more than once now and I think it is an official trend (not a scientific trend, but who cares about whether it's statistically sound?) What happens is pretty interesting. I may get some steps out of order or they may not apply to each guy, but I hope I've got the pattern down.


1. Michelle meets a guy in a group setting.

2. Her and the guy cross paths a couple more times over a period of time. During this time, they realize they have an interesting chemistry that may be worth exploring.

3. The guy lets Michelle know he's interested and gauges her interest. She's usually noncomittal.

4. At this point, Michelle compares the new possibilities guy to whoever is currently on the roster (and has yet to secure an exclusive commitment).

5. If this guy has potential and isn't an immediate threat to her current lifestyle, she lets things evolve with him to see where they can go.

6. The new guy decides he's some version of smitten with Michelle and requests things be taken to the next level. He may or may not have worked to build a good foundation with Michelle that would support such a request.

7. Michelle responds with, "I don't know" at first because she really doesn't know. She tries to figure out if this guy could really be worth that scary exclusive commitment.

8. The other men orbiting around just happen to try and make a rebound, further complicating her decision.

9. Right when Michelle is truly considering taking that leap into the unknown with the new man, he decides his patience has run out or his insecurities have built up or he's met someone else who doesn't have to think as hard about taking the leap.

10. Things fall apart, they decide to become friends, they start back at Step #1.


This is Michelle's pattern. At least it has been since I began writing blog posts about her love life. It's quite an interesting pattern and I'm dying to know if she thinks it's an accurate pattern and what she plans to do about it.


It's actually a perfect pattern for someone who isn't looking to be tied settled down. She graduates with a Bachelor's degree in three months and then moves on to get her Master's immediately after. All the men she's recently come across have been particularly selfish, so Michelle's pattern definitely keeps her safe from getting in too deep with any one guy.


Besides, she's only 23. Now is the time to date and have fun and get to really learn yourself as an adult. She will learn her adult preferences and her must-haves. I think she's right on track. If she wanted to be married tomorrow, she'd be screwed. Actually, she wouldn't. She'd just stop at Step #6 with the next guy and marry him. Thank God she's not ready to settle down, haha.